Okay, so God has shown me that I am critical. Now what?
My criticism is towards other people and I would classify myself as a closet critic (meaning my friends wouldn't call me critical of others but my spouse and I would).
I am mostly critical of my husband, certain family members or when someone does something that I deem as unacceptable. My problem with criticism is this:
1. It is hurting my marriage. Often the first thing I share with my husband about a daily experience is how "I couldn't believe so and so was doing such and such". Who cares? HE doesn't want to hear about it.
I am very critical of him which I hate. Every now and then God exposes this facet of my character to me and it makes me cringe.
2. It is hurting my walk with God. I am basically mis-representing God to my non-Christian friends (esentially all of my friends). I think some of them might think "YOU are Christian?". I want my life to be an example for others to follow ultimately bringing them to faith.
So Advice that I am looking for:
Your thought and or experiences
Direction, what now?
Help
I'll try to give some thoughts (I am not trying to be harsh, but only trying to make you "knock some sense into your soul" since you said you WANT TO, but can't):
First, whatever God says in the Bible IS the truth. The reason we sometimes don't believe it is becasue we are BLIND and IGNORANT and stupid. So the best advice is to BELIEVE what God says and not to rely on our own understanding of things (Proverbs 3:5)
So here is what God says: that whenever you think that somebody is doing something not quite right, it's often a fact that whatever YOU ARE DOING is MORE not right.
So whenever you are NOT doing right (and believe me, we ALL not do right at certain times) do you want the people to judge you for it? Do you want GOD to judge you for it? He is looking at your cruel heart: how you always critize and do you then go and expect MERCY from HIM? God said: I will be cruel to those who are cruel. Mercy will be shown to those who show mercy. If you don't show mercy (in your thinking), God will start to withhold HIS mercy from you. And what is going to happen then? How many times a day do YOU do something that is not quite right in God's eyes? Do you think God was joking when he said: OR YOU TOO WILL BE JUDGED. Do you want to be judged by God? Look at your soul, compare it to the Bible. You are perfect? If not, there is plenty that God can judge you for.
MAT 7:1 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
4 How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
LUK 6:37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
One lady told me: this guy talks your head off. And guess what: SHE HERSELF was that way. And did she know it? NO! Because she is ignorant and stupid (like most of us). We only THINK we know what's best. We only think we know what that other person should do. But do we really know the circustamcnes or the condition of the person's heart or motivation behind it? How DARE WE JUDGE when we don't know nothing!
Keep track of things you want to critizise others for and COUNT how many times you DID the SAME THING. (I was really amazed when I started to count how many times I did the same thing. And I realized that the Bible was true, that I DID do the same thing for which I judged others).
ROM 2:1 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.
Did you KNOW that each time you judge somebody you are CONDEMING yourself? How I know? The Bible said it. And it's the truth. And if we don't think it's true, that means we are still stupid.
When you critisize others, you think you know what's best. Which is not true. We, as people are very ignorant and very short sighted. Whenever you critize somebody, you are speaking ignorance. God has been giving me wisdom and the more He gives, the more I start to see how BAD of a judges we are. HOW INCORRECTLY we judge others.
You can even judge somebody for not being friendly. But did you know that the only reason you yourself are friendly is because God gave you that gift? Where would YOU be if you did not have that gift? Why do you think everybody should be like YOU? Why do you think everybody should behave LIKE YOU? Are you the MODEL for all to live BY? Are you PERFECT that everybody should do like you do?
People have different ideas of what's good and what's bad, what's acceptable or what's not. Who put YOU in charge of deciding for all humanity the rules to live by? Just because you like to live this way, doesn't mean the others would agree with you. Why should they? They might have their OWN way of living, which is NOT like yours. And it's OK. God gave us all diffferent gifts and different ways of looking at life and different ways of behaving. We cannot expect somebody else to live OUR life, the way WE live or to think the way WE think.
Hopefully, some of it will be helpful. Hopefully you won't get offended. But even if you do, it's ok AS LONG AS IT HELPS YOU. Like Paul wrote in one of his letters, I did not want to make you sad, but if it helped you to get right with God, then I am glad I did it. Sometimes bitter mecidine is necessary to treat that cancer that's within us.
And I don't judge you. I have learned that we all have our own personal things we struggle with. I feel sorry for you. Critisizim is a hard one to struggle with. But God will help you. It says: if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. God has a way of setting us free from the bondage of our sinful nature and sinful character.
God bless you and I hope you will "Get better soon"
With love in Christ
