help my life has been continuously terrible

[Floodland]

nothing has gone well since before last year and do not know if I can go on anymore. I have pretty bad ptsd and anxiety and depression and insomnia which have kept me living in isolation for several years before I had started to believe in God and still do not have many opportunities to spend time with anyone. most people seem only interested in spending time with their usual crews and it is really hard when you are nobodys best friend. also with being very socially awkward it does not help and I can tell that many people are uncomfortable having me around. there has not really been anyone who has strongly been there for me during the worst time of my life and God does not answer any of my prayers either leaving me super lonely and stressed out. starting to think that things will never get better and that God does not want to do anything to help me. even when praying for others and trying hard to be caring it still does not seem to get anywhere for the most part. I am permanently stuck not being able to work because of the ptsd and panic attacks and insomnia and have lived with either parent now for a long time. had considered trying to work this one job with someone I kind of know but then the pandemic happened and have not been able to since they are not hiring. I cannot work in crowds or in a constant social setting as it is a trigger for my ptsd related issues. had been trying to hold out and trust in and pray to God but lately it seems like no use and as if there is no way of coping anymore. starting early last year my grandmother died and it was obviously pretty upsetting and miss her and feel guilty that I had not seen her that many times in her last couple of years. my dad and his wife had come back from working out of state and her with a severe alcohol addiction immediately began to regularly scream and fight at home and verbally abuse my dad and I which kept getting worse throughout the year. they had brought a real nasty cold which I caught and ended up being super sick for the entire month of february. my pet ended up being killed outside and was a devastating event that resulted in more grieving. then I caught another very nasty cold and was out sick for the entire month of april when I had hardly recovered from the last one and since then I permanently have dry nose pain and a persisting cough to this day. not much later someone had egged our house and then our family dog died which was extremely upsetting and at this point it was starting to become too much while the tension at home kept building with all the drunk fighting going on. a little while later my brother had finally had enough and had to move away and have missed him a lot ever since not getting to see him often and started to feel even more alone. christmas was then the loneliest one ever and had no one to spend it with and was completely alone. the problems at home started to get completely out of control up to and during the whole pandemic thing now and dads wife nearly drowned her very young grandkids in the bath by leaving them and passing out drunk and shortly after she had pulled a knife on my dad and attempted to harm him. she will not stop making us all miserable by stealing and drinking tons of alcohol and somehow obtaining several drugs and gets angry and screams throughout all hours of the day and night sometimes at us or at hallucinations. she started also to bang on my door and scream go kill yourself while I hide locked up in my room having to call 911 and they did nothing to actually help either. been needing a way out of this so was going to try to work with the person I kind of know to be able to make money to move out but the pandemic has been making everything worse and cannot even go to church service and groups or bible study anymore. the isolation is killing me and it could not have come at a worse time than this. a couple of days ago I was out riding my longboard for exercise and got hit by a car leaving me very injured and not able to move well. they came around real quick by a corner with trees in the way and could not see and they were busy texting and plowed right into me about 30mph and having to spend all night in the ER and have just been crying at this point. starting to think that maybe God does not care about me and been having thoughts of giving up on life. please I need help am totally miserable every single day now. even through all this there is still no one who will even visit while in so much pain both inside and out and not so sure I want to believe in Jesus anymore

 

[Sabertooth]

not so sure I want to believe in Jesus anymore

"Then Jesus said to the twelve,
'Do you also want to go away?'

But Simon Peter answered Him,
'Lord, to whom shall we go?
You have the words of eternal life.
Also we have come to believe and know that You are the Christ,
the Son of the living God.' ” John 6:67-69 NKJV

Where Could I Go But to The Lord?

 

[sea5763]

nvm

 

[Tempura]

Dear brother, do not lose hope. In multiple sufferings, like the ones you're going through, you will get strengthened through them. People often fail us, we fail ourselves, we fail even God, but God will not fail us, and He will not fail you.

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Jesus has overcome all of these things, He didn't need to overcome anything for Himself, but for you. So when we suffer, we can get comfort from this. All of these things will pass away, and you will be given victory over them in Christ.

He will not stop loving you:

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Sometimes we just have to persevere. So we do just that. And when we think we are the weakest we have ever been, we can remember that in our weakness His strength is perfect. When we think we don't have faith, hope, patience, strength anymore, that's when we're using them the most. Like muscles that tear from the strain, we think we're falling apart and it's so hard, so hard to see the strength we can have in the future. So hard to see the patience, hope and all good things that will get stronger in us. We don't see it, but it's there, just like the Spirit who prays and intercedes on our behalf with wordless groans. So many of our brothers and sisters suffer too, we can see we are not alone.

If you want to talk to people, you always have us. We are clearly told to be there for one another, to weep with the ones who weep, carry each other's burdens and love like Christ. You can PM me if you want, anytime, and there are so many other brothers and sisters here too!

