Help To Come Back To God

[Gio1873]

Hi guys

One very confused ex Christian here. This is kind of a long read, so I'll apologise in advance.

I'm 22 now, and back in the days of High School I always considered myself to be a Christian. I attended Church with my grandmother now and again, I always attended the schools Scripture Union, and I took part in Christian orientated weekends away with the school as well.

At least thats what I thought. My grandmother died 4 years ago yesterday, but when she died I decided there and then that I wouldn't be following the Christian lifestyle anymore. In my head I was asking "Why should I? I'm a good kid, and God has taken my grandmother. What did I do to deserve this?" I don't know if I stopped believing, or I was being rebellious, but either way I fell out of touch with my faith, and with God.

I know now that was a stupid, childish thing to have done. The problem is that I don't get the same feeling anymore that I used to. I thought I had come back to God on numerous occasions. Before I went off the rails I always had this feeling that God was with me, and He would never leave me. When I did something wrong I immediately thought "Oh dear, God will be disappointed."

Now, I don't have any feeling at all. I don't feel like God is there, I don't feel like he's listening, and how could He leave me if He isn't there in the first place? When I do something wrong, God dosn't even cross my mind. Something will hit me later and I'll think "Oh dear." But usually when I'm falling asleep or something.

Trying to get back into Christianity has made me realise how far behind my friends I am as well. They can have deep Biblical conversations, and I won't have the first clue what they are on about.

The bottom line is that I feel like an awful person, and just want things to be how they were before.

I have registered to this forum seeking help in my journey to find God again.

Can anyone offer any tips as to what I'm doing wrong?

Thank you in advance.

 

[ephraimanesti]

I have registered to this forum seeking help in my journey to find God again.

Can anyone offer any tips as to what I'm doing wrong?

Thank you in advance.

MY BROTHER,

i believe--from my personal experience with similar feelings--that the mistake you are making is to greatly underestimate God's Love for you and His overwhelming joy at the prospect of the Prodigal Son--YOU--returning home.

Might i suggest that you read HE LOVES ME by Wayne Jacobsen. i think it will clear up, once and for all, your misconception of God and His feelings for you.

The first edition of the book is available as a free download at:

http://lifestream.org/helovesme/index.html

Just click on HE LOVES ME under "Wayne's Books" and then on FREE FIRST EDITION on the left-hand column under the picture of the book.

ENJOY!

A BOND-SLAVE/FRIEND/BROTHER OF OUR LORD/GOD/SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST,
ephraim

 

[hlaltimus]

You are not the only one who has "had it", then "lost it", and then seek to "find it" again as far as the christian experience goes, and I am one of them. I don't believe though that a person who is truly regenerate and born of God's Spirit can loose such a full salvation transformation, but it is possible to be the subject of a work of the Holy Spirit short of this salvation only to be truly converted or "born again" at a later date. When a person is "born again", they very really but spiritually receiving an entirely new and different "life" within them, independent of the "soul life" that they always had and still do. I think that this new life within is really the Holy Spirit of God indwelling our spirit faculty, and stands in comparison to the conscious life that you call "me" or your personality which is resident within the faculty of your soul. When the Holy Spirit indwells a true believer he implants "the divine nature", (as Peter termed it,) within your regenerate human spirit faculty, and this new nature reflects the character of Christ, who in turn manifests the character of His and now your reconciled heavenly Father. Since such a born again believer has new and godly desires, thoughts or ambitions that are those of Christ, for him to utterly abandon this new nature is contrary to the very demands of nature. Why would you leave that or him whom you now love according to the dictates of a new godly nature? You wouldn't. When someone falls away from an experience in grace, it is a shallow experience in God's grace that they fall away from, short of this major and new transformation and indwelling of the Holy Spirit of God and his attendant "divine nature". It sounds to me like you merely lost a "being religious" experience and also possibly some of the introductory efforts of the Holy Spirit to "convict of sin, righteousness and judgement". It is very easy for such a shallow so called "salvation" experience to happen in our day due to the large emphasis that is pressed through "easy believism", or ritualism where some think that Jesus was actually received into them strictly through the Lord's supper or the ordinance of baptism. You get and hold this precious Lord through faith alone, but faith is a gift of God and He does not bestow it upon the absolutely impenitant soul who refuses to part with sin for Christ. That is why even though the doctrine of pardon and justification are dependent upon faith alone, the gospel call is to "repent and believe". Ransack sin out of your life wholesale, then ask God to impart into you saving faith and He will. You will then see the vast difference between a "faith" of human origin and the justifying faith that is wrought in you by the Holy Spirit. The later will bring you into the Real McCoy that will keep you moving along towards glory in spite of everything that hell can throw at you.

