how do i help my 10 year old see that she doesn't need to grow up so fast? she is already a 4.0 student and is yelling at me that I don't understand what she is going through. we don't have alot but she feels like I haven't tried to keep her in style. I tell her style should reflect her moral character not her conforming to the peer pressure.She is so sweet and smart, sometimes I have a hard time making her understand that these trials that test her in faith and strengh will only help her to encourage and uplift others worse off than she feels she is. Such as the man who had two feet walked all day and lost a leg. tried and without rest he called to the lord....why me help me. the lord replyed when u saw two foot prints it was then i carried u now that u see one this is all the strengh u have.-
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Help- bringing up a 10 yr. old
- Thread starter triedinfaith
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how do i help my 10 year old see that she doesn't need to grow up so fast? she is already a 4.0 student and is yelling at me that I don't understand what she is going through. we don't have alot but she feels like I haven't tried to keep her in style. I tell her style should reflect her moral character not her conforming to the peer pressure.She is so sweet and smart, sometimes I have a hard time making her understand that these trials that test her in faith and strengh will only help her to encourage and uplift others worse off than she feels she is. Such as the man who had two feet walked all day and lost a leg. tried and without rest he called to the lord....why me help me. the lord replyed when u saw two foot prints it was then i carried u now that u see one this is all the strengh u have.
I think there's also a lesson to be learned in selflessness here. Does she understand that mom simply cannot give her everything she wants--even if mom wanted to? It's not right for kids to demand things from us or to get angry at us because what they want is expensive/a waste of $$.
That being said I do think it is important to let our kids be in style, let them wear things they like. That doesn't mean we have to let them wear belly-revealing tops and thongs, but we should also not make them wear the plaid pants and blue socks found in Aunt Martha's attic (know what I mean?). But we can buy some really nice clothing at Target or Kohl's for a decent price. Even shopping at rummage sales and Goodwill can be really fun--we just might have to get over our pride of wearing already used clothing
And you can always reassure her that there's always the future to look forward to. When she grows up and gets a job she can buy whatever she wants
That being said I do think it is important to let our kids be in style, let them wear things they like. That doesn't mean we have to let them wear belly-revealing tops and thongs, but we should also not make them wear the plaid pants and blue socks found in Aunt Martha's attic (know what I mean?). But we can buy some really nice clothing at Target or Kohl's for a decent price. Even shopping at rummage sales and Goodwill can be really fun--we just might have to get over our pride of wearing already used clothing
And you can always reassure her that there's always the future to look forward to. When she grows up and gets a job she can buy whatever she wants
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Tangnefedd
A Liberal Christian
Obviously one has to cut one's coat according to one's cloth, and if your daughter is intelligent she will realise this. However, at ten it is hard not to want to be like her peer group, difference at that age is not appreciated and can lead to bullying. Telling her that style should reflect her moral character and not her conforming to peer pressure, maybe understood by you, but is not something she wants to hear and it is quite reasonable for her to say you don't understand! You have to be sympathetic to her needs, explain you can't afford to give into all the whims of fashion, but I am sure that there are some ways you can compromise so she feels better about it. If are too moralistic about her aspirations, you are going to make a rod for your own back and may live to regret it. I have three daughters, now lovely adults, but I frequently listened to the chorus of "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND" and "YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE", while they were growing up.
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What is the measure of a good parent? Its the love, not the child.
You can have and should have the biggest hand in molding her (through Christ of course), but God gave us all free will. God is the greatest parent of them all, but look at all his children.
When i was a child, i listened to my parents and was one of the 'sweetest little angels'. But i grew up messed up because of the lack of love that was given me.
Its understandable to want to find a solution to what problems you see now, but even more important is that you understand and are ready for even worse.
So never give up, and don't despair. By continually showing love in your acts, everything will be ok. You may not see that you're getting through to her now, but as she matures, she will remember the things you've said and done most and they will stay with her, even if she disagrees. Most importantly she'll remember that you loved her and that you were a Christian parent. That's what you want her to remember when she's an adult and is asked "What were your parents like?"
Have faith in God and have patience. I doubt you've seen the worst of having to be a parent just yet. Remember, you're not God, and not even God frets when His children disobey. As God does with us, be always loving in your words and actions.
You can have and should have the biggest hand in molding her (through Christ of course), but God gave us all free will. God is the greatest parent of them all, but look at all his children.
When i was a child, i listened to my parents and was one of the 'sweetest little angels'. But i grew up messed up because of the lack of love that was given me.
