Help!!!!!!!!

[javan]

yesterday my boyfriend made an analogy to something we were discussing. the analogy he used equaled what i was trying to say but the actual subject he used did not relate to our discussion at all. it was like a light bulb turned on in his head and he said "oh ya , like your sister is better looking than you."

i am so hurt. it's gross. my own sister. did he break up with me? should i break up with him? i feel physically sick to my stomach. how am i supossed to be in the same room with him and her now? sometimes the three of us go to movies together. now i'm not gonna want to do that. i'm not gonna tell her he said that. but it's still not fair to her that he said that. i feel so ugly now. like how is she so much better looking than me? it's not like i can change how God made me and i just want to be loved for who i am. i am more muscular than her. i don't look masculine, i just look like a gymnast. in fact i almost went into gymnastics full force to compete in the olympics but pursued other dreams instead. i am 5'4 and 119 lbs. but she is 5'6 and 100lbs. that's just how she is built. she is not anorexic, just tiny. she almost went into modeling. i call her a model because that is one of her gifts from Ya, all she has to do is use it. my sister and i are too different types of girls, even in personality. i know it's possible my boyfriend is attracted to both types but i am his girlfriend and she is my sister!!!!! i mean come on!!!! where are the boundaries for him here!!!!!? since the time i met him 'till his comment yesterday he has said in general he likes shorter curvier girls (me, my sister is not curvy), but he still said that thing about my sister yesterday. so what was that comment supossed to mean??? please help, i feel so bad. i mean am i his type or what!? i tried to tell him that i was left confused after he said that yesterday because i don't know if he still wants me or wants someone that looks like my sister but he says: go away... i don't want to talk about it.

ugh i wish i could just throw up and get it over with, my stomach is so off right now.

 

[Inperfected]

Ok... calm down for a second...

Did he mean it in a joking non-serious way? Or actually meant it. This is the first thing you need to find out. Secondly, attempt to talk to him again about it...

Sorry I can't be much more help... I"m praying for you

 

[Deliberatetourist]

He broke a major rule. NEVER, EVER under any circumsatamce should a guy ever rat on his GF's appearence. Even if my GF's sisters would be prettier than she is (which they are not) as far as she is concerned she's the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth. Do I really believe this? Of course not but I convince her that I do and although she never really believes it herself she is somewhat convinced that I believe it and it is a positive aspect to our relationship. Your response to all this just goes to show you that 30 years af feminist blitzes cannot undue 1000's of years of genetically formed behavior. Women DO care about how they look and are percieved by us. Us men knew that all along.

 

[javan]

thank you guys.

 

[javan]

i give up....i think i'm going to break up with him. i can't stomach this anymore.

i asked him again and he finally said i don't think your sister is more attractive than you. how does he go from your sister is more attractive than you to you are more attractive than your sister?.... one is obviously the truth, they can't both be. i think the first one. also, there was something he has been saying that i have been ignoring because it is so off the wall. he has been saying: i said that because i wanted to agitate you to see if you think my brothers are more attractive than me. we weren't discussing that yesterday. i have never given him a reason to think that in this relationship. when it came up early on in the relationship years ago i said (and it's all true): you are way more attractive to me than your brothers, they aren't even my type and i am so happy with you, you are what i am looking for. i think this "reason" of his "brother" is a lie. i think he got caught with his hands in the cookie jar. he made that comment about my sister out of nowhere. he was clearly thinking about her and accidentally said what he was "really" thinking.

 

[javan]

i also want you all to know that i am going to pray that God give me peace about who i am because i am feeling very bad about myself right now.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

i also want you all to know that i am going to pray that God give me peace about who i am because i am feeling very bad about myself right now.

I'll be praying for you too! I hope God makes it clear what you should do

 

[javan]

i am starting to regret this post. friends keep telling me he's probably just going through a phase cause i'm his first girlfriend so i've decided not to break up with him. sorry to have wasted you all's time.

i do feel better about myself now. i shouldn't feel bad about the way God made me. God made me this way for a reason (like the gymnastics i was into, 5'5 is the cut-off height). plus i have always liked the way i am built. i just felt awkward compared to "models" and my sister who is one (even though she is not using her talent right now).

one of my guy friends did say that he was out of bounds to say that though because all it did was come across as an insult. my friend said it was a comment he should have kept to himself, like deliberatetourist said.

 

[javan]

I'll be praying for you too! I hope God makes it clear what you should do

thank you

 

[DeepThinker]

i am starting to regret this post. friends keep telling me he's probably just going through a phase cause i'm his first girlfriend so i've decided not to break up with him. sorry to have wasted you all's time. .

Asking for help is not a waste of anyones time, sometimes you have to get things down or simply say them aloud to somone to clear the thoughts in our own heads.

God Bless

 

[eatenbylocusts]

This is a bit of a sensitive area for me too. When my ex-h and I were separated he asked my best friend (my foster sister) out on a date. My current bf talks to her a lot when we're all together and I find it bothers me a little even though she is not his type career/education wise.

 

[AutumnDreamer]

First it would be helpful if we knew the whole analogy, when I read it the first time I read it as sarcastic like he was saying "like your sister could ever be better looking then you" after reading your other posts I went back and read it as "ok like how your sister is better looking then you" So it is really hard to understand what he could have meant without knowing what led him to say it.

 

[Alenci]

First it would be helpful if we knew the whole analogy, when I read it the first time I read it as sarcastic like he was saying "like your sister could ever be better looking then you" after reading your other posts I went back and read it as "ok like how your sister is better looking then you" So it is really hard to understand what he could have meant without knowing what led him to say it.

Exactly... context needed.