sorry but this might be kinda long so you can understand fully where im coming from and to get the best answer from ya'll. About 6 months ago or a little longer I askes jesus to come into my life. I felt such a huge peace within me i can't explain and there for about a month or so my life was going great. I loved God and could sense His presence around me. For the first time in my life I truly felt and knew I was saved. I knew God was real and that He loved me. Then out of nowhere I started having these horrible thoughts about my family. Then the thoughts turned to going to Hell and blasphemes about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I didn't want these thoughts and cried out to God day and night to save me and forgive me and to cleanse me of all the evil inside of me. It got to the point where I thought I was possessed by an evil spirit. Everytime I would pray that the Holy Spirit of God would guide me in my head I would say "devil" not "god" and it took me having to correct myself each time. Finally after months of this it quit being as bad and has almost completely stopped now. But now I seem like I can't feel any of the normal feelings I'm supposed to it seems like I'm numb. I no longer feel the longing for God that I used to. The Bible doesn't hold my intrest like it did. And I'm now questioning whether God is even real or not. I think in my head all the time this is not how I'm supposed to be. When I think of other religions like Wiccan or Athesiam (sp) I think to myself no I can't do that I know the truth. Oh not to mention during my time of all this at one point I even started to believe that maybe it was true that God was the Devil and the works of Jesus were from Him. I regretted thinking this and have asked God to forgive me. It seems like everything moral in me has gone out the door in some ways. I know this is not how its supposed to be and can't seem to change it. I need an honest answer..am I not feeling the longing for God and questioning now if He is even real and seeming to have lost all care if I go to Hell or not. At times I get the fear in my stomach thinking about it but then it goes away. Do you think I have committed the unforgivable sin? I just need an honest answer please even if you think the answer is yes I need to know.

