my wife and i seperated 2 months ago and im having a very hard time with it we both have issues with each other im seeing a counsler but she wont im afraid im going to lose her we have been marreyed 21 year with a 11 year old beautful little girl we talk daily sometimes it seems like nothing is wrong it makes me nuts i have asked if i can come home and she says im pressuring her can anyone help thanks
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help!!!
- Thread starter scameron21
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- Feb 29, 2004
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It is difficult to comment knowing little about your situation. In general, I have found that the hardest thing to do is to have patience, yet often it is what is required. People work through things at a different pace, and of course some never work through them at all. I supported a friend through a two year + separation. It was unbearable to her, and every day she awoke feeling like her world was ending. But, she was reluctantly patient. Her husband is now home. They are getting a long better than ever and are quite happy.
Your being in counseling is a good thing. Listen to what your counselor has to say because s/he gets to hear the details and can examine them in an objective way. If you ever are successful in getting her into counseling, you may need to have a different counselor for marital work. Sometimes the third person coming into a counseling relationship late feels like there is such an alliance already formed between the counselor and the party that saw the counselor first that it is hard for the third person to think that they will ever have an objective ear.
Best wishes to you. I hope it works out in a way that you are happy in the end. Until then, I pray you patience.
seeking.IAM
Your being in counseling is a good thing. Listen to what your counselor has to say because s/he gets to hear the details and can examine them in an objective way. If you ever are successful in getting her into counseling, you may need to have a different counselor for marital work. Sometimes the third person coming into a counseling relationship late feels like there is such an alliance already formed between the counselor and the party that saw the counselor first that it is hard for the third person to think that they will ever have an objective ear.
Best wishes to you. I hope it works out in a way that you are happy in the end. Until then, I pray you patience.
seeking.IAM
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MagicStar723
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Pray, ask her if you can pray together. With Gods help you can work through this! Don't give up and hopefully your wife hasn't either. We are praying for you!
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Have you asked her what you can do to make this marriage work? Since we can't change other people, we can ask God to change us. Try to see it from her viewpoint. Why is she hurt? How could you fix it? Pray for her everyday and wait for God to work in her heart and yours. The key is to never let the door open to divorce and know that what God seeks is reconciliation and restoration.
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I
InTheFlame
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There's a book I read once ages ago called Love Must Be Tough - I think it's by James Dobson? I picked it up again recently and found it still made a LOT of sense. It's sort of designed for people in difficult, emotional situations like yours. My advice would be to find a copy (it's pretty old - you might find it in a secular 2ndhand store) and read it... it's well worth the read and may help you heaps.
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oldrooster
Thank You Jerry
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praying doesn't solve anything if the problems that's causing the split aren't addressed. sure i'd like to know the details of another person's life but i doubt it's spiritual in nature.MagicStar723 said:
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