 

[ArteestX]

...when she died I decided there and then that I wouldn't be following the Christian lifestyle anymore. In my head I was asking "Why should I? I'm a good kid, and God has taken my grandmother. What did I do to deserve this?"

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like an awful thing to go through, and I'm sorry you had such a difficult time in your life. I will admit up front that I'm atheist. But I don't think God, if there is a God, punishes people by making people they love die, making people suffer, etc. But I know that doesn't diminish the disappointment and pain. And I'm sorry.

The bottom line is that I feel like an awful person, and just want things to be how they were before.

Things will never be as they were before. You are a constantly changing person, you are not the same person today as you were yesterday. When you fall in love with someone, it's not the same as the previous time you fell in love. Every new experience you have alters who you are. You change all the time, and there's nothing wrong with that. The quest isn't to make things the same as before, the quest is to experience new things as they happen and incorporate them into what you have learned and experienced before. You are not a static person. You are constantly growing, so embrace that.

....I always attended the schools Scripture Union, and I took part in Christian orientated weekends away with the school as well.

When married people have difficulty, one strategy is for each person to remind themselves why they fell in love with the person to begin with. So think back to the time you considered yourself Christian. What did you like about it? What things did you look forward to? If you enjoyed being Christian, why did you? Answer those questions and maybe you'll find your way back. Good luck to you.

 

[Stephen Kendall]

Dear Gio1873,

Read the New Testament constantly each day, pray often for unselfish reasons and when you feel you have something to speak up with for others from God, so do with joy. Also read "Tortured for Christ" by Richard Wurmbrand found at the voice of the martyrs website (free book) http://www.persecution.com/ . It wouldn't hurt to check out what you truly believe in (Christian history & its theologies). Follow Christ alone without much of Christendom's theologies. The Holy Spirit will give you your unique point of view to share with others. Why do we have such unique point of views, each of us? It is our place within the body of Christ. Now, I sound confusing, sorry.

You get what you put into it. Just like college. If you find yourself an A student, you most likely are enjoying your studies, though it is hard to be there.

Welcome back. May God bless you and keep you unto himself. The lost of a loved one is most amazingly painful. Saying good bye makes no sense when one believes in God, but as mortals, we must let go. It is very good that you loved your grandmother so. The depth of our love isn't known until tested by lost. We must know that our place is just behind the ones that we lost; we are so close to going as well. Trusting God is to welcome him in courage to do his will in our lives. To extend our faith in believing him through the words and heart of Christ only warms us up to the fact that we must live for him and be ready to go. Stand up for your faith by checking out what you truly believe in and diligently discover the heart of God through his son, Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit will show you things. Hey, the best thing of all is to take Jesus on his word and obey his Gospel for us. Love you brother.

 

[Bible2]

Gio1873 posted in message #1 of this thread:

Hi guys

Hi.

Gio1873 posted in message #1 of this thread:

I don't get the same feeling anymore that I used to.

We can't always go by feelings. Faith isn't a feeling, but the belief
that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God (John 20:31), and that he
died on the Cross for our sins and rose from the dead on the third
day (1 Corinthians 15:1-4).

Gio1873 posted in message #1 of this thread:

When I do something wrong, God dosn't even cross my mind.

