sorry but this might be kinda long so you can understand fully where im coming from and to get the best answer from ya'll. About 6 months ago or a little longer I askes jesus to come into my life. I felt such a huge peace within me i can't explain and there for about a month or so my life was going great. I loved God and could sense His presence around me. For the first time in my life I truly felt and knew I was saved. I knew God was real and that He loved me. Then out of nowhere I started having these horrible thoughts about my family. Then the thoughts turned to going to Hell and blasphemes about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I didn't want these thoughts and cried out to God day and night to save me and forgive me and to cleanse me of all the evil inside of me. It got to the point where I thought I was possessed by an evil spirit. Everytime I would pray that the Holy Spirit of God would guide me in my head I would say "devil" not "god" and it took me having to correct myself each time. Finally after months of this it quit being as bad and has almost completely stopped now. But now I seem like I can't feel any of the normal feelings I'm supposed to it seems like I'm numb. I no longer feel the longing for God that I used to. The Bible doesn't hold my intrest like it did. And I'm now questioning whether God is even real or not. I think in my head all the time this is not how I'm supposed to be. When I think of other religions like Wiccan or Athesiam (sp) I think to myself no I can't do that I know the truth. Oh not to mention during my time of all this at one point I even started to believe that maybe it was true that God was the Devil and the works of Jesus were from Him. I regretted thinking this and have asked God to forgive me. It seems like everything moral in me has gone out the door in some ways. I know this is not how its supposed to be and can't seem to change it. I need an honest answer..am I not feeling the longing for God and questioning now if He is even real and seeming to have lost all care if I go to Hell or not. At times I get the fear in my stomach thinking about it but then it goes away. Do you think I have committed the unforgivable sin? I just need an honest answer please even if you think the answer is yes I need to know.
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kaykay9.0
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First of all, no, I don't think you have committed the unforgivable sin. We don't "diagnose" on this forum, but your thoughts sound much like many of us who struggle with OCD. If you read through what others have posted here, you will find many similarities.
I hope it doesn't sound presumptuous to suggest this, but I think you should consult a counselor and/or psychiatrist and see if you need to be treated for OCD. This sounds very much like what most of us here either are currently struggling with or have struggled with in the past.
Prayers for you~
I hope it doesn't sound presumptuous to suggest this, but I think you should consult a counselor and/or psychiatrist and see if you need to be treated for OCD. This sounds very much like what most of us here either are currently struggling with or have struggled with in the past.
Prayers for you~
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two things tell me you havent commited the unpardonable sin
1 your still alive
2 this seems to bother you big time
The unpardonable sin wouldnt even bother you. because you would reject the Holy Spirit, you just simply wouldnt care.
Im not sure how many of these posts you read but many of the folks hear go through this. Your sick and God isnt gonna condemn you for intrusive thoughts that you are incapable of controlling.
Trust in God that He knows this and you will be able to find rest
read Matthew 11 in 28-30
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
In order for us to really rest in Christ, we need to trust in Him and know that He knows the things we say,obsess over,think are not something we want. He will give us strength. I can see that you really care about Him, have to understand God knows our hearts especially in our times when we doubt it.
Our sicknesses cant fool Him, not the least bit. He knew before you were born you were gonna go through this. and yet? He drew you to Him? Why do you think that is?
Because despite on what your going through He loves you and wantes an intimate relationship with you. There are no suprises with God
You didnt draw yourself to Him, it was Him who called you. I see alot of the word "feel" in your post. Put away your feelings and rest in Him
Have you made an appointment with a doctor yet?
When I used to get very overwhelmed by OCD and my "feelings" and "fears" I used to make a list on everything. It was a long list nonetheless it always had "fear" and "feelings" in it. I used that to write everything off as OCD and it made me feel better
If you get overwhelmed you could always try that, it might help. Did you notice I all the "feel. felt, fear" in your post that I made bold? Your not the only one
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thank you for your answers to my post. i know what you mean by feeling things and that just opens up a whole new can of worries for me. did i really mean it when i asked jesus into my life or was it all just based on feelings that i had at the time. im just so confused in my life right now. i am making an appointment tomorrow i can't take this anymore and i need to know what is causing all of this
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Your gonna doubt things and question your motives especially towards God. This is part of OCD.
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gracealone
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You've already read some really great advice and encouragement from the previous posters so I don't have much more to offer, except to say that I'm soooo glad you have that appointment scheduled. Smart move!! What is happening to you sounds very much like OCD episodes and if so the cause is due to a chemical imbalance in your brain chemistry, a real treatable disorder and not a spiritual problem.
Let us know how the appointment goes.
Praying for you,
Mitzi
Let us know how the appointment goes.
Praying for you,
Mitzi
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