help?

[onefinewire]

hello.
I was sexually assaulted for a little over 6 months.
I developed eating disorders and then started cutting myself.
I just didn't know how to deal with the pain and everything that was going on. I'm finally seeing someone for help, but it's hard for me to open up to her.
Any suggestions?

 

[bubblefish]

I think the main thing is time *hug*

I know how hard it is to open up to someone about things like this. It took me just over 3 years before I could actually stand to talk to someone about my past and even then it wasn't easy, and still isn't.

Slowly as you begin to trust someone it will get easier though. *hug*

And also, I have found posting here has helped. Even if you don't say a lot of your story, hearing other peoples and knowing that you are not the only one who feels that way and has struggled can sometimes help.

 

[Johnnz]

It takes time to really trust someone. It is easier with some people than others. Keep on for a while, the, if you don't begin to feel some real trust and confidence maybe try someone else. But also recognise that trust is one big issue for an abused person.

John
NZ

 

[calledchuck]

Trust is a BIG issue!!! Its true that its hard for people who have been abused to open up, but on the other hand, you should trust your instinct on some people. God blessed us with instinct but it can also be used against us too. So pray for God to show you a balance.

I agree with katie and john that it just takes time. Its really easy for me to say that but im the worlds worst with not being patient. I understand that time can seem like your worst enemy sometimes. But God knows whats best.

Im not sure if any of this helped you... but know that I am praying for you. God WILL provide you with someone you can trust to open up to, He will show you who that person is, and He will give you the strength to open up.

You've already taken a huge step by getting help and posting here. CF is an AMAZING place!!!

Again, im praying for you!!! Godspeed!!!

-Chuck

 

[cherishmj]

Trusting someone enough to open up to them about issues like this is tough it definately takes time as the others have said, would you feel more comfortable writing down what you would like to say and then giving it to that person to read? It may be a good discussion starter without you actually having to speak the words. I know it has helped me in the past, but definately take your time and only share what you are comfortable with.

Praying for you,
Cherish

 

[calledchuck]

cherishmj brought out a great point! writting it down is alot easier for me to do then speak.

just find a way to share how you feel. as long as its healthy.

-Chuck

 

[arriana]

i am going through similiar things right now but with physical abuse from a boyfriend and don't know how to trust next boyfriend or him again and how to open ujp to anyone about it. i have held in in for a year and a half now. posted some here but no responses so far, may be people don't know what to say but i am sharing and it is hard. i need healing, the heart can only take so much alone is my thought.

 

[Duffy70]

i am going through similiar things right now but with physical abuse from a boyfriend and don't know how to trust next boyfriend or him again and how to open ujp to anyone about it. i have held in in for a year and a half now. posted some here but no responses so far, may be people don't know what to say but i am sharing and it is hard. i need healing, the heart can only take so much alone is my thought.

I'm really sorry no one's spoken to you about it yet. If you'd like to talk about it you can PM me at any time.

The important thing for both you and onefinewire to remember is that you're really not alone, in terms of your experiences or feelings. It's very easy to get into a mindset of 'I'm tainted/ I'm horrible/ no one is going to want me now/ I don't deserve to get help' because of the nature of abuse and I think that's part of why it's so important to open up - it helps remind you that actually, you're still precious and your happiness is still worth fighting for. If you open up here or to anyone with an iota of understanding of such matters in the real world, they're hardly going to treat you with contempt! It is very hard to open up, I know, especially when your trust has been shaken by abuse, but when you do and you see that people just want to help you through it, it can really help.

 

[Pure_Heart]

When you feel safe, you will start talking. Unfortunately for those of us who have endured abuse, it takes awhile to reach the point of "safe" with people. You could ask God to allow you to feel safe with this counselor so you can open up and start sharing. Be forewarned though, when you feel safe, the floodgates will open wide and the pain, trauma, and events will pour profusely from you until you are completely spent. It is a healing process which your counselor seeks from you and what you must go through to overcome the trauma which has occurred in your life.

Goodluck to you and remember that God is with you always!

 

[Tenebrae]

as the others have said, trust is a big one.


How do you go with writing things down? I know quite a few people have found journalling really helpful.





Most importantly be gentle on yourself

 

[Carolyn H]

Praying for you!!! Opening up and trusting are the hardest thing to do...yet that is the path to healing. I pray you can speak up about this wound. God is with us even in the dark and lonely times. He never hurts us...he is there, and we can rest in Him!!!