The way to strengthen our conscience and fill our minds with
thoughts of God is to read the Bible (2 Timothy 3:15-16, Hebrews
4:12-13, Isaiah 55:6-13).

Pray and ask Jesus to reveal to you the spiritual work that he has
given you as an individual to do (Mark 13:34). Then, as you do
this work every day (Luke 9:23), you will grow closer to Jesus
(John 12:26). Ultimately, the only way to have a real relationship
with Jesus and God the Father is to obey them (John 15:14, John
14:21-24, Matthew 7:21, Hebrews 5:9).

 

[Emmy]

Dear Gio1893. You had many replies, enough to make you think. All God wants from you is to 1) Love God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. That should come quite easy, when you remember that God made us in His image, that Jesus died for us, and that we are reconciled to God. 2) Love our neighbour, i.e. all we know and all we meet, AS we love ourselves. That is not too easy, but you can start to treat all you know, and all you meet, As you would like to be treated. Jesus will give you His Love, Joy and Peace, to share with each other. Ask and you will receive," that is a promise to us. Just try it, Gio, you will find that life becomes more enjoyble, more exciting and filled with life`s Joy, never boring or lonely. But to have life like this, you have to try to smile and be friendly. Let your friendliness and kindness shine in your face. Even if you think that is not you, try and see, let God lead you. I say this humbly and with love. Greetings from Emmy, sister in Christ. P. S. remember, we have years to learn, we have Jesus to help and guide us, and we have God to forgive us, each time we fail or stumble. God will always forgive us, as we forgive others. " Ask and Receive with thanks.

 

[Bro_Sam]

Hi guys

One very confused ex Christian here. This is kind of a long read, so I'll apologise in advance.

I'm 22 now, and back in the days of High School I always considered myself to be a Christian. I attended Church with my grandmother now and again, I always attended the schools Scripture Union, and I took part in Christian orientated weekends away with the school as well.

At least thats what I thought. My grandmother died 4 years ago yesterday, but when she died I decided there and then that I wouldn't be following the Christian lifestyle anymore. In my head I was asking "Why should I? I'm a good kid, and God has taken my grandmother. What did I do to deserve this?" I don't know if I stopped believing, or I was being rebellious, but either way I fell out of touch with my faith, and with God.

I know now that was a stupid, childish thing to have done. The problem is that I don't get the same feeling anymore that I used to. I thought I had come back to God on numerous occasions. Before I went off the rails I always had this feeling that God was with me, and He would never leave me. When I did something wrong I immediately thought "Oh dear, God will be disappointed."

Now, I don't have any feeling at all. I don't feel like God is there, I don't feel like he's listening, and how could He leave me if He isn't there in the first place? When I do something wrong, God dosn't even cross my mind. Something will hit me later and I'll think "Oh dear." But usually when I'm falling asleep or something.

Trying to get back into Christianity has made me realise how far behind my friends I am as well. They can have deep Biblical conversations, and I won't have the first clue what they are on about.

The bottom line is that I feel like an awful person, and just want things to be how they were before.

I have registered to this forum seeking help in my journey to find God again.

Can anyone offer any tips as to what I'm doing wrong?

Thank you in advance.

You say you attended church and that you tried to live a "Christian lifestyle", whatever that is, but are you born again?

If you were to die today, would you go to Heaven or Hell? Why?

 

[salida]

Just pray and ask God into your heart again. Then starting praying, reading the bible and surround yourself with other true christians that are inspirational.

 

[Bro_Sam]

Just pray and ask God into your heart again. Then starting praying, reading the bible and surround yourself with other true christians that are inspirational.

What verse is that? What if he's not saved? Shouldn't he be born again?

 

[raz!]

