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Help with healing?
- Thread starter over the rainbow
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Lifewanderer,
I can only guess how much you're suffering right now. I'm sorry for that. By all means, keep reading the Bible and talking to God. My impression is that you think God will send a magic wave of relief your way, and you're scared, confused that He hasn't. He doesn't always work that way. Sometimes He sends relief by helping you sleep that night, or the phone ringing and you hearing a friend's voice on the other end, or sometimes He just keeps you company. God definitely wants you to recover from the past, but He knows it's a long process and wants you learn how to help take care of yourself too. His support and healing can come from different sources. Maybe He wants you to put the Bible down and go participate in something....volunteer at church, bake cookies and share some with a neighbor, visit a museum, call a counselor, visit an animal shelter and pet the cats and dogs. He may want to use the pain to push you forward, or curl up and rest.
So be open and aware of things that you can do to help yourself. As a child, you couldn't possibly have had the coping skills necessary to handle all of the trauma in your life. Now as an adult you are capable of learning and using some. Look around, find ways to comfort yourself. Some may be simple and small - like taking a nice shower, watching a favorite movie, treating yourself to your favorite scented body lotion. Some might involve talking with a counselor, writing a screaming hate letter to the abuser that he never sees, or volunteering at a food bank.
God wants you to know you are not a helpless child any more.
You have the power to conquer this.
If I were with you right now, and the pain was still overwhelming, and you allowed me to.....I would just sit with you and hold your hand. Or we would cry and talk together. Or go out for coffee. Or breakfast. Or take a walk. Listen to music, watch tv, mop the floor. Anything that would help you take control back from the pain.
I have no idea if this is any help at all. I hope so.
Please know I care what happens to you. And post again today, and let us know how you are doing. Don't let the abusers win (I so wish I could substitute a bad word for the word "abusers") Take action....even a small one.
And please let us know how your day goes.
Love,
LaBarre
I can only guess how much you're suffering right now. I'm sorry for that. By all means, keep reading the Bible and talking to God. My impression is that you think God will send a magic wave of relief your way, and you're scared, confused that He hasn't. He doesn't always work that way. Sometimes He sends relief by helping you sleep that night, or the phone ringing and you hearing a friend's voice on the other end, or sometimes He just keeps you company. God definitely wants you to recover from the past, but He knows it's a long process and wants you learn how to help take care of yourself too. His support and healing can come from different sources. Maybe He wants you to put the Bible down and go participate in something....volunteer at church, bake cookies and share some with a neighbor, visit a museum, call a counselor, visit an animal shelter and pet the cats and dogs. He may want to use the pain to push you forward, or curl up and rest.
So be open and aware of things that you can do to help yourself. As a child, you couldn't possibly have had the coping skills necessary to handle all of the trauma in your life. Now as an adult you are capable of learning and using some. Look around, find ways to comfort yourself. Some may be simple and small - like taking a nice shower, watching a favorite movie, treating yourself to your favorite scented body lotion. Some might involve talking with a counselor, writing a screaming hate letter to the abuser that he never sees, or volunteering at a food bank.
God wants you to know you are not a helpless child any more.
You have the power to conquer this.
If I were with you right now, and the pain was still overwhelming, and you allowed me to.....I would just sit with you and hold your hand. Or we would cry and talk together. Or go out for coffee. Or breakfast. Or take a walk. Listen to music, watch tv, mop the floor. Anything that would help you take control back from the pain.
I have no idea if this is any help at all. I hope so.
Please know I care what happens to you. And post again today, and let us know how you are doing. Don't let the abusers win (I so wish I could substitute a bad word for the word "abusers") Take action....even a small one.
And please let us know how your day goes.
Love,
LaBarre
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And you *are* growing up, sweetie.
3am is a bad time for anyone!
LaBarre is right, you can cope, and you are coping.
But it's still a journey, sweetie, so please stop beating yourself up because you're not perfect yet. You will have times when it overwhelms you... when the only prayer you can manage is 'Why, God??' And that's ok, He knows, he sees the struggle, and the growth, the effort and the exhaustion, the anger and the healing... and he takes it all and makes something very beautiful... a unique creation.
It's ok to have bad times, dear one, it really is. Even Jesus did... read his words in Gethsemane, his struggle to accept the Father's will, his loneliness when his friends couldn't stay awake to be with him...
He understands, he loves you, and he will bring you through
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Lifewanderer, it never entered my head that you were acting like a victim. I'm very sorry for anything I said that made you feel that way. My hope was that you would find a way to help control the pain when it becomes overwhelming. What you experienced last night is something all survivors go through. We all need to find a way to take at least a little control of your lives because that helps feed our determination to keep on going and fight another day.
