Help with socialization or fellowship at Chrisitan group (college)

[mb57]

Hello, I need some guidance, because after consulting various sources for social skills overall, I just want a Christian perspective. I am 25 years old and I am a college student. I am having difficulty connecting members of my college Christian group at my college. In other words, I am having trouble gaining rapport with these people. I am not really progressing to any meaningful friendships, especially with the women in the group. One particularly woman there is religious, I really like her as she seems like she takes her faith seriously. But she is really cold and I don't know why, and it makes me really frustrated. Basically, I don't feel like I have any real fellowship with this group at all. Only two people really talk with me from the group, they were nice enough to sit with me at lunch the other day, and I made me feel pretty happy. I will be honest: In my life, while I love to socialize, it has always been difficult to make friends in adulthood as well as being in highschool. This has been a problem that I have been trying alleviate for but I am not satisfied. Even though I love to socialize, it has always been difficult for me to make friends. Loneliness is really starting to affect me emotionally from all these years, and I don't know what to do. I am considering about seeing a psychiatrist for my depression, but I can't afford a Christian one.

What should I do?

 

[HereIStand]

I find socializing in church groups to be a challenge also. Be polite and do your best to make friends. If people seem disinterested, try not take the disinterestedness to heart. Easier said than achieved, I know. God bless.

 

[salt-n-light]

Hello, I need some guidance, because after consulting various sources for social skills overall, I just want a Christian perspective. I am 25 years old and I am a college student. I am having difficulty connecting members of my college Christian group at my college. In other words, I am having trouble gaining rapport with these people. I am not really progressing to any meaningful friendships, especially with the women in the group. One particularly woman there is religious, I really like her as she seems like she takes her faith seriously. But she is really cold and I don't know why, and it makes me really frustrated. Basically, I don't feel like I have any real fellowship with this group at all. Only two people really talk with me from the group, they were nice enough to sit with me at lunch the other day, and I made me feel pretty happy. I will be honest: In my life, while I love to socialize, it has always been difficult to make friends in adulthood as well as being in highschool. This has been a problem that I have been trying alleviate for but I am not satisfied. Even though I love to socialize, it has always been difficult for me to make friends. Loneliness is really starting to affect me emotionally from all these years, and I don't know what to do. I am considering about seeing a psychiatrist for my depression, but I can't afford a Christian one.

What should I do?

Is there a counselor provided by your college campus? There's usually one you can talk you. While its part of your tuition, look for their mental health services. If there's a college chaiplain, it would be good to connect with them as well. I also would suffer from depression (although it has gone down significantly and its usually seasonal), and I find that its good to use all resources.

Also,I'm sorry to hear that you can't fellowship with everyone, but do you need everyone to like you. Despite being in the same body, it doesn't guarantee that people are actually going to push to be your friend, that's the sad reality. But its also sobering, because you do have those two that talk to you. Why not invest in that, and build those two, and take baby steps. You can also go to different events, like concerts, or volunteer work, to get a chance to talk to others as well. Your friends don't have to be the same age as you, and you're not limited to that church group, expand yourself, you can find a teenage friend, as well as an elder.

Point is, don't claim defeat so quickly. Despite any awkwardness you may have, you can still find fellowship.

 

[God bless Joshua]

Try to communicate with people via facebook or WA, share.
Give people some gifts, offer to treat them to lunch.

 

[mukk_in]

Hello, I need some guidance, because after consulting various sources for social skills overall, I just want a Christian perspective. I am 25 years old and I am a college student. I am having difficulty connecting members of my college Christian group at my college. In other words, I am having trouble gaining rapport with these people. I am not really progressing to any meaningful friendships, especially with the women in the group. One particularly woman there is religious, I really like her as she seems like she takes her faith seriously. But she is really cold and I don't know why, and it makes me really frustrated. Basically, I don't feel like I have any real fellowship with this group at all. Only two people really talk with me from the group, they were nice enough to sit with me at lunch the other day, and I made me feel pretty happy. I will be honest: In my life, while I love to socialize, it has always been difficult to make friends in adulthood as well as being in highschool. This has been a problem that I have been trying alleviate for but I am not satisfied. Even though I love to socialize, it has always been difficult for me to make friends. Loneliness is really starting to affect me emotionally from all these years, and I don't know what to do. I am considering about seeing a psychiatrist for my depression, but I can't afford a Christian one.

What should I do?

You've obviously already done this, start with prayer ("seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things (including relationships) will be added unto you."). You may also be shy and timid. Seeking help from a pastor or christian counselor may help you develop some skills. Remember, its quite possible that others are just as eager (and just as shy) to speak with and relate to you. God bless .