I was similar to you
I was rather 'religous' as a child...i even wanted to be a nun

however, when i got a bit older, i was bullied in school and just generally had an awful time. i ended up self harming, trying to commit suicide and was on a variety of anti-depressions...this led to me losing God in my life...i let Him slip away


i cant really remember what made me get my faith back, but i was exploring my faith more. i had always been brought up catholic as a child and knew nothing about other denominations etc...however i stumbled across a baptist worship service where i found amazing music...not the usual catholic hymns...and its finding these different services, different christians and definitely the uplifting music that made me feel God in my heart again.


so, maybe you just need to explore your faith more? trying different churches...finding new ways to worship...finding different ways to study the bible...you WILL feel Christ in your life again...


and now ive felt the overpowering love of God i will never turn away from Him again, and i know you will feel the same

you can't beat this feeling!

 

[Gio1873]

Hi guys

I havn't been able to come on for a while, but I just wanted to leave a post of thanks for your help.

I have taken some of the advice on board, and have started reading more into my faith again, and making time for God. It still isn't as much as I would like, but better than before.

To answer the question of an above poster, I THINK I am born again. That was my problem. I didn't feel like I was despite asking for God's forgiveness.

Thanks again guys. Hopefully I'll be on the boards a bit more often now, and I'm looking forward to some interesting conversations with you all.

Thank you.

 

[aiki]

Hi guys

One very confused ex Christian here. This is kind of a long read, so I'll apologise in advance.

I'm 22 now, and back in the days of High School I always considered myself to be a Christian. I attended Church with my grandmother now and again, I always attended the schools Scripture Union, and I took part in Christian orientated weekends away with the school as well.

Um, none of these things makes you a Christian...

At least thats what I thought. My grandmother died 4 years ago yesterday, but when she died I decided there and then that I wouldn't be following the Christian lifestyle anymore. In my head I was asking "Why should I? I'm a good kid, and God has taken my grandmother. What did I do to deserve this?" I don't know if I stopped believing, or I was being rebellious, but either way I fell out of touch with my faith, and with God.

Well, this is pretty telling, I think. The Bible says that when one is in a genuine, healthy relationship with God that it is fulfilling, and rich, and delightful. From such a relationship people don't simply walk away. When one is really fellowshiping with God there is joy, and peace, and contentment that cannot be found anywhere else. Such a thing is not so quickly discarded. That you were able to abandon your "faith" with such ease suggests to me that you never actually had a true relationship with God.

I know now that was a stupid, childish thing to have done. The problem is that I don't get the same feeling anymore that I used to. I thought I had come back to God on numerous occasions. Before I went off the rails I always had this feeling that God was with me, and He would never leave me. When I did something wrong I immediately thought "Oh dear, God will be disappointed."

Yes, I'm sure He was disappointed.

The Bible says that Christians "walk by faith, not by sight" (or, at least, they should). Some Christians use strong feelings as a way to validate what they claim to believe. But God no where in His Word says that our feelings are the basis upon which we believe. Feelings are too changeable, too susceptible to the influence of circumstances to be a stable, trustworthy basis for faith. Indeed, those Christian who operate this way lose all stability spiritually when their spiritual "feelings" decline in strength. They neurotically chase after anything they think might foster a spiritual "high." Often, they fall away from the faith because they were not truly rooted in Christ, but in emotional experience.

Now, I don't have any feeling at all. I don't feel like God is there, I don't feel like he's listening, and how could He leave me if He isn't there in the first place? When I do something wrong, God dosn't even cross my mind. Something will hit me later and I'll think "Oh dear." But usually when I'm falling asleep or something.

The Bible tells us that when God's Holy Spirit lives within one, which is what happens when one is "born again," one will be convicted by Him about those things one does that are sinful. At the same time, when one sins as a Christian one's fellowship with God is broken. The absence of that sweet fellowship with one's Maker is a further strong provocation to confess sin as it occurs. Consequently, a genuine Christian cannot live comfortably with sin; for it instantly produces strong conviction and a keen sense of the loss of fellowship with God. If this doesn't happen with you, what do you think this suggests?

Trying to get back into Christianity has made me realise how far behind my friends I am as well. They can have deep Biblical conversations, and I won't have the first clue what they are on about.

The bottom line is that I feel like an awful person, and just want things to be how they were before.

I have registered to this forum seeking help in my journey to find God again.

