HELP! I don’t want to hurt him!

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

Please pray for me. I’m having unwanted sexual thoughts about someone I love. I don’t want this. I love God and my friend and I would never do this to him. I don’t get it. Am I a monster? Did I ruin our friendship even if it was just some thought?
Is God mad at me?
Is this what I truly want and I’m evil?
Please help
-a scared Servant

 

[Rescued One]

When evil thoughts come, pray about them and listen to Christisn music. Memorize some Bible verses. Direct your thoughts to other topics.

 

[GaveMeJoy]

Please pray for me. I’m having unwanted sexual thoughts about someone I love. I don’t want this. I love God and my friend and I would never do this to him. I don’t get it. Am I a monster? Did I ruin our friendship even if it was just some thought?
Is God mad at me?
Is this what I truly want and I’m evil?
Please help
-a scared Servant

Remember when you experience temptation it is often Satan trying to ruin something good and Christ honoring like your friendship. Confess your lust to the father, don’t be alone with this person under any circumstances and you will be good to go! Temptation isn’t a sin—Jesus was tempted in the wilderness—-it’s what we do with it that makes the difference

 

[AllDayFaith]

No God is not mad at you, maybe he's trying to correct your behavior.

 

[SarahsKnight]

Is this what I truly want and I’m evil?
Please help

No, SeekingGlory, I cannot imagine this is your true self if sexual thoughts cause you anywhere near this much distress as they seem to. No, you are not evil. But neither are you or any of the rest of us Good - certainly not up to God's standards of Good, anyway. It's the reason we need Him.

But may i suggest that you not look at this problem with sexual thoughts towards your friend from a fearful standpoint, in that you worry God will want to condemn you as evil for them. But rather, call to Him for help in this struggle, for His forgiveness for your sins, believing that He is for you and not against you, and desires to save rather than condemn you. ..... May I ask? Did a sexual thought towards this person you care about first come through your mind seemingly at random? And did it scare you that you would continue to those thoughts when they first came to mind? If so, your fear of them may be what is causing them to repeat in your mind so frequently, as they appear to be from your OP. Please try to calm yourself, (understandably) distressing as the unwanted sexual thoughts may be, and try not to respond to them in frantic fear, when praying to God for forgiveness and healing from them. I am sure that these sexual thoughts are not what you truly desire or anything like that at all.

 

[Jim B.]

Um...well...yes. You have an evil side and you probably genuinely want to sleep with him. But it may not be 100% evil: God created us as sexual beings. Although since they're unwanted thoughts and since he is your friend and not your husband, then it's sin.

Typically, especially with women, you have an emotionally intimate relationship prior to a sexual desire. And so, be careful with this "friend" of yours. And by the way, men typically don't get hurt when women want to sleep with them! It's bragging rights. However, yes it would be hurtful to go down one path and then decide to change things up and go down another (i.e. let's hang out for a few weeks but after that I'm going to find a Christian husband).

What is wrong with having a courtship with this man? I mean, provided that you remain pure prior to marriage. Is he not a Christian? Is he already married? Are you already married? You didn't really specify why you can't simply pursue a deeper relationship with this man.

As far as the actual temptation is concerned, pray, pray, and pray some more. But also do some recovery work. Often times, lust and sexual pleasure is a chemical addiction in a sense (i.e. dopamine release). You may want to consider what pain you are trying to numb. In this sense, maybe you are going to hurt this man. Reason being, if it's just your pleasure and it's not about him than yes, that could be hurtful. New Life Ministries with Stephen Arterburn and Jill Hubbard have many resources that can probably help you.

 

[Tolworth John]

Please pray for me. I’m having unwanted sexual thoughts about someone I love. I don’t want this. I love God and my friend and I would never do this to him. I don’t get it. Am I a monster? Did I ruin our friendship even if it was just some thought?
Is God mad at me?
Is this what I truly want and I’m evil?
Please help
-a scared Servant

You've put this in the OCD forum, please read the thread 25 tips, as it has ideas that may help you.

God knows us, how we think, what motivates us and how we speak and act.
He knew this before he made us and yet he still loves us enough to die for us.

When you think of what he endured in order to save us, he is not going to be wiling to let us go.

 

[Leet]

You mentioned having a bf in another post, is it him or someone else?

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

You mentioned having a bf in another post, is it him or someone else?

