Help!!!!

jen_soccer13 · Oct 29, 2004

I have a serious problem with cutting myself. I don't know who to go to about it though. I have seen many counselors but they all say that it is all for attention. They are wrong. When I cut the physical pain makes me forget about all the emotional pain I have. I have been doing this for 6 years now but yesterday had to get 10 stitches because I cut too deep.
I know that none of you know exactly what to do but if you have any advice on who to go to for help I would appreciate it.
I am at college and my room mate is my RA and she had to report it to the hall director and they made me see 3 different counselors that told me I was just looking for attention. Now, though, if I get caught doing this anymore I could be sent home. Home is where all my pain is from though so that is the worst thing that could happen.
My room mate Crystal suggested that I talk to her pastor of her youth group. Is that a good idea?
Please if you have any advice let me know.
Thanks

*It may help you to know that the reason I cut is because I feel horrible about myself due to all the sexual and physical abuse I have had in my life...Some of it that is still going on.
I have been to many counselors, however everyone has told me that i exagerate my story
WHAT DO I DO....I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN AND FEEL SO ALONE!!!!!!

Sketcher · Oct 29, 2004

Counsellors are much better at handling this than I am. So do what they tell you to do. Stop. I don't care how you stop, as long as you don't pick up something else destructive in the process. Just stop.

I have had a friend that cut, and frankly it just sets me off because I have done everything I could to help her, so have all my other friends, and she wouldn't be helped by counsellors either. In this case it was for attention. Having my best efforts and theirs cast aside like that hurt us more than you can believe. So instead of cutting yourself, you're really cutting your friends.

Buttermilk · Oct 29, 2004

I'm afraid I don't have any advice, but I am thinking about you and this sad situation that you are in

Rivard · Oct 29, 2004

Sorry I don't have any advice either, but I sure will pray for you!!

fiveinjuly · Oct 29, 2004

That's horrible, and the counslers at your University are stupid for not seeing it as a problem.

MetalBlade · Oct 29, 2004

First off, please, please, please, please realize you are not alone. People at your age, and even my age, go through many dramatic changes. When I was in high school, I tried suicide a couple of times, via cutting myself. You have to realize you have a ptroblem and get help. There are people out there looking after you, your room mate, all of us at the board, and epecially God! You didn't really state why you are doing this, but whatever it is -it's definetly not worth dying or bleeding to death over! Trust me. I tried to kill myself for the stupidist reasons. And now I realize how stupid I was. But it has made me stronger. And if you can get through this you will be stronger. Remember you are not alone! Never alone are you!

all4him07 · Oct 31, 2004

twistedsketch said:
Counsellors are much better at handling this than I am. So do what they tell you to do. Stop. I don't care how you stop, as long as you don't pick up something else destructive in the process. Just stop.

Having my best efforts and theirs cast aside like that hurt us more than you can believe. So instead of cutting yourself, you're really cutting your friends.

First off, If someone could just stop they would. do you honestly think they enjoy cutting themselves and giving themselves scars? It takes a lot of work to stop and it is not an easy thing to do, especially if it is used to cope.

For most cutting is not about attention. I cut, still do and only 3 other people Iknow know about it. If it was for attention wouldn't I have told more than three? It makes me angry to ehar people say it is for attention. granted I don't ask for help, but if I had a choice I would find a way besides cutting myself.

And I understand when you feel frustrated that your efforts haven't helped your friend stop, I am sure I have disappointed my friends also. But you need to realize they are not doing it to hurt you and they aren't trying to " slap you in the face" with the action

SmEaGoL! · Oct 31, 2004

This is a serious situation and I feel for you. I sincerely suggest you see a specialist, but from a non-specialist standpoint i.e. me, I believe you cutting yourself is a kind of release of adrenaline from stress etc. - the pain is like a rapid rush from you. I suggest when feeling depressed or stressed, take a break and relax.

