I have a close friend whom I care about who has been told by her husband that he has been unfaithful. She needs advice; she is young and has been married for a very short period of time. I have a feeling that this isnt the first time, but I do not know that for sure and now isnt the time to ask her. How can I help her? I need advice to give her. Please if at all possible; biblical advise. I am very one-sided on this issue and I need some help, so that I can give her the right advice, not just what I would do advise. Any one have any suggestions, scriptures, etc?
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Help! I need advice
- Thread starter sparkleblossom
- Start date
DaveKerwin
Represent the Most High
Ok, the best thing you can do at this point is to simply be with her.
If you want to discuss God's promises or marital instruction at this point, that is up to you. If she just found out then the best thing you can do right now is to be with her, and show that you care, not so much with your words, but with your presence. She does not need to make any decisions at this point.
If you want to discuss God's promises or marital instruction at this point, that is up to you. If she just found out then the best thing you can do right now is to be with her, and show that you care, not so much with your words, but with your presence. She does not need to make any decisions at this point.
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She is young and very hasty when upset, which is a bit of my concern; she is only 20 yrs old and as of this am, has open a new checking account and is making plans for the worst; I am a little scared that without teh right advice she will make a quick decision, that may or may not be the best one..
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DaveKerwin
Represent the Most High
Well, encourage her to not change the world in a day. She is obviously really ticked off, and rightfully so. She should be mad, absolutely. But what she does at this point is important. She need not make hasty decisions. Get her to chill. Go be with her.
God can make anything new, and she can trust in that if she is willing to eventually restore teh marriage. Right now she is upset, so she will not be. She is unlikely to heed good biblical advice because everything sounds cliche at this point. Be firm with her when you know she is making a bad decision. Point her enery in the right direction.
God can make anything new, and she can trust in that if she is willing to eventually restore teh marriage. Right now she is upset, so she will not be. She is unlikely to heed good biblical advice because everything sounds cliche at this point. Be firm with her when you know she is making a bad decision. Point her enery in the right direction.
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Tangnefedd
A Liberal Christian
If my man cheated on me, and was unrepentant, or did it again, he would be out of the door so fast his feet wouldn't touch the ground!!!
Obviously your friend has got to find out if he definitely is being unfaithful, if he is, and not for the first time, I think she should leave him. Even the Bible says that adultery is grounds for divorce. No man or woman has a right to cheat on their spouse imo!
Obviously your friend has got to find out if he definitely is being unfaithful, if he is, and not for the first time, I think she should leave him. Even the Bible says that adultery is grounds for divorce. No man or woman has a right to cheat on their spouse imo!
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Hmmm...at this age and that it happened quickly indicates that this guy isn't finished with being a player. Mistakes can happen. The question is whether this guy really loves her and wants to be committed to her in a marriage or whether he wants her to act like his mother to keep house and cook while he's out acting like he's still in high school.
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Tangnefedd
A Liberal Christian
Mr Cheese, cheating is not a mistake, it is an act of treachery within a marriage!!!!!
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Tangnefedd, obviously you have no idea what goes on. I don't justify it, but I have lived through it, and my naive views have changed. There is a plethora of issues that lead to it, not just one.
As for the op, they should meet with and as a group with a pastor, if they have a pastor they know. It's hard to say what else to do. Is he sorry? If not, why did he tell her? Is he changing? Is she changing? Have they made their minds up? What do they want to do?
As for the op, they should meet with and as a group with a pastor, if they have a pastor they know. It's hard to say what else to do. Is he sorry? If not, why did he tell her? Is he changing? Is she changing? Have they made their minds up? What do they want to do?
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Tangnefedd said:
I agree with you. Even if he was repepentant though - I honestly for myself, would still have a HARD time and mostly because of STD concerns and trust. Knowing me, I think I would boot him out the door and if he said something about being "so sorry" I would have said "you should have thought of that before you cheated"
Sewing wild oats or not!
I'm sorry I can't give much advice there because I am admittedly biased on the cheating issue - but from the point of view as a friend trying to help another friend; I would definetely just be there and be supportive and point things out to her that the people here are bringing up; she could use several different viewpoints to figure out which choice is best for her and her husband.
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