Help

[ManOfTheWorld]

A little while ago I met a woman who has become very very special to me. I try very hard to please her and show her just how much she means to me and how much I love her.

But it seems that no matter how hard that I try I keep hurting her. And it is driving a wedge between us that I do not wish to be there.

I will admit that I have lied to her more than is appropriate, and she keeps forgiving me for that. And I am now trying very very hard not to do anything that will hurt her or drive her away, but it feels like the harder I try the further away I push her.

At the moment she does not trust me and for that I do not blame her, I have bought this on myself. But after today I feel that I have lost her forever and that is something that I do not want.

How do you prove to someone that what you are saying is true after you have filled their head with so many lies? How do you even begin to rebuild a relationship that has broken so much that it seems beyond repair?

I really do not want to lose her, she means the world to me but I honestly don't know where to start.

 

[f U z ! o N]

well maybe explain to us what you have done to hurt her. other than that, pray pray pray and show her love.

 

[jesusmysaviour76]

Perhaps you need to tell her everything honestly what it is you have lied to her about, put her mind at ease so that she knows that from this point on there will be no more lies, if you openly tell her everything you have told her that is false, then that will make it easier for her to begin to heal.

Then from there you need to be totally honest with her, making sure that you watch everything you tell her so that she knows you are being honest. Talk to her openly and frankly, show her love with honesty.

Speak her love language, find out what it is and speak it, the only way you will find it out is by speaking to her, ask her what she likes, spend the time thinking and making her special by making the conversations about her, make her feel important, that will make her feel loved, so will go a long way to helping you.

Hope this helps a bit.

God Bless

 

[Johnnz]

Trust can be incredibly strong. But once broken it can be a very long time to get it back. Sometimes that never happens.

It will not be so much what you are trying to do, important as that is, but more importantly who you are becoming. One deals with behaviour. The other involves inner change and character. That willbe what she is really looking for I suspect.

John
NZ

 

[Mskedi]

The fact that you said you lied "more than was appropriate" is probably why she's having trouble trusting you -- it sounds like for some reason you think there is an appropriate amount of lying. There isn't.

The only way you'll earn her trust is by laying everything out in the open and being consistantly honest from here on out. Whether or not that works is in her court, however, and you cannot control that.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

No matter what, the best thing you can do is hope for the best, accept the consequences for your actions, and learn from this.

Pain is a very effective teacher.