Also, please, if you are afraid of doing something to yourself, get yourself into professional care. Get whatever help you can. I've needed it, often. There were times when I was sure I couldn't live anymore. I was so broken. But I'm here now.

You are loved. No matter what you feel, no matter how hard it is, no matter if you can't see that. You are loved. Praying for you brother, Christ be with you.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

nothing has gone well since before last year and do not know if I can go on anymore. I have pretty bad ptsd and anxiety and depression and insomnia which have kept me living in isolation for several years before I had started to believe in God and still do not have many opportunities to spend time with anyone. most people seem only interested in spending time with their usual crews and it is really hard when you are nobodys best friend. also with being very socially awkward it does not help and I can tell that many people are uncomfortable having me around. there has not really been anyone who has strongly been there for me during the worst time of my life and God does not answer any of my prayers either leaving me super lonely and stressed out. starting to think that things will never get better and that God does not want to do anything to help me. even when praying for others and trying hard to be caring it still does not seem to get anywhere for the most part. I am permanently stuck not being able to work because of the ptsd and panic attacks and insomnia and have lived with either parent now for a long time. had considered trying to work this one job with someone I kind of know but then the pandemic happened and have not been able to since they are not hiring. I cannot work in crowds or in a constant social setting as it is a trigger for my ptsd related issues. had been trying to hold out and trust in and pray to God but lately it seems like no use and as if there is no way of coping anymore. starting early last year my grandmother died and it was obviously pretty upsetting and miss her and feel guilty that I had not seen her that many times in her last couple of years. my dad and his wife had come back from working out of state and her with a severe alcohol addiction immediately began to regularly scream and fight at home and verbally abuse my dad and I which kept getting worse throughout the year. they had brought a real nasty cold which I caught and ended up being super sick for the entire month of february. my pet ended up being killed outside and was a devastating event that resulted in more grieving. then I caught another very nasty cold and was out sick for the entire month of april when I had hardly recovered from the last one and since then I permanently have dry nose pain and a persisting cough to this day. not much later someone had egged our house and then our family dog died which was extremely upsetting and at this point it was starting to become too much while the tension at home kept building with all the drunk fighting going on. a little while later my brother had finally had enough and had to move away and have missed him a lot ever since not getting to see him often and started to feel even more alone. christmas was then the loneliest one ever and had no one to spend it with and was completely alone. the problems at home started to get completely out of control up to and during the whole pandemic thing now and dads wife nearly drowned her very young grandkids in the bath by leaving them and passing out drunk and shortly after she had pulled a knife on my dad and attempted to harm him. she will not stop making us all miserable by stealing and drinking tons of alcohol and somehow obtaining several drugs and gets angry and screams throughout all hours of the day and night sometimes at us or at hallucinations. she started also to bang on my door and scream go kill yourself while I hide locked up in my room having to call 911 and they did nothing to actually help either. been needing a way out of this so was going to try to work with the person I kind of know to be able to make money to move out but the pandemic has been making everything worse and cannot even go to church service and groups or bible study anymore. the isolation is killing me and it could not have come at a worse time than this. a couple of days ago I was out riding my longboard for exercise and got hit by a car leaving me very injured and not able to move well. they came around real quick by a corner with trees in the way and could not see and they were busy texting and plowed right into me about 30mph and having to spend all night in the ER and have just been crying at this point. starting to think that maybe God does not care about me and been having thoughts of giving up on life. please I need help am totally miserable every single day now. even through all this there is still no one who will even visit while in so much pain both inside and out and not so sure I want to believe in Jesus anymore

Not sure where you live but,
I would like to be your friend.
M

 

[Favoredclay]

I will put this very simply......You need to get professional help, now! Even this site has a link to counseling. I say to everyone else, please pray for Floodland, but lets not overwhelm with scripture. Floodland needs loved and supported. He/She has some issues to work out and I doubt many of us are qualified to offer proper assistance on an internet forum. We have no way to verify anything and most likely have no way to offer real time help. Floodland, you need help personally in person. I wonder if you have already been in treatment and what happened. If you haven't you need to call your local mental health center, NOW!!!

We can and will pray for you, but you are going to have to do more than post on a forum. I know it's a way of making a plea, but it's also one you think you can control. God does love you, but you have to accept his Love and take some responsible actions yourself. There are no easy answers and it's hard to get out of bad situations, but again I doubt that you will find resolution on a forum. Please seek professional help....

