- Jul 4, 2021
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Hi everyone,
Today has been confusing and tough,and I need wise counsel to help solve it.I’m not speaking in terms of medical,but spiritual.
So for the longest time I’ve never been absolutely certain that Jesus is the son of God or that he rose from the grave.Though I’m clear on how dire a situation it is to have that solved,I have caught myself sometimes in the past focusing on the Christian life and not the requirements.
I don’t know why,but I just want to have absolute certainty that cannot be shaken that Jesus is the son and God in the flesh and he rose from the grave.I can’t sleep at night unless I have that solved.As I type this I’m crying in guilt because I’m afraid after years of “following Jesus” I’m afraid I’m not a true Christian to begin with.
I feel especially guilty because it doesn’t seem like I trust the Bible,I say this because I sometimes to believe something the Bible says,I have to get outside clarification,which to me sounds downright unbiblical.And it scares me to my core.Like for example,when I wasn’t sure if Jesus died on the cross,I had to look up records of non Christian accounts of people from the time that recorded it,like Josephus’s account of the incident.I feel incredibly guilty and scared in doing this.
But then more confusion comes in when I’ve experienced things that I claim to be given to Gods doing.Like me repenting of inappropriate contentography (which I’m uncertain was sheer effort or of the Holy Spirit) or the life I now live than I did when I was 11-14(which I’m scared is just maturity and not of the Holy Spirit).
I cannot express how worried I am to my core right now.I don’t know why I would reject the idea and belief Jesus is God in the flesh other than the idea of “it being illogical” which scares me,and of the resurrection “How can someone be raised from the grave?”.I hate asking questions like this,and feeling this way,I just wish God would crush these “held” beliefs down and just grant me faith!!!!!!!
I’m scared as to wether I’m still a lost unbeliever,or worse an apostate.I love all things of God,but scared I’m a deceived “believer” who thinks they believe but deep down don’t,or worse an “apostate” who still wants to hang on to belief.
I’m crying as I type this because of how scared of the possibility of me still being an enemy of God,and still under condemnation.
could someone please explain the fruits of the spirit?,and what I need to do,because I need God and I’m scared because of doubts about him.
I’m not an atheist nor agnostic,and it makes me especially guilty that I was raised in a Christian family and it would hurt me more than them to realize I’m a false believer.
Everytime I say to the Lord in “just in case prayers” “I believe Jesus is your son,who died in my place for my sins,and whom you arose from the grave”,I still have doubts in that statement.like I somehow believe I didn’t say it sincerely enough also scared at the fact that I’m somehow hiding I don’t believe.
To make matters worse,I’m pounded day after day with thoughts of statements that I have seen and heard unbelievers say to me.
like the following:
“Faith in God is based around fear”
“God is imaginary”
“The Bible is a fairy tale”
etc.Please everyone,I haven’t typed a post like this in a long time,especially a one where I’m crying every second of typing.
I refuse to ever accept atheism or agnosticism because I hate them.
I desire the hope the Lord can only provide.It seems like my mind keeps wanting to go back and focus and be attentive to the opinions of the world.It’s like I worry if they are right and I don’t want them to be-or heaven forbid, the alternative to that thought-that I somehow want them to be right and the Bible wrong.Which I would never voluntarily think.
I know that by the law shall no flesh be justified,and I am in no way relying on works to save me,but I have firmly kept the 10 commandments,and obeyed the commands of Christ,even repenting of thoughts and sins.I’m very scared also as to wether I’m simply going through a “Christianity phase” of my life and very very scared as to wether I’ll simply fall away someday.I do and obey the laws Christ said so that I know I’m saved,and want to produce the fruits.
Even if the Lord is desperately trying to help me to be assured if I am indeed saved,I can’t and have a very hard time remembering and discerning if miraculous things are simply “worldly luck” or works of the heavenly Holy Spirit.
I know faith in Jesus isn’t saying a prayer nor a profession stated “once saved always saved” statement.But a long lasting faith in Jesus.I don’t believe any other religion is the path to salvation,and I have reasons to defend that only Jesus is the way.I rely and trust Jesus is the only way to God.And That no other “religion”(I prefer to say relationship)is the way.
I’m also scared as to wether I’m the only one experiencing something like this,I’m not in a state of hardened unbelief,but when I say that I doubt and worry as to wether “what if I am?!” Or “am I lying?!” Or “am I just being in denial”.That’s another thing,I’m scared I’m just an “in denial” unbeliever,that’s a big scary thing for me.
That’s mega mega scary to me,that I’m just “an in denial unbeliever” that terrifies me.A statement like this cuts me to my core worried and hopeless
I’m even further worried that I’m not convinced I’m a sinner,I acknowledge it but I don’t feel any in depth conviction I am,and I don’t feel any in depth conviction for a savior.That scares me tremendously.
i am comforted by statements I’ve read on crosswalk.com, that say “you can only doubt what you already believe” but I can’t be assured unless I get the matters of “being firm and sure in what I believe about Jesus so I know I’m saved without a doubt”
I do admit,I have found one false teaching I’ve held onto,which is soul sleep,which k acknowledged and repented of
Overall,it’s a lot I know.I just want to be saved and sure,so I don’t have to live in fear that I’m still condemned living in a “in denial,deceived”state.
