Help!

[Assisi]

I am asking for a bit of help from you ladies today. My husband and I found out last week that our baby had died in utero. We thought we were safe now that we had entered the second trimester, but we went to an ultrasound and were told that the baby's heart had stopped beating. On Friday I had a D & C to remove the baby (my body still thought it was pregnant, I had no bleeding or cramping and my Pregnancy symptoms were still going strong).

I need your help
We want to try again, but we have received conflicting advice about when it is safe to start again. One doctor said try straight away after my first period, another said to wait for three months. We don't want to do something which would put a new baby (if God blesses us again) in harms way. I want to rely on good medical advice to know when my body is ready, but I think that my husband and I will know when we are emotionally and spiritually ready through prayer.
I had a bit of a look around the web and most sites say one cycle is enough physically but that three is better emotionally. Do any of you have any knowledge of this subject? Do you know of some good links where I can find out more? We will speak to our doctor again when we are feeling a bit more normal and ask the reasons for the different views. But so far, no one can really offer a reason.

Thank you in advance!

 

[RN4CHRIST]

It is best to wait at least the same amount of time you were pregnant. So if you were in your second trimester then wait 3-6months. This allows your body time to heal and get back to normal. There are conflicting advices, but this seems to be to most sensible to me.

 

[gracepaints]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is.

There is no concrete evidence of an increased risk of miscarriage if you get pregnant immediately after (or even before) your first post-m/c period. Still, they tend to scrape the uterus pretty clean with a D&C, so I would wait at least 2 months to make sure eveything is cycling normally.

More important is your emotional healing. I think a lot of women try to get pregnant quick, so they can 'get over' the miscarriage. I'm not sure this is altogether healthy. I never realized the depth of my grief until some time had passed. If I had gotten pregnant to quickly, I might have buried those feelings for years.

I recommend www.pregnancyloss.info for more information. They also have a great community forum that you can ask your questions on.

God bless.

 

[Assisi]

Thanks for the help ladies.

You can understand why I don't want to just say, 'well three months it is then'. I don't want to make our decision about when we are ready based on science, but rather on prayer. We may not be ready by three months and I don't want to do anything stupid. Of course I do want to make the decision about when my body is ready based on science. This makes it difficult because the doctors seem to be making their statements (one way or the other) based on my psychological state. I want them to make it based on my physical state! I am going to make an appointment with a psychologist this week to talk about my psychological state.

I'm not ready to get pregnant again, and I'm not ready for the ups and down of ttc, or another miscarriage. I'm not even ready to talk to the doctors about those things yet. But I don't want to have three months or one cycle in my mind for no particular reason - it could drive me crazy.

Thank you for your help!