LegomasterJC · Oct 31, 2004

I can't believe no one has suggested giving up all your problems and pains to Jesus! These are Christian forums afterall!
You need to understand that God is bigger than all your problems and give them to Him. Let Him handle them. Give your whole life to Him and He will lead you in the way you should go. Talk to Him about all your pains and past bad experiences. Once you have that revalation that God will take care of you. You will not be worried about what you can do to cover your emotional pain with the physical because God will take that pain away.
God takes care of the flowers and the birds of the air. How much more will he take care of you who he loves dearly. I pray that this realization comes to you quickly and powerfully and that you will be able to witness to others who have this problem when you get past it.
Also let us know when you are healed of your emotional scars.

boilerblues · Oct 31, 2004

I did state that Christ would be able to heal those wounds and He is the only One that can do that. But I also know that struggles like this are usually not as easy to get over as saying a simple prayer. While God is capable, and sometimes does, instantly heal people of these kinds of things the truth is more often He takes a long time to work through these things. It's not because He doesn't care or doesn't want to instantly remove the pain. But when He works to change someone's heart He wants to make sure it's a total transformation and that's something that takes a while to work. Why I haven't totally come to an answer about, but if God just did things instantly then we would likely take Him for granted. Because this it will take a long time to work through she will need the support of a body of believers. The Church is God's body on earth that He works through. Those who are full of mercy and compassion are His healing touch to the broken and hurt. I think she would be wise to go to the pastor to talk because he can direct her to a Christian counselor (things like this may need someone who has professional experience in working through these things) and he can also get her plugged in with a church body that can support her and help her as she works through this process.

I 100% believe that Christ is the one that can heal, but that healing will likely be worked through a supporting church and a professional counselor.

Eluzai · Oct 31, 2004

I can only say two small things:
Maybe try to remember you can choose not to do it. You are in control now you have been freed by Christ.
Victory Over The Darkness by Neil Anderson its not specifically about cutting yourself, but helpped me alot with depression and negative self image.

Hope that's of some use.

Sketcher · Oct 31, 2004

all4him07 said:
First off, If someone could just stop they would. do you honestly think they enjoy cutting themselves and giving themselves scars? It takes a lot of work to stop and it is not an easy thing to do, especially if it is used to cope.

For most cutting is not about attention. I cut, still do and only 3 other people Iknow know about it. If it was for attention wouldn't I have told more than three? It makes me angry to ehar people say it is for attention. granted I don't ask for help, but if I had a choice I would find a way besides cutting myself.

And I understand when you feel frustrated that your efforts haven't helped your friend stop, I am sure I have disappointed my friends also. But you need to realize they are not doing it to hurt you and they aren't trying to " slap you in the face" with the action

I'm sorry, but having my compassion used as a bleeding post dries up my patience real quick nowadays. This friend of mine did in fact use it for attention. She'd cut, we'd try harder, and she got what she wanted. But she never stopped cutting. Furthermore, she had 1 youth pastor and at least eight solid Christians plus I don't know how many counselors trying to reach out to her but she wouldn't hear a word of it. And when she'd meet another Christian, she'd go on about how things had been, and the way she carried on to him you'd think none of the help she was getting even existed. She told these Christians newer in her life the exact same things she told me and those she knew before. With all of this just cast to the side and good, life-giving advice ignored, I along with many others lost patience. This was after she moved miles away to be with yet another abusive boyfriend.

So as you can see, I am not the one to talk to for advice. I can just tell people how much it hurts those that they love the most. And pray for them too.

penguinfacesnorth · Oct 31, 2004

twistedsketch said:
So as you can see, I am not the one to talk to for advice. I can just tell people how much it hurts those that they love the most. And pray for them too.

I understand your view, but just know that she was probably fully aware of how much it was hurting those other people.

Maybe she was telling others about her situation becasue she was hoping to find a sloution that worked, just because she went to others with it doesn't mean she didn't appreciate what you did for her or the help you tried to give to her. It may seem to you that she was pushing your attempts aside but ask her about it, you might find out that wasn't it at all. I view it as positive that she was asking others for help, it may seem like she ws disregarding your attempts but I think talking about it until she stopped was better than just kepping it all hidden. I guess I would agree with some of the previous posts and just don't see cutting as an attention thing, there are so many other ways to get it, but I could be wrong in this case.

