Help me please

[Angelgirlie]

Help,
I have a co-worker who is just flat out rude to me. She speaks to me in an obnoxiously bossy way. She is not a superior to me at my job. How do I handle this? I got in an argument with her today; which was not very Christian of me. But I don't think it's right that I should take her ****, when it's undeserved. I told my boss about it. She tries to boss me into doing things. What should I do? I know I need to be Christ like, but how do I handle someone who speaks abusively because they're on a power trip or whatever the reason? Thanks

 

[growingupinhim]

Love..you need to simply love her,even when she is rude..of course you shouldn't be abused but Love should be your response.. Jesus said we should love our enemies as our self, to bless them and even pray for them...this true Christian life! Hope things get better..time often changes things as well...

 

[retooferab]

Ohhhhh, boy! That sounds miserable! Seems like an attempt at talking it out with this person might be in order. Something that starts with, "I feel really bad about our relationship, and that matters to me. I was wondering if I have done something that has offended you, or if maybe there's something else bothering you. Can we find a way to work together peacefully?" Hopefully, some "walls" might come down and you'll reach an understanding with her. If, however, you feel like you're the crazy one after this conversation, then she just might be crazy! (Not crazy, really, but have a personality disorder that makes everyone around her feel that way.) Tom Dooly (Sp?) had a radio series about these types of people and how to deal with them. If I can find the resource, then I will post it here. Good luck!

 

[Angeldove97]

*sigh* Maybe...God is giving you this person because you can show her something...or at least God wants to teach you something with a relationship like this. Jesus taught to love thy enemy and turn the other cheek. I guess that's the best advice I can give you. Also, think of it this way, she may be trying to test how Christian you are, if she knows, and if you can show that you won't get upset when she acts like this, you'll be able to start to show her Jesus' love. You might be able to help this lady out a lot, if you can yield your heart into caring and loving her. I know it'll be really really hard...but don't forget: What would Jesus do?

 

[Stanfi]

Charles Stanley has a tape on "Handling Personal Conflicts" It is good. It's been a while since I listened to it, so unfortunatley I don't remember the details of it.

 

[desi]

If she's not your boss ignoring her may work. You could just say, I'm busy right now but if I have time later I might think about helping you with that if you say please and buy me lunch. Or you could say, 'Why are you always asking me to do things? Aren't you efficient enough to do your own work? I'm tired of covering for you.' Eventually she will lose interest in pestering you and (or) others will notice her failure to control you which will diminish her in their eyes. Arguing outright in front of others at work over something this minor just makes you look petty. 'Prick her conceit with silly replies.'

 

[jessiegirl]

Angelgirlie,

I had a similar experience about 5 years ago. I worked with someone who I thought was my friend. It seems like evernight she turned on me. Our jobs required us to interact often. She would hide information I needed or claim not to know. This made my job difficult because it took me twice as long to track everything down. I turned the other cheek and would go out of my way to help her.

Our relationship never improved. I quit my job eventually. But not because of her. A co-worker that I still keep intouch with says she just moved on to another person. She continually has to have someone to treat badly. She, like your co-worker must be very miserable on the inside. Their own insecurities make them lash out at other people.

If I had it to do over again, I think I would do as some others have suggested. I would do it the same, but take her to lunch and try to resolve it with her.

What did your boss say when you talked to him/her?

Pray and ask for answers and wisdom. I will pray for you. I think you can still be Christ-like and pray for this person. But if the abuse goes on, you need to try and walk away when she becomes abusive.

In the end I think prayer is always the answer. By the way, when I was going through my issues with my co-worker, I was not a Christian. I sure wish I would have been.

jessiegirl

 

[William Nunn]

Angelgirlie, the advice here is good. The Lord said to be patient and loving even with our enemies, and we certainly should. Patient and loving does not mean that we should be weak though. Be assertive. If she tells you to do something that is unreasonable, then tell her respectfully that you are not going to do it or that if she is going to be constantly asking you to do things, she needs to be more respectful. I repeat, being a Christian does not mean you have to let people walk all over you. I am in the Army, and the soldiers who work under me thought I would be a marshmallow because I am a Christian. But I was assertive and confident while still being able to maintain my Christian bearing and humility. It's a fine balance to strike, but once you do, your work relationships will be much better and easier to handle.

 

[jesusfreak2722]

try to talk to her just maybe she will become more nice to you. if that does not work ask your boss if you can move your desk some where else.

 

[Rafael]

Repay evil with good, and turn the other cheek, as Jesus did. It isn't easy, but nothing Jesus did for us was easy either, or following after Him - but it is worth it all in the end. Pray much about this. It seems that these tests in life just have to come along, but if you pass it in faith, God will absolutely protect you and promote you. Don't complain at work, and be silent, just as Jesus was with His accusers, and God will take care of it all.

Psalms 75:6 ¶ For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south.
7 But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another.

Matthew 5:39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
43 ¶ Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

Romans 12:21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

 

[LOVELYST]

hello Angel,
first of all I know that is not easy having someone talk to you in such way, it's the devil, he is using that person to break you down, you need to pray about it, let God guide you in the spirit, it's because you're operating in the flesh that is why you have all this feelings, like my Pastor says, if you operate in the spirit, then you would feel nothing,


Lovelyst