Hey guys. Me and my gf of over a decade broke up a few weeks ago and im riddled with guilt,regret,major anxiety,panic attacks,nervousness, u name it.
You are in severe pain and your heart aches beyond understanding. It is said that two things hurt the most when a relationship is lost that spans a decade or more.
1- It's like a part of you feels dead. When you build a life with someone, it's like a third person is being created between the two of you. When the relationship sours, both of you experience the death of that person. You are in grieving. Don't deny this. You have experienced the death of someone close to you in a very real way! Look into the grieving process.
2- All of the plans that you had with her are now dead dreams and hopes. That is experiencing death times 2.
I didn't put a ring on her finger is the primary reason she left me.
This is good for closure. You have a reason! Sometimes relationships end without a reason and closure is nowhere to be found. That said, it also stinks, because now you are left with coulda shoulda woulda's that the human mind is most adept at punishing it's owner with!
At this point im questioning why i was unable to commit, feeling the guilt, the pain of seeing her with another guy is insane.
I'm all about the personal responsibility aspect of all of this, but a ring on a finger isn't a magical object that makes everything better. The fact that she jumped into another relationship is on her, not you.
Ask yourself this ONE very important question. Is she doing this to make you jealous enough to Propose? Then, ask yourself if the pain of seeing your gal of 10 years in another relationship is a sign of someone you wanted to propose to in the first place.
You gave her 10 years. Why did she get into another relationship? Self Gratification or to kick you in the tail for not proposing? 10 years of being faithful to one another is pretty serious. What is your synopsis on this?
People in my circle say things like “trust God, let go” etc. and things like “yall werent meant to be, we all saw it”. But in my mind i feel like i just screwed up.
It's easy to give basic advice when it's not "your" heart (Soul) that feels like it's perpetually crying!
Im 43. I feel likethat was my one chance at love and i blew it. Anyone have any helpful advice?
The fish in the sea comment may seem lame, but it's so true that it's sad! You have some matters to work out between you and God! No woman needs to compete for first place in your heart against an "Ex". You have to get to the place of self sufficiency, with God at the center of your universe, before you should get back on that horse (Metaphorically speaking).
