My marriage is broken.
I'm 43, she is 39. She has two daughters that I adopted two years ago. We were married in November of 2009. Last August I discovered she was having an affair with a man we had helped out a lot. Someone I considered a friend.
We separated then and she filed for divorce in December or January. Since then she has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, her moods swing a lot and its hard for her to be calm or not angry. I drove her to a psychiatric hospital almost two months ago and she received this diagnosis. It's a key factor in why she has a hard time being in a relationship or even at a job for a long time. Her friends rotate as well.
Even with all of this I love her still and forgave her. She's gone back to using her maiden name and things are looking grim. I'm desperate to save my marriage. I hurt daily and have for ten months now. She's in counseling and will be for a long time. I went as well to a marriage counselor and they said I was wasting my money with them and that I had been a good husband to her. But I went anyway.
Our marriage started with lots of challenges. The oldest daughter was 15 and was raped. We had to put her into a hospital for cutting and then a year later she tried to kill herself. Now she's doing better, she's had a lot of health issues though and that compiled a lot of medical bills. We are still dealing with them. My wife went to college and got her English degree so we were a single income family for most of our marriage. I've had my job for 20 years and I'm stable.
Soon after we moved in together and shortly before we married my company went on strike. During that time my dad died.
Her dad's house almost burned down shortly after that, so he moved in with us for a while. After that he fell off a roof and almost died. We were vandalized, twice. Once our car windows were shot out, then our fence was graffitied, that on top of everything else. I worked two jobs just to keep the lights on.
Everything has been a terrible struggle. We've met obstacle after obstacle together. Keep in mind this has all been in less than 4 years together.
Our finances have always been very tight as you might imagine and that was also a factor, she was continually frustrated by being broke all the time. But we had a lot of expenses that we could not control as I've just told you.
I'm a wreck. I've prayed and prayed for the repair and restoration of our marriage. Things seem to be worse. We don't fight, I know she loves me, she just says she's not good at being married.
To top off everything else in my desperation to know if things were going to be ok I consulted psychics and now feel that God will allow the divorce to go through because of my sin.
Help, please
Andy
I'm 43, she is 39. She has two daughters that I adopted two years ago. We were married in November of 2009. Last August I discovered she was having an affair with a man we had helped out a lot. Someone I considered a friend.
We separated then and she filed for divorce in December or January. Since then she has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, her moods swing a lot and its hard for her to be calm or not angry. I drove her to a psychiatric hospital almost two months ago and she received this diagnosis. It's a key factor in why she has a hard time being in a relationship or even at a job for a long time. Her friends rotate as well.
Even with all of this I love her still and forgave her. She's gone back to using her maiden name and things are looking grim. I'm desperate to save my marriage. I hurt daily and have for ten months now. She's in counseling and will be for a long time. I went as well to a marriage counselor and they said I was wasting my money with them and that I had been a good husband to her. But I went anyway.
Our marriage started with lots of challenges. The oldest daughter was 15 and was raped. We had to put her into a hospital for cutting and then a year later she tried to kill herself. Now she's doing better, she's had a lot of health issues though and that compiled a lot of medical bills. We are still dealing with them. My wife went to college and got her English degree so we were a single income family for most of our marriage. I've had my job for 20 years and I'm stable.
Soon after we moved in together and shortly before we married my company went on strike. During that time my dad died.
Her dad's house almost burned down shortly after that, so he moved in with us for a while. After that he fell off a roof and almost died. We were vandalized, twice. Once our car windows were shot out, then our fence was graffitied, that on top of everything else. I worked two jobs just to keep the lights on.
Everything has been a terrible struggle. We've met obstacle after obstacle together. Keep in mind this has all been in less than 4 years together.
Our finances have always been very tight as you might imagine and that was also a factor, she was continually frustrated by being broke all the time. But we had a lot of expenses that we could not control as I've just told you.
I'm a wreck. I've prayed and prayed for the repair and restoration of our marriage. Things seem to be worse. We don't fight, I know she loves me, she just says she's not good at being married.
To top off everything else in my desperation to know if things were going to be ok I consulted psychics and now feel that God will allow the divorce to go through because of my sin.
Help, please
Andy
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