I dont know when or how it happend, but i am in love with a girl that some times i feel i shouldnt be in love with. I know she is having sexual issues because there are so many things that i have heard and confronted her about that are sexual (with other guys) that she has said that they were all lies. Even though i tell her "Look me in the eyes and tell me you promise this is not true" She hasnt done it once. I am saved, i am in mad love with this girl and i sincerely care for her. I just wish she would change her ways, because its too hard for me to try to let go of this girl. The thing that constanly hurts me is the fact that what the females of my race see on T.V. (music videos) makes it seem more likely for this girl to really turn out to be a prostitute 10 years from now, or she might get with some guy that might just use her for her body and not treat her (as a young lady) for what shes worth. Which again, if you look at a specific type of our music, its very common. please pray for me and the girl /just a 15 year old male looking for help/advice.
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Help. my girlfriend is having sexual issues.
- Thread starter Sion412
- Start date
sion
First off, its not your job to go around fixing other people.
We start with unconditional love. Even if she has morality issues, you must still show her unconditional love and acceptance.
Sounds like you've got a strong biological attatchment to this girl too. What I mean is, your body is starting to tell you its time to reproduce, and upon seeing this girl its going to do its own thing. Don't confuse this impusle with mature, healthy adult relationships.
You may feel saved, but your struggle has just begun.
Christ gives us the tools to deal with these situations. Now it is your job to do the right thing.
Here's my advice.
Express to her how her behavior makes you feel.
Do not judge her! Just say, when you do what you do I feel worried about you... or whatever you feel-- i'm not sure what you feel, that is your job.
Tell her what you think the consequences of her actions will be: pregnancy, distorted sense of self.
Try to understand her position. Perhaps she has low self esteem and thinks using her body to get boys will make her feel better. Let her know that it won't.
I would also recommend she at least get some birth control, but the mods here may not be too keen on that Idea. (mods, if you want this edited let me know) To me it sounds like she is a girl out of control, and should be on the pill. Once she learns that peace is only in Christ, not in sexual, animalistic relations, at least she won't be burdened by children.
Beyond that, its her choice and you must love her unconditionally whatever she decides to do.
Hope this helps
First off, its not your job to go around fixing other people.
We start with unconditional love. Even if she has morality issues, you must still show her unconditional love and acceptance.
Sounds like you've got a strong biological attatchment to this girl too. What I mean is, your body is starting to tell you its time to reproduce, and upon seeing this girl its going to do its own thing. Don't confuse this impusle with mature, healthy adult relationships.
You may feel saved, but your struggle has just begun.
Christ gives us the tools to deal with these situations. Now it is your job to do the right thing.
Here's my advice.
Express to her how her behavior makes you feel.
Do not judge her! Just say, when you do what you do I feel worried about you... or whatever you feel-- i'm not sure what you feel, that is your job.
Tell her what you think the consequences of her actions will be: pregnancy, distorted sense of self.
Try to understand her position. Perhaps she has low self esteem and thinks using her body to get boys will make her feel better. Let her know that it won't.
I would also recommend she at least get some birth control, but the mods here may not be too keen on that Idea. (mods, if you want this edited let me know) To me it sounds like she is a girl out of control, and should be on the pill. Once she learns that peace is only in Christ, not in sexual, animalistic relations, at least she won't be burdened by children.
Beyond that, its her choice and you must love her unconditionally whatever she decides to do.
Hope this helps
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forgivenmuch
christ is the answer
let go ... let God do his work..and stop trying to fix her... she has a choice just like you
and if she wants to live her life in sin... that is her... but its time you let God do his job for you in your life... do not yoke with unbelievers.. so you are not doing what God wants you to do right now yourself... you seem like you have such a big heart... let God send you the right one.
and if she wants to live her life in sin... that is her... but its time you let God do his job for you in your life... do not yoke with unbelievers.. so you are not doing what God wants you to do right now yourself... you seem like you have such a big heart... let God send you the right one.
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LegomasterJC
Well-Known Member
- Sep 9, 2004
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Keep praying for her but put more focus on God and your life. You may have to let her go but if your focus is on God and not her, then it will not be as hard as you think.
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bubblegirl23
Resident bubble chick
I was in an abusive situation when I was fifteen. What made the difference was being woken up to the fact she can do MUCH better....
Take her out to dinner (as a friend)and show her how she deserves to be treated. During the night, tell her, "This is how a man SHOULD treat you. If they don't, leave. Your body is a gift to be appreciated." It will get her thinking.
If you hear a man is hurting her, ask her. Push her if you have to - sometimes we hide things for fear & need to be pushed. Show her real love and friendship.
Give her time & she may realize she loves you too, But right now it's not worth risking the friendship.
Take her out to dinner (as a friend)and show her how she deserves to be treated. During the night, tell her, "This is how a man SHOULD treat you. If they don't, leave. Your body is a gift to be appreciated." It will get her thinking.
If you hear a man is hurting her, ask her. Push her if you have to - sometimes we hide things for fear & need to be pushed. Show her real love and friendship.
Give her time & she may realize she loves you too, But right now it's not worth risking the friendship.
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So many times we date someone that we love but feel we should change. The thing is, the harder you try, the less is going to happen. (That doesn't make any sense..sorry). I have no clue what the sexual issues she is struggling with are...but God does. He can take care of them. I can't tell you whether to let go or not. I can only tell you that in a relationship both sides should not push eachother away from Christ. Is this girl a christian?
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issa
pray for the peace of Jerusalem
reminds me of hosea. God told him to marry a prostitute and he did and she left him but he kept on taking her back when she wants. very much like our own relationship with God.
you are young. there will be more people you will care about with greater problems. you have to know how to deal with that. you cannot solve all their problems but you can be a friend. at this age, you really cant be any more than that as a serious relationship is a big responsibility. can you take care of yourself and be independent enough to be able to care after another person?
nobody is strong enough to handle all the problems in this world. lift it up to God. commit your heart also to God. everything will be ok, God is in control.
you are young. there will be more people you will care about with greater problems. you have to know how to deal with that. you cannot solve all their problems but you can be a friend. at this age, you really cant be any more than that as a serious relationship is a big responsibility. can you take care of yourself and be independent enough to be able to care after another person?
nobody is strong enough to handle all the problems in this world. lift it up to God. commit your heart also to God. everything will be ok, God is in control.
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