Can anyone offer any tips as to what I'm doing wrong?

God is looking for a love relationship with you; He wants you to be in love with Him. How does this love develop? The Bible tells us:

"And hope makes not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." Rom. 5:5

God imparts His love to us. It is not something we must work up from within ourselves. We are too much in love with ourselves to love God as we ought. He must give us His love.

"We love him, because he first loved us." 1 John 4:19

God intends for us to love Him as a result of experiencing and understanding His love for us. When we see the "breadth, and length, and depth and height" of His love toward us we will be "filled with all the fullness of God." (Eph. 3:18, 19)

"Wherefore I say unto you, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little." Luke 7:47

Did you get that last part? Christ wasn't saying that there are some who need less forgiveness; he was saying that there are those who think they don't. Such people will never love him as powerfully as the woman to whom Christ was referring in the verse above loved him. She understood the depths of her sin and her heart swelled with thankfulness and love to Christ who was soon to pay the price for all of her wickedness. She was humble enough to acknowledge that her heart was as God says the heart of every man is: "deceitful above all things and desperately wicked..." (Jer. 17:9) And she was brought to tears at the thought that, in spite of her utter unworthiness, Christ would still die for her.

If you don't see the terrible need of a Saviour that you have; if you think you aren't too bad and God's really getting a good deal when He gets you; if you believe faith in Christ will only make you a little better than you were before, then you will never love God, or understand His love for you, as you should. And without this love basis for your life as a Christian, all that you do as far as Bible reading, and prayer, and church attendance is mere ritual and duty and quite distasteful to God. He wants from you above all that you love Him, and that all you do as His child arises out of that love.

Peace.

 

[freeport]

Hi guys

One very confused ex Christian here. This is kind of a long read, so I'll apologise in advance.

I'm 22 now, and back in the days of High School I always considered myself to be a Christian. I attended Church with my grandmother now and again, I always attended the schools Scripture Union, and I took part in Christian orientated weekends away with the school as well.

At least thats what I thought. My grandmother died 4 years ago yesterday, but when she died I decided there and then that I wouldn't be following the Christian lifestyle anymore. In my head I was asking "Why should I? I'm a good kid, and God has taken my grandmother. What did I do to deserve this?" I don't know if I stopped believing, or I was being rebellious, but either way I fell out of touch with my faith, and with God.

I know now that was a stupid, childish thing to have done. The problem is that I don't get the same feeling anymore that I used to. I thought I had come back to God on numerous occasions. Before I went off the rails I always had this feeling that God was with me, and He would never leave me. When I did something wrong I immediately thought "Oh dear, God will be disappointed."

Now, I don't have any feeling at all. I don't feel like God is there, I don't feel like he's listening, and how could He leave me if He isn't there in the first place? When I do something wrong, God dosn't even cross my mind. Something will hit me later and I'll think "Oh dear." But usually when I'm falling asleep or something.

Trying to get back into Christianity has made me realise how far behind my friends I am as well. They can have deep Biblical conversations, and I won't have the first clue what they are on about.

The bottom line is that I feel like an awful person, and just want things to be how they were before.

I have registered to this forum seeking help in my journey to find God again.

Can anyone offer any tips as to what I'm doing wrong?

Thank you in advance.

Someone had a good signature tonight: "It is not a religion, it is a relationship".

I wouldn't get into God to make friends, but to make a friend in God. God is the only One who is always there and really loves you like no one else can.

The faith is about that relationship with God in your heart. If you forget that, you will never be satisfied.

So, turn to Scripture, first, the Gospels. John is my person favorite.

Take the words of Jesus personally and throw out anything anyone has told you. Hear them as though he is talking to you and is right there, listening.

We do not have to go anywhere to find God: not across the oceans, nor up to the heavens, Scripture reminds us, for God is on our tongues and in our hearts.

Strive to work with the Holy Spirit and stay away from sin so God can bless you in your relationship with Him. Consider God as your Father. And Jesus as your Teacher.

Listen carefully to what Jesus has to say.