Today has been confusing and tough,and I need wise counsel to help solve it.I’m not speaking in terms of medical,but spiritual.
So for the longest time I’ve never been absolutely certain that Jesus is the son of God or that he rose from the grave.Though I’m clear on how dire a situation it is to have that solved,I have caught myself sometimes in the past focusing on the Christian life and not the requirements.
I don’t know why,but I just want to have absolute certainty that cannot be shaken that Jesus is the son and God in the flesh and he rose from the grave.I can’t sleep at night unless I have that solved.As I type this I’m crying in guilt because I’m afraid after years of “following Jesus” I’m afraid I’m not a true Christian to begin with.
I feel especially guilty because it doesn’t seem like I trust the Bible,I say this because I sometimes to believe something the Bible says,I have to get outside clarification,which to me sounds downright unbiblical.And it scares me to my core.Like for example,when I wasn’t sure if Jesus died on the cross,I had to look up records of non Christian accounts of people from the time that recorded it,like Josephus’s account of the incident.I feel incredibly guilty and scared in doing this.
But then more confusion comes in when I’ve experienced things that I claim to be given to Gods doing.Like me repenting of inappropriate contentography (which I’m uncertain was sheer effort or of the Holy Spirit) or the life I now live than I did when I was 11-14(which I’m scared is just maturity and not of the Holy Spirit).
I cannot express how worried I am to my core right now.I don’t know why I would reject the idea and belief Jesus is God in the flesh other than the idea of “it being illogical” which scares me,and of the resurrection “How can someone be raised from the grave?”.I hate asking questions like this,and feeling this way,I just wish God would crush these “held” beliefs down and just grant me faith!!!!!!!
I’m scared as to wether I’m still a lost unbeliever,or worse an apostate.I love all things of God,but scared I’m a deceived “believer” who thinks they believe but deep down don’t,or worse an “apostate” who still wants to hang on to belief.
I’m crying as I type this because of how scared of the possibility of me still being an enemy of God,and still under condemnation.
could someone please explain the fruits of the spirit?,and what I need to do,because I need God and I’m scared because of doubts about him.
I’m not an atheist nor agnostic,and it makes me especially guilty that I was raised in a Christian family and it would hurt me more than them to realize I’m a false believer.
Everytime I say to the Lord in “just in case prayers” “I believe Jesus is your son,who died in my place for my sins,and whom you arose from the grave”,I still have doubts in that statement.like I somehow believe I didn’t say it sincerely enough also scared at the fact that I’m somehow hiding I don’t believe.
To make matters worse,I’m pounded day after day with thoughts of statements that I have seen and heard unbelievers say to me.
like the following:
“Faith in God is based around fear”
“God is imaginary”
“The Bible is a fairy tale”
etc.Please everyone,I haven’t typed a post like this in a long time,especially a one where I’m crying every second of typing.
I refuse to ever accept atheism or agnosticism because I hate them.
I desire the hope the Lord can only provide.It seems like my mind keeps wanting to go back and focus and be attentive to the opinions of the world.It’s like I worry if they are right and I don’t want them to be-or heaven forbid, the alternative to that thought-that I somehow want them to be right and the Bible wrong.Which I would never voluntarily think.
I know that by the law shall no flesh be justified,and I am in no way relying on works to save me,but I have firmly kept the 10 commandments,and obeyed the commands of Christ,even repenting of thoughts and sins.I’m very scared also as to wether I’m simply going through a “Christianity phase” of my life and very very scared as to wether I’ll simply fall away someday.I do and obey the laws Christ said so that I know I’m saved,and want to produce the fruits.
Even if the Lord is desperately trying to help me to be assured if I am indeed saved,I can’t and have a very hard time remembering and discerning if miraculous things are simply “worldly luck” or works of the heavenly Holy Spirit.
I know faith in Jesus isn’t saying a prayer nor a profession stated “once saved always saved” statement.But a long lasting faith in Jesus.I don’t believe any other religion is the path to salvation,and I have reasons to defend that only Jesus is the way.I rely and trust Jesus is the only way to God.And That no other “religion”(I prefer to say relationship)is the way.
I’m also scared as to wether I’m the only one experiencing something like this,I’m not in a state of hardened unbelief,but when I say that I doubt and worry as to wether “what if I am?!” Or “am I lying?!” Or “am I just being in denial”.That’s another thing,I’m scared I’m just an “in denial” unbeliever,that’s a big scary thing for me.
That’s mega mega scary to me,that I’m just “an in denial unbeliever” that terrifies me.A statement like this cuts me to my core worried and hopeless
I’m even further worried that I’m not convinced I’m a sinner,I acknowledge it but I don’t feel any in depth conviction I am,and I don’t feel any in depth conviction for a savior.That scares me tremendously.
i am comforted by statements I’ve read on crosswalk.com, that say “you can only doubt what you already believe” but I can’t be assured unless I get the matters of “being firm and sure in what I believe about Jesus so I know I’m saved without a doubt”
I do admit,I have found one false teaching I’ve held onto,which is soul sleep,which k acknowledged and repented of
Overall,it’s a lot I know.I just want to be saved and sure,so I don’t have to live in fear that I’m still condemned living in a “in denial,deceived”state.
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