Help!

[Be.still]

Hi everyone I just need an advice because I am struggling with my husband. We are living in my parents house because we don't have house yet and we are not yet finish paying our house.
My Parents are so kind to my husband. But my husband are always offended with my parents in every lillte thing. And whenever my husband say it to me with harsh words I feel hurt he told me that my mom is like this like that.. everything in this house is immature he told me that soon my parents are going to die and it makes me angry but I'm still call I just let him say what he wants because I know he is accountable to God... My parents always wash his clothes cook him food.. we don't help my parents pay the electric bill even buy a food..he dot even help us cleaning the hoise. He don't even wash his plate after eating.. so KY mom always wash his plate but then I don't know why my husband is like that I don't understand.. when I told him not to say a bad words to my parents he is telling me that I'm on my parents side. He said "I'm your husband. I am your authority and you need to submit" he wants me to be on his side even if he is wrong.. it hurts me because those are not other people.. those are my parents and I love them.. I have 4 months old baby and I don't like him to be like his father I don't know what to do.. I ask my mom to be kind to him inspire of his attitude and they did but still my husband always offendes.. I don't know what to do my husband told me that if ever we payed our house he don't want my parents to go there for visit.. it kills me up inside.. I can't tell him what I feel because he will fightng me and say something harsh words... I pray and kneel to God and ask Him for wisdom on how to deal with my husabnds attitude or how to tell him that don't speak bad words to my parents because he will fightng with me.. I'm still on postpartum depression and Everytime he acts like that I'm shaking and always crying.. I'm so scared of him whenverw he is angry because he always say that he will leave me.. because I'm not on his side. Please tell me what to do. And pray for me

 

[Angeldove97]

Hi everyone I just need an advice because I am struggling with my husband. We are living in my parents house because we don't have house yet and we are not yet finish paying our house.

If you are living in another person's house, the rule is simple: you, your husband, and your child are guests. You should treat the owner of the house - your parents - with respect and follow their rules. They are not your servants.

My Parents are so kind to my husband. But my husband are always offended with my parents in every lillte thing. And whenever my husband say it to me with harsh words I feel hurt he told me that my mom is like this like that.. everything in this house is immature he told me that soon my parents are going to die and it makes me angry but I'm still call I just let him say what he wants because I know he is accountable to God...

We are all accountable to God for our own actions - your husband doesn't have any more sway with God because he is a male. His role may be different than yours, since he is the husband, however, once again, this is not his home and therefore he does not rule over you, your child, or your parents.

My parents always wash his clothes cook him food.. we don't help my parents pay the electric bill even buy a food..he dot even help us cleaning the hoise. He don't even wash his plate after eating.. so KY mom always wash his plate but then I don't know why my husband is like that I don't understand..

Ask your parents - being that they are not servants and your husband is a grown adult - to stop doing his chores and taking care of him as if he was a 5 year old. My husband is the head of our family, but if he leaves a mess behind, I have no issue with asking him to clean up after himself. He does his own laundry, throws out his own garbage, and helps me around the house. I'm totally fine with washing the dishes, throwing out our kitchen garbage, doing laundry - since I'm honestly better at those kinds of chores, but that does not give my husband the right to make a bigger mess knowing that I will clean up after him.

when I told him not to say a bad words to my parents he is telling me that I'm on my parents side. He said "I'm your husband. I am your authority and you need to submit"

Your husband is confusing servitude with submitting. He wants you to be a servant - not a wife. Is that what you want out of your marriage? To be his servant?

I might suggest that you both sit down with a priest and talk about what it means to submit. God would not want you to submit to your husband the same way your husband thinks you should. Be at peace with knowing this - otherwise you may end up with an abusive marriage.

he wants me to be on his side even if he is wrong.. it hurts me because those are not other people.. those are my parents and I love them.. I have 4 months old baby and I don't like him to be like his father I don't know what to do..

It is good that you are looking out for your child - he will pick up on the same behaviors and attitudes that the adults have around him. It is very likely he will have similar behaviors as the men in his life especially, so it would be good to continue to be aware that this may not be the best situation for your baby.

I ask my mom to be kind to him inspire of his attitude and they did but still my husband always offendes.. I don't know what to do my husband told me that if ever we payed our house he don't want my parents to go there for visit..

