help

[Ninja Cat]

Help i dont know what am doing any more am so confused about everything i believe in
The things that are stopping me from being christian is abuse and the catholic church
I was abused by a priest when i was young the fact i have to relive that experience every time i go into a church.

Its just hurts me so much to go into the church i have flashbacks and body memories about what happened

i have a friend that i can talk to about this with he is the mental health minster
and i dont feel threatened by him plus my husband will be there with me
I havent talked to him in a while he runs a group for people with mental health problems but the only thing is its in a church
Av had therapy for the abuse but its was only 7 sessions and i cant go back there again because its only a one off thing that you can do
I see another therapist in 6 months time but that is for the OCD
My OCD is bad at the moment am cleaning my hands a lot and my thoughts are thinking that something bad is going to happened to my husband if i dont pray

I was Muslim then christian then Muslim and then Christian


help please am really confused

 

[dabro]

hun, It's not your fault. I suspected this....and I can see why anyone would blame Jesus/God.......I want you to know that we as christians will never judge you....and it's not your fault.....I mean I know the massive wave of guilt must be killing you and therapy is a very good start.....Just try to remember that God is love.......That He meant for you to have a perfect life....We live in a fallen world......And vengence is His. He will repay back the evil that has been done.....We are here for you.

 

[Ninja Cat]

Thank you
Am going to try and get in touch with my minster friend
Hopefully he is still working where he is working i know that the NHS are cutting staff so he might not be there anymore
I can try and go to the group at the church but i risk triggering myself for going into the church
My husband will be with me holding my hand

 

[dabro]

Thats got to be hard.....I will be praying for you!

 

[gracealone]

Good. I hope you do try and go to the church. I know that might trigger some really bad memories for you but maybe this time you can make some new/good memories. Maybe God will have just the right person waiting there to help you. I'll pray for you. Mitzi

Thank you
Am going to try and get in touch with my minster friend
Hopefully he is still working where he is working i know that the NHS are cutting staff so he might not be there anymore
I can try and go to the group at the church but i risk triggering myself for going into the church
My husband will be with me holding my hand

 

[Ninja Cat]

Am going to go to the group on Tuesday am scared but i know that the people who are there not going to hurt me
I just got to get use to churches
When my step dad died his service was held at a catholic church i had to be there and it was hard but i managed to stay there long enough for the service i did have flashbacks my husband was with me
My husband says he will come with me to the church and sit with me in the group
Thank you