 

[Dan1988]

nothing has gone well since before last year and do not know if I can go on anymore. I have pretty bad ptsd and anxiety and depression and insomnia which have kept me living in isolation for several years before I had started to believe in God and still do not have many opportunities to spend time with anyone. most people seem only interested in spending time with their usual crews and it is really hard when you are nobodys best friend. also with being very socially awkward it does not help and I can tell that many people are uncomfortable having me around. there has not really been anyone who has strongly been there for me during the worst time of my life and God does not answer any of my prayers either leaving me super lonely and stressed out. starting to think that things will never get better and that God does not want to do anything to help me. even when praying for others and trying hard to be caring it still does not seem to get anywhere for the most part. I am permanently stuck not being able to work because of the ptsd and panic attacks and insomnia and have lived with either parent now for a long time. had considered trying to work this one job with someone I kind of know but then the pandemic happened and have not been able to since they are not hiring. I cannot work in crowds or in a constant social setting as it is a trigger for my ptsd related issues. had been trying to hold out and trust in and pray to God but lately it seems like no use and as if there is no way of coping anymore. starting early last year my grandmother died and it was obviously pretty upsetting and miss her and feel guilty that I had not seen her that many times in her last couple of years. my dad and his wife had come back from working out of state and her with a severe alcohol addiction immediately began to regularly scream and fight at home and verbally abuse my dad and I which kept getting worse throughout the year. they had brought a real nasty cold which I caught and ended up being super sick for the entire month of february. my pet ended up being killed outside and was a devastating event that resulted in more grieving. then I caught another very nasty cold and was out sick for the entire month of april when I had hardly recovered from the last one and since then I permanently have dry nose pain and a persisting cough to this day. not much later someone had egged our house and then our family dog died which was extremely upsetting and at this point it was starting to become too much while the tension at home kept building with all the drunk fighting going on. a little while later my brother had finally had enough and had to move away and have missed him a lot ever since not getting to see him often and started to feel even more alone. christmas was then the loneliest one ever and had no one to spend it with and was completely alone. the problems at home started to get completely out of control up to and during the whole pandemic thing now and dads wife nearly drowned her very young grandkids in the bath by leaving them and passing out drunk and shortly after she had pulled a knife on my dad and attempted to harm him. she will not stop making us all miserable by stealing and drinking tons of alcohol and somehow obtaining several drugs and gets angry and screams throughout all hours of the day and night sometimes at us or at hallucinations. she started also to bang on my door and scream go kill yourself while I hide locked up in my room having to call 911 and they did nothing to actually help either. been needing a way out of this so was going to try to work with the person I kind of know to be able to make money to move out but the pandemic has been making everything worse and cannot even go to church service and groups or bible study anymore. the isolation is killing me and it could not have come at a worse time than this. a couple of days ago I was out riding my longboard for exercise and got hit by a car leaving me very injured and not able to move well. they came around real quick by a corner with trees in the way and could not see and they were busy texting and plowed right into me about 30mph and having to spend all night in the ER and have just been crying at this point. starting to think that maybe God does not care about me and been having thoughts of giving up on life. please I need help am totally miserable every single day now. even through all this there is still no one who will even visit while in so much pain both inside and out and not so sure I want to believe in Jesus anymore

I know exactly how you feel because I went through the same afflictions myself.
God has bought all of these things into your life for a very good reason, so don't think that He's abandoned you.
You have 3 enemies trying to destroy you, one is the world the other is your sin nature and the Devil and His Demons are hell bent on your destruction.
The only friend you have is God and He has to chastise you to make you become the person He created you to be.
I hope and pray that you don't slip into despair and give up the battle, because that would mean that the enemy wins and you end up in hell for all eternity.
I was recently in a very dark place, it seemed like everything was going wrong. I was on a lot of medication for PTS, depression, anxiety, drug and alcohol withdrawal. My brother committed suicide, I was recovering from a motorcycle accident so I was unemployed and broke and I was given an eviction notice and my friends didn't want to know me.

I was extremely sick from withdrawal and extremely depressed and in lots of pain, so I couldn't even sleep.

I thought about taking my life but I decided to pray instead, I told God that I was prepared to surrender everything into His hands. That was the first time that I was truly ready to surrender all, I always prayed but I was never willing to put my whole trust in Christ before that time.

It's been about 2 and a half years since then, and life is completely different. I have no symptoms of any PTS, depression, anxiety or drug or alcohol and I'm not taking any medication. I've never been happier or healthier, God has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. He's given me everything that I'd hoped for and much more.

I can now look back and see that God put me through all of that, to bring me to a place of total surrender. He can't do a good work in our life, while we hold on to our sins and don't put our fill trust in Him.

It sounds like you're very close to that point, so I hope you put your full trust in Him and don't hold onto anything at all. If you have 99.999999999999999999999% trust in God, it's just as good as having 0.01111111111111111111% God demands nothing less than 100% trust, because it's very insulting to God, if we hold back anything from Him. We must trust Him with everything and surrender everything into His almighty hands.

If you do repent and put your whole trust Christ, then all those problems you mentioned become His problems and you won't be responsible for anything. He created us, so He knows what's best for us. If we live life on our terms, we will suffer in this life and in eternity as well.

Please don't give up on the King of the universe, He owns everything and He can do anything. He will completely change your desires, so you won't be a slave to sin anymore.