Greetings all, I'm new here.
I joined in search of help with a problem I've been having for years. I've tried to help myself but am constantly met with failure. I feel as though God is pushing me to ask somebody for help, but I'm just too embarrassed to talk to any of my friends about it. A friend of mine knows I struggle with masturbation and I have no problem with opening up about that... it's what I fantasise about and how I fuel that fantasy that I'm too embarrassed to admit. I'm even here under a false profile, just to avoid the small chance of recognition. Just thought I'd be honest about that part
Anyway, I struggle with the 'damsel in distress' scenario. At which point I feel very ashamed of myself. . just the damsel in distress scenario which is very common in TV and film: women tied up in realistic (and not sexual) ways. I often find myself searching out such images on the internet and drawing such images myself. It really doesn't help that I have a talent for drawing... because I can create any scenario I desire on paper! I sometimes even tie myself to a chair. However I fuel my fetish, I always feel a great amount of shame afterwards, but I always find myself coming back to it. The only development I've really made is that I feel more and more shame WHILE I'm indulging, not just afterwards. This can deter me away sometimes, but only to fail later on in the day. And no matter what amount of shame I feel while I'm doing it, I can't stop myself without the release of masturbation.
I know this fetish and masturbation itself do not glorify God, and that he wants me to stop, but I just can't. I also feel terrible that sometimes I fantasise about women I know, sometimes even women I consider friends, which is just completely wrong and shows now love to them whatsoever. I feel as though I don't deserve to know them at all. I know that how ever much I mess up, God will still let me into his Kingdom so long as I put my trust in Christ, but what I do is still a great dishonour to God, to people I love and to women in general. For these reasons, I must stop.
I need help. I need prayer. I need advice, preferably from people who have gone or are going through something similar. An accountability partner/group of people going through fetish temptation would be ideal.
I joined in search of help with a problem I've been having for years. I've tried to help myself but am constantly met with failure. I feel as though God is pushing me to ask somebody for help, but I'm just too embarrassed to talk to any of my friends about it. A friend of mine knows I struggle with masturbation and I have no problem with opening up about that... it's what I fantasise about and how I fuel that fantasy that I'm too embarrassed to admit. I'm even here under a false profile, just to avoid the small chance of recognition. Just thought I'd be honest about that part
Anyway, I struggle with the 'damsel in distress' scenario. At which point I feel very ashamed of myself. . just the damsel in distress scenario which is very common in TV and film: women tied up in realistic (and not sexual) ways. I often find myself searching out such images on the internet and drawing such images myself. It really doesn't help that I have a talent for drawing... because I can create any scenario I desire on paper! I sometimes even tie myself to a chair. However I fuel my fetish, I always feel a great amount of shame afterwards, but I always find myself coming back to it. The only development I've really made is that I feel more and more shame WHILE I'm indulging, not just afterwards. This can deter me away sometimes, but only to fail later on in the day. And no matter what amount of shame I feel while I'm doing it, I can't stop myself without the release of masturbation.
I know this fetish and masturbation itself do not glorify God, and that he wants me to stop, but I just can't. I also feel terrible that sometimes I fantasise about women I know, sometimes even women I consider friends, which is just completely wrong and shows now love to them whatsoever. I feel as though I don't deserve to know them at all. I know that how ever much I mess up, God will still let me into his Kingdom so long as I put my trust in Christ, but what I do is still a great dishonour to God, to people I love and to women in general. For these reasons, I must stop.
I need help. I need prayer. I need advice, preferably from people who have gone or are going through something similar. An accountability partner/group of people going through fetish temptation would be ideal.
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