Your Mom is his elder - he should be showing HER respect regardless of her behaviors towards him.

Your husband is making a lot of threats - these threats are NOT healthy and do not belong in a Christian marriage. If he is threatening to not allow your parents to come visit, then tell him fine, you'll just take the baby and visit your parents at their house without him.

it kills me up inside.. I can't tell him what I feel because he will fightng me and say something harsh words... I pray and kneel to God and ask Him for wisdom on how to deal with my husabnds attitude or how to tell him that don't speak bad words to my parents because he will fightng with me.. I'm still on postpartum depression and Everytime he acts like that I'm shaking and always crying.. I'm so scared of him whenverw he is angry because he always say that he will leave me.. because I'm not on his side. Please tell me what to do. And pray for me

God has probably already put on your heart that your husband's behaviors are NOT a part of a healthy marriage. He is not being Christ-like and he is not meeting any of these guidelines about love from 1 Corinthians 13:
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy.
Love does not boast.
Love is not proud.
Love does not dishonor others.
Love is not self-seeking.
Love is not easily angered.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

Does any of that sound like your husband?

If not, I would have a heart-to-heart with him and lay down the law: marriage counseling or the marriage may be over. You do not need him to be a successful person, a great mother, a wonderful daughter if he expects you to be his servant and just clean up after him.

 

[Dave L]

Living with inlaws is trouble prone. Also living as guests with friends. Living in a campground in a cheap tent is far better than either.

 

[Angeldove97]

Living with inlaws is trouble prone. Also living as guests with friends. Living in a campground in a cheap tent is far better than either.

I guess it depends on how your family grew up. My family always lived near each other - different houses, but my grandparents, 2 sets of Great Aunt/Uncles, and Great grandparents lived in 4 houses next to each other (like a square - 2 on one street and 2 more houses across the street). To me it very normal to live with siblings and relatives, especially if they are older or need financial help.

 

[Liza B.]

Hi everyone I just need an advice because I am struggling with my husband. We are living in my parents house because we don't have house yet and we are not yet finish paying our house.
My Parents are so kind to my husband. But my husband are always offended with my parents in every lillte thing. And whenever my husband say it to me with harsh words I feel hurt he told me that my mom is like this like that.. everything in this house is immature he told me that soon my parents are going to die and it makes me angry but I'm still call I just let him say what he wants because I know he is accountable to God... My parents always wash his clothes cook him food.. we don't help my parents pay the electric bill even buy a food..he dot even help us cleaning the hoise. He don't even wash his plate after eating.. so KY mom always wash his plate but then I don't know why my husband is like that I don't understand.. when I told him not to say a bad words to my parents he is telling me that I'm on my parents side. He said "I'm your husband. I am your authority and you need to submit" he wants me to be on his side even if he is wrong.. it hurts me because those are not other people.. those are my parents and I love them.. I have 4 months old baby and I don't like him to be like his father I don't know what to do.. I ask my mom to be kind to him inspire of his attitude and they did but still my husband always offendes.. I don't know what to do my husband told me that if ever we payed our house he don't want my parents to go there for visit.. it kills me up inside.. I can't tell him what I feel because he will fightng me and say something harsh words... I pray and kneel to God and ask Him for wisdom on how to deal with my husabnds attitude or how to tell him that don't speak bad words to my parents because he will fightng with me.. I'm still on postpartum depression and Everytime he acts like that I'm shaking and always crying.. I'm so scared of him whenverw he is angry because he always say that he will leave me.. because I'm not on his side. Please tell me what to do. And pray for me

The poster Angeldove gave you so much here, I can hardly add to it, but for one thing. It sounds to me like you are fulfilling your godly obligations as a wife. You are being respectful.

From what I read he is not. He is not cherishing you as he loves his own body. He is not loving you as a Christian husband should. We so often get the "submitting" part but gloss over the husband part, which really gets MORE play than ours, as wives. He is to love you as he loves HIS OWN BODY. And more, if he does not, his very prayers are hindered (1 Peter 3). So yes, if you are not in the place where you can speak to him, take this to the church elders. He needs some guidance, and maybe fast.

I am praying for you.