Help!!!!!

[raven1]

Can people please help me. How long did you doubt Gods existance when you doubted. Do you still doubt. Please help me I do not want to go to hell. How do you know what doubt is just general doubt and what is caused by o.c.d. No apologetics seem to be helping me. Everytime I read something about God doing this or that I get this doubt and this feeling like yeah right. I pray everynight and look up people have had the same doubts all day on the internet and read apologetics and nothing is helping me and there is no way to search for names or type in names of people I see on here who have struggled with this in the past. It is weird to because I made sure my daughter was saved the other night and it does help a little to think we are to complex to be here for nothing and people have been to heaven but they werent dead long and some people havent seen heaven. AAAAHH!!!!!

 

[OCD=Owie]

This sounds familiar. I've been through this same sort of thing. You desparately try to find some kind of proof that will convince you once and for all that God is real, and that will once and for all stop your doubts.

One thing I learned though was that trying to come up with these proofs doesn't really help. It might give you relief for a minute or two at best, but in the end, you start doubting again.

The behavior that you have described, reading apologetics and reading about people's experiences with doubts, I think has become obsessive compulsive for you. I did very similar things when I was suffering from it. It doesn't end up helping. In fact, I still can't get into too much Christian apologetics simply because it sparks my OCD again (though, not as severely as it once was).

I also think you need to stop trying so hard to discern between "non-OCD doubts" and "OCD doubts." I don't think there is a clear distinction between the two. You're going to have doubts. I have, you have, and many other good Christian people have. It's what you do with those doubts that matters.

And no, I do not believe that that feeling of "yeah right" that you get when you hear others talking about the things God has done is a sin. I had the same thing, and I know that for me, it was either just a random doubt (which is normal), or a feeling (which is untrustworthy). In fact, I think that that feeling of doubt you get when somebody talks about the things God has done is primarlily OCD related. I know that once my OCD started to get better, then that feeling became less and less for me.

Hang in there!