Why be mad at yourself? You were hurt and injured by the abuser....that trauma causes pain. Bet you can't find a single survivor on this forum who hasn't spent at least one night in the same state you were in last night. There's absolutely no reason for you to be so angry at yourself for something you can't control, and didn't cause.
And actually, by posting on this website...you were taking an active part in helping yourself. That's not the action of a victim. That's someone reaching out for a resource, a possibility, a hope. That's good! I'd love for you to have even more things in your arsenal to protect yourself.
Maybe you could try being mad at the person/people who deserve it....the abuser. The pain comes from what he (or she, them) did, not from what you did, or what you are. Not your fault.
There's a reason why they call us survivors. I used to hate my counselor when he used that word; I thought it was just some politcally correct way to label us. Then I met my dear friend Amy who told me her story, and that of her three sisters. They were all sexually abused by their father and grandfather, with their mother's permission. Amy has only one sister left. The other two did choose to take their lives.
There is an inhuman amount of pain involved with this. It kicks us right in the gut. Of course we're a mess sometimes. That's not being a victim or coward. You're supposed to hurt when someone stabs you with a knife....it tells you something's wrong. You're supposed to hurt when someone attacks your safety, dignity and sense of self. Recovery is about learning to blame the right people, sharing the pain - which will eventually ease it, learning to deal with it, and then in the end - enjoying as the pain starts disappearing.
It's no small thing to be a survivor, Lifewanderer. Not everyone survives. I'm so relieved and proud of you for making it through last night, as I was truly concerned for your safety. You've won another battle. I'm sorry you don't see that yet.
We're on your side Lifewanderer. What can I do to help?
Why be mad at yourself? You were hurt and injured by the abuser....that trauma causes pain. Bet you can't find a single survivor on this forum who hasn't spent at least one night in the same state you were in last night. There's absolutely no reason for you to be so angry at yourself for something you can't control, and didn't cause.
And actually, by posting on this website...you were taking an active part in helping yourself. That's not the action of a victim. That's someone reaching out for a resource, a possibility, a hope. That's good! I'd love for you to have even more things in your arsenal to protect yourself.
Maybe you could try being mad at the person/people who deserve it....the abuser. The pain comes from what he (or she, them) did, not from what you did, or what you are. Not your fault.
There's a reason why they call us survivors. I used to hate my counselor when he used that word; I thought it was just some politcally correct way to label us. Then I met my dear friend Amy who told me her story, and that of her three sisters. They were all sexually abused by their father and grandfather, with their mother's permission. Amy has only one sister left. The other two did choose to take their lives.
There is an inhuman amount of pain involved with this. It kicks us right in the gut. Of course we're a mess sometimes. That's not being a victim or coward. You're supposed to hurt when someone stabs you with a knife....it tells you something's wrong. You're supposed to hurt when someone attacks your safety, dignity and sense of self. Recovery is about learning to blame the right people, sharing the pain - which will eventually ease it, learning to deal with it, and then in the end - enjoying as the pain starts disappearing.
It's no small thing to be a survivor, Lifewanderer. Not everyone survives. I'm so relieved and proud of you for making it through last night, as I was truly concerned for your safety. You've won another battle. I'm sorry you don't see that yet.
We're on your side Lifewanderer. What can I do to help?
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You're very welcome.
I hope you are able to get some rest. Please take care of yourself, and I hope you'll let us know how you're doing in the future.
I hope you are able to get some rest. Please take care of yourself, and I hope you'll let us know how you're doing in the future.
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- Jul 2, 2006
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I believe in you. You are such a wonderful child of God. I hope you will feel better. Praying for you.
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havana16
Active Member
lifewandere, i can tell you from experience that healing from physical and emotional abuse takes a great deal of time,,,,i was a victin of both about 14 years ago===very very severe physical abuse PTL i was rescued from that situation or i would of died at my abusers hands.
but
it takes time....continue to read the Word, prayer as much as you can and just talk witth God like Heis there with you,,,,sing songs of praise
get involved in some kind of activit that interests you and most of all just breath-----and relax,,,,it took me a while before i stopped feeling that pain but it does go away! know that God loves you more than you can ever imagine and He will carry you whenever you fall!
but
it takes time....continue to read the Word, prayer as much as you can and just talk witth God like Heis there with you,,,,sing songs of praise
get involved in some kind of activit that interests you and most of all just breath-----and relax,,,,it took me a while before i stopped feeling that pain but it does go away! know that God loves you more than you can ever imagine and He will carry you whenever you fall!
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W
willowoak
Guest
I don't have much helpful to say but please know that there is no formula to prayer and sometimes I have found it enough in hurt to simply say one word. I have prayed, "God?" and then just sat in his presence. That is a prayer. Then I can conclude by thanking God for being there. Sometimes God does seem far away but I know He is always there even when I can't feel him. How are you doing today?
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