Help!!

[MrBlonde]

First let me give a bit of information. I am 28 years old and have been a devoted follower of Jesus since I was in high school. I have never been in an official relationship. Having a wife and starating a family is a dream if mine and something I feel God has promised me. I was a youth pastor for a few years and then left to pursue a bachelor's degree and graduated a few weeks ago. I have had two women in my life I absolutely thought where the "one". The first really liked me but due to some personal issues never felt like she could commit to me because she was afraid she would ruin me. The second was an old student of mine who actually attended the same college I did. She lead me on for about 6 months and everytime I tried to enter into an official relationship she would say "I just want to be friends right now."

About a year ago I joined an online dating site. I went on a few dates but never met anyone I really clicked with. So after a few failed dates I took a break and now am at this critical point. Anytime I meet someone I am interested in I can never get the relationship beyond friendship. women seem to want nothing to do with me and I can't figure it out. People tell me I'm attractive and a great catch but I can't seem to find anyone I mesh with. I'm a INFJ and naturally shy and don't make friends very easily and have a slight lean of social anxiety. I feel like women hate me and want nothing to do with me. I have no clue when it comes to meeting women, asking out womwen. It all seems so dang complicated and there is too much going on for me to follow. Any advice would.be great.

 

[redblue22]

set aside some money. then start asking girls out. if you get so much as a look and a smile, go talk to her. find a place in the conversation to ask her out. return to step one.

 

[Tip Sanders]

You were a youth Pastor so what I'm about to say shouldn't come as a surprise. Keep waiting on God. I know. Easier said than done, but at least you're holding on to His promise. Don't haste because picking the wrong one will end up being a disaster.

 

[TheOliveSeed]

You just haven't met the right person yet. As an infj myself, I know how hard it is for us to connect with people.

 

[Gnarwhal]

First let me give a bit of information. I am 28 years old and have been a devoted follower of Jesus since I was in high school. I have never been in an official relationship. Having a wife and starating a family is a dream if mine and something I feel God has promised me. I was a youth pastor for a few years and then left to pursue a bachelor's degree and graduated a few weeks ago. I have had two women in my life I absolutely thought where the "one". The first really liked me but due to some personal issues never felt like she could commit to me because she was afraid she would ruin me. The second was an old student of mine who actually attended the same college I did. She lead me on for about 6 months and everytime I tried to enter into an official relationship she would say "I just want to be friends right now."

About a year ago I joined an online dating site. I went on a few dates but never met anyone I really clicked with. So after a few failed dates I took a break and now am at this critical point. Anytime I meet someone I am interested in I can never get the relationship beyond friendship. women seem to want nothing to do with me and I can't figure it out. People tell me I'm attractive and a great catch but I can't seem to find anyone I mesh with. I'm a INFJ and naturally shy and don't make friends very easily and have a slight lean of social anxiety. I feel like women hate me and want nothing to do with me. I have no clue when it comes to meeting women, asking out womwen. It all seems so dang complicated and there is too much going on for me to follow. Any advice would.be great.

I'm an INFJ too, my observation is you want this too badly, and you're in too much of a hurry. I realize you said you took a break from the dating scene for a bit, but what exactly did you do during that break? Did you just "not date" or did you spend some time figuring yourself out and improving yourself? If you were productive in that manner with your time, then it often leads to a more confident attitude. That's what I did, and so now if/when I go on dates, I can really care less whether things progress beyond the first one, and often times I don't want them to.

I have cultivated a higher sense of value in myself, and having experienced what I have in the past, I don't intend to compromise on what I want in a girl in no way shape or form.

So as we INFJ's are adept at doing, be introspective, take some time to determine whether you're the common denominator in these failings. And if so, how you can fix that. See a counselor even if you can afford it, you don't have to have an emotional or psychological issue to sit down with one, although by virtue of unpacking yourself you might discover some idiosyncrasies that need some work.

 

[morningstar2651]

First let me give a bit of information. I am 28 years old and have been a devoted follower of Jesus since I was in high school. I have never been in an official relationship. Having a wife and starating a family is a dream if mine and something I feel God has promised me. I was a youth pastor for a few years and then left to pursue a bachelor's degree and graduated a few weeks ago. I have had two women in my life I absolutely thought where the "one". The first really liked me but due to some personal issues never felt like she could commit to me because she was afraid she would ruin me. The second was an old student of mine who actually attended the same college I did. She lead me on for about 6 months and everytime I tried to enter into an official relationship she would say "I just want to be friends right now."

About a year ago I joined an online dating site. I went on a few dates but never met anyone I really clicked with. So after a few failed dates I took a break and now am at this critical point. Anytime I meet someone I am interested in I can never get the relationship beyond friendship. women seem to want nothing to do with me and I can't figure it out. People tell me I'm attractive and a great catch but I can't seem to find anyone I mesh with. I'm a INFJ and naturally shy and don't make friends very easily and have a slight lean of social anxiety. I feel like women hate me and want nothing to do with me. I have no clue when it comes to meeting women, asking out womwen. It all seems so dang complicated and there is too much going on for me to follow. Any advice would.be great.

If women hated you, they wouldn't want to be friends with you.

 

[PetLuv]

Good luck getting to where you need to be.