Its understandable to want to find a solution to what problems you see now, but even more important is that you understand and are ready for even worse.
So never give up, and don't despair. By continually showing love in your acts, everything will be ok. You may not see that you're getting through to her now, but as she matures, she will remember the things you've said and done most and they will stay with her, even if she disagrees. Most importantly she'll remember that you loved her and that you were a Christian parent. That's what you want her to remember when she's an adult and is asked "What were your parents like?"
Have faith in God and have patience. I doubt you've seen the worst of having to be a parent just yet. Remember, you're not God, and not even God frets when His children disobey. As God does with us, be always loving in your words and actions.
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pmarquette
Well-Known Member
two choices .... salvation army or K-Mart
what mom buys or garbage bag
what mom can afford or you get a job
what pastor approves of not britney spears ...
what mom buys or garbage bag
what mom can afford or you get a job
what pastor approves of not britney spears ...
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set free in Christ
Active Member
Offer her and alowance. Chores that she does around the house, she is say paid for. Keep track of this money on paper so she can see the figures. Only chatch is this money must go for clothes deducting what she has earned on the paper minus what she must also give in an offering to your church. With this maybe she will see what YOU are up against since you must also pay for food, utilities etc.
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Tangnefedd
A Liberal Christian
Why should a child of that age have to give an offering to the church? My parents always gave us money to put on the collection plate, and when we got older it was up to us whether we contributed or not!
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set free in Christ
Active Member
Well for starters we are to train our children to be adults and leave the home. The girl here will be fully grown in only 8 short years (maybe married). Part of her alowance needs to go to the church, part to savings, and part to spend. That is one thing that parents are slack in....teaching your children how to use money. It is give me, give me..... Your children need to learn fast that you can spend it a lot faster than you can earn it.
Here we have a mom lets say that is out earning a living. There is utilities, gas, insurance, food, you know what I am talking about.......our children see none of this. I suggest that with the allowance the parents expenses should also be shown on the paper. Let your children know what they will be up against when they get out on their own. Drugs and sex are not the only important things to talk to your kids about.
Here we have a mom lets say that is out earning a living. There is utilities, gas, insurance, food, you know what I am talking about.......our children see none of this. I suggest that with the allowance the parents expenses should also be shown on the paper. Let your children know what they will be up against when they get out on their own. Drugs and sex are not the only important things to talk to your kids about.
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Tangnefedd
A Liberal Christian
Why does part of their money have to go to the church? It is not a compulsory tax it should be voluntary! I am quite happy for children to learn about the cost of living and have an allowance etc, and learn to save, but giving to the church, no. If the parents want to do that, fine and if the child wants to do it when it is older, fine, but it is not something that should be imposed on a child because the parents say so!
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set free in Christ
Active Member
..."Why does part of their money have to go to the church? It is not a compulsory tax..." I do not consider money that I give to God a tax. I have to pay tax but I do not have to give to God. This last year I gave more than I ever had and what has it gotten me.
2003 was the year that I made the most money. By the last of Nov. I could have closed my doors and I would have been ahead of 2002. This last Jan 04 was the most that I have ever done for the month of Jan. Last thursday Feb (?) I did more that day that I have ever done before and the week before that was the busiest week that I have ever had. So much for Bush and the lousy econemy some would say. It just keeps getting better and better. I told my wife I wondered what was next!
God sais that he will do this...Luke 7 ..."Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over." How would you like that for you and your children. Part of life is giving back to God. It is no tax. "impose" Do you impose your children to go to church or go to school.
2003 was the year that I made the most money. By the last of Nov. I could have closed my doors and I would have been ahead of 2002. This last Jan 04 was the most that I have ever done for the month of Jan. Last thursday Feb (?) I did more that day that I have ever done before and the week before that was the busiest week that I have ever had. So much for Bush and the lousy econemy some would say. It just keeps getting better and better. I told my wife I wondered what was next!
God sais that he will do this...Luke 7 ..."Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over." How would you like that for you and your children. Part of life is giving back to God. It is no tax. "impose" Do you impose your children to go to church or go to school.
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Tangnefedd
A Liberal Christian
I was forced to go to church as a child and hated it. I was determined that no child of mine should ever be forced to go to church if they did not wish to. In consequence they all chose to go to church even though their father and myself did not attend. My eldest daughter is now an Anglican Priest.
All children should be free to decide whether they believe in God or not. Sending them to school is compulsory so that they are educated enough to make decisions about spirituality!
All children should be free to decide whether they believe in God or not. Sending them to school is compulsory so that they are educated enough to make decisions about spirituality!
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