I hope she finds the help she needs and hopefully you will continue praying for her so she can find the help she needs and stop the cutting

hazeleyes80 · Oct 31, 2004

First off, try to find a counselor that specializes in your problem. Next, look for credentials: LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor) is a good one. I don't have your problem myself, but I've taken a few counseling courses. If their only credential is "psychotherapist," and they don't have any other credentials, you should definintely think twice.

Sketcher · Oct 31, 2004

Well, she had a lot more issues than just cutting. If you ever run into someone like her, you'll know what I'm talking about. Of course, I hope God has changed her since I've last spoken with her.

penguinfacesnorth · Oct 31, 2004

jen_soccer13 said:
My room mate Crystal suggested that I talk to her pastor of her youth group. Is that a good idea?
Please if you have any advice let me know.
Thanks

/QUOTE]

The first thing you should know is that you aren't alone. I think that talking to the youth group pastor might help. From there you could get some referrals to a christian counselor. The cutting is just a coping mechanism that you need to change, there are many other ways to deal rather than cut. It may not seem like it right now, and you may think others don't understand but they do. Just keep looking for help, eventually you will find the means to stop the cutting. Also, pray. Turn it over to God and ask him to help. Good luck in finding a solution to ending the cutting

penguinfacesnorth · Oct 31, 2004

twistedsketch said:
Well, she had a lot more issues than just cutting. If you ever run into someone like her, you'll know what I'm talking about. Of course, I hope God has changed her since I've last spoken with her.

Trust me when I say most people who cut do have mroe issues than the cutting, the cutting is the way they cope, hence the reason its just not an attention thing. But i agree, hopefully she found the help that she needed

Sinless_angels · Nov 1, 2004

Pray to god - surrender all your problums that make you do it over to him!! and he'll take care of them.

God can heal all that pain, Im living proff god can heal anything.

I didnt have the same prob as you tho.. But i knw he cant fix it

jen_soccer13 said:
I have a serious problem with cutting myself. I don't know who to go to about it though. I have seen many counselors but they all say that it is all for attention. They are wrong. When I cut the physical pain makes me forget about all the emotional pain I have. I have been doing this for 6 years now but yesterday had to get 10 stitches because I cut too deep.
I know that none of you know exactly what to do but if you have any advice on who to go to for help I would appreciate it.
I am at college and my room mate is my RA and she had to report it to the hall director and they made me see 3 different counselors that told me I was just looking for attention. Now, though, if I get caught doing this anymore I could be sent home. Home is where all my pain is from though so that is the worst thing that could happen.
My room mate Crystal suggested that I talk to her pastor of her youth group. Is that a good idea?
Please if you have any advice let me know.
Thanks

*It may help you to know that the reason I cut is because I feel horrible about myself due to all the sexual and physical abuse I have had in my life...Some of it that is still going on.
I have been to many counselors, however everyone has told me that i exagerate my story
WHAT DO I DO....I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN AND FEEL SO ALONE!!!!!!

ascribe2thelord · Nov 16, 2004

boilerblues said:
I did state that Christ would be able to heal those wounds and He is the only One that can do that. But I also know that struggles like this are usually not as easy to get over as saying a simple prayer. While God is capable, and sometimes does, instantly heal people of these kinds of things the truth is more often He takes a long time to work through these things. It's not because He doesn't care or doesn't want to instantly remove the pain. But when He works to change someone's heart He wants to make sure it's a total transformation and that's something that takes a while to work. Why I haven't totally come to an answer about, but if God just did things instantly then we would likely take Him for granted. Because this it will take a long time to work through she will need the support of a body of believers. The Church is God's body on earth that He works through. Those who are full of mercy and compassion are His healing touch to the broken and hurt. I think she would be wise to go to the pastor to talk because he can direct her to a Christian counselor (things like this may need someone who has professional experience in working through these things) and he can also get her plugged in with a church body that can support her and help her as she works through this process.

I 100% believe that Christ is the one that can heal, but that healing will likely be worked through a supporting church and a professional counselor.

Amen to that.

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