No I am not with anyone, unless you mean the person who had an extreme crush/obsession with me.

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

Um...well...yes. You have an evil side and you probably genuinely want to sleep with him. But it may not be 100% evil: God created us as sexual beings. Although since they're unwanted thoughts and since he is your friend and not your husband, then it's sin.

Typically, especially with women, you have an emotionally intimate relationship prior to a sexual desire. And so, be careful with this "friend" of yours. And by the way, men typically don't get hurt when women want to sleep with them! It's bragging rights. However, yes it would be hurtful to go down one path and then decide to change things up and go down another (i.e. let's hang out for a few weeks but after that I'm going to find a Christian husband).

What is wrong with having a courtship with this man? I mean, provided that you remain pure prior to marriage. Is he not a Christian? Is he already married? Are you already married? You didn't really specify why you can't simply pursue a deeper relationship with this man.

As far as the actual temptation is concerned, pray, pray, and pray some more. But also do some recovery work. Often times, lust and sexual pleasure is a chemical addiction in a sense (i.e. dopamine release). You may want to consider what pain you are trying to numb. In this sense, maybe you are going to hurt this man. Reason being, if it's just your pleasure and it's not about him than yes, that could be hurtful. New Life Ministries with Stephen Arterburn and Jill Hubbard have many resources that can probably help you.

Both single, and he’s a Christian. I’m pretty young and I really don’t want sexual intimacy, (at least, my Spirit.) I was sexually abused before so that kinda scares me. Even though my flesh probably does of course I don’t dwell on it

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

No, SeekingGlory, I cannot imagine this is your true self if sexual thoughts cause you anywhere near this much distress as they seem to. No, you are not evil. But neither are you or any of the rest of us Good - certainly not up to God's standards of Good, anyway. It's the reason we need Him.

But may i suggest that you not look at this problem with sexual thoughts towards your friend from a fearful standpoint, in that you worry God will want to condemn you as evil for them. But rather, call to Him for help in this struggle, for His forgiveness for your sins, believing that He is for you and not against you, and desires to save rather than condemn you. ..... May I ask? Did a sexual thought towards this person you care about first come through your mind seemingly at random? And did it scare you that you would continue to those thoughts when they first came to mind? If so, your fear of them may be what is causing them to repeat in your mind so frequently, as they appear to be from your OP. Please try to calm yourself, (understandably) distressing as the unwanted sexual thoughts may be, and try not to respond to them in frantic fear, when praying to God for forgiveness and healing from them. I am sure that these sexual thoughts are not what you truly desire or anything like that at all.

Thank you I feel better today. Remembering all that God is doing for this friendship to form has made me remember God has a greater outcome than one disturbing thought.

 

[Mari17]

Please pray for me. I’m having unwanted sexual thoughts about someone I love. I don’t want this. I love God and my friend and I would never do this to him. I don’t get it. Am I a monster? Did I ruin our friendship even if it was just some thought?
Is God mad at me?
Is this what I truly want and I’m evil?
Please help
-a scared Servant

Unwanted thoughts (including violent/sexual thoughts) is very common with OCD. If you're continuing to struggle with these, look into getting therapy and/or learning how to treat these obsessive thoughts on your own. I've had some pretty weird and disturbing obsessions in the past; I'd be happy to share how I've learned to deal with my OCD, if you'd like!

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

Unwanted thoughts (including violent/sexual thoughts) is very common with OCD. If you're continuing to struggle with these, look into getting therapy and/or learning how to treat these obsessive thoughts on your own. I've had some pretty weird and disturbing obsessions in the past; I'd be happy to share how I've learned to deal with my OCD, if you'd like!

I’d love to see how you did, if you don’t mind!

 

[Not Perfect]

Have you spoken about this to someone you trust? I highly recommend you discuss this issue with a spiritual mentor, a pastor, or a Christian counselor. They should be able to help you separate out what thoughts are harmless obsessions/temptations, and which are actually lustful or sinful. That should help you know how to react to them.

In addition, if you are not seeking counseling/have not sought it in the past to work through your past experience with abuse, I highly suggest you do so. Traumatic experiences like that can definitely influence both your psychological and spiritual struggles.

 

[Mari17]

I’d love to see how you did, if you don’t mind!

I'm sorry for my very delayed reply. Do you know much about therapies for OCD? For example, CBT/ERP therapies?