Help and advice needed.

[SparkyRed]

I have problems with porn and masturbation, which I think is fairly unusuall for a female, although not unheard of.

Can anyone help me, I know God is forgiving, and I make promises to myself and to him to stop, but it only lasts so long and I dont know how to stop.

I have thoughts all the time that I know I shouldn't and I cant get the horrible images that I trawl the net for out of my head.

I wondered also how these thoughts get in, there have been men in my life that I know have had problems, Can infidelity and porn problems come down family and thorugh marriage?

I really need help and advice.

 

[Bellicus]

From what I read pornography and masturbation is slightly less common among females then men, but still there are really large numbers of women that both touch and watch porn. One problem is that there is not the same openness about it as among men and women is often stereotypically displayed as asexual creatures. But all in all masturbation is very common among females, and also many use pornography, so it is not as unusual as many might think.

When it comes to porn, maybe a web filter could work for you? When it comes to temptations in general the advice the bible gives it to live in the Spirit, or to get married for those that are "burning with lusts". And other then that it is also written about forgiveness, that even if we sin, then we can always find forgiveness for it. I don't think there are any magic tricks other then that. Total celibacy with no sex, porn, masturbation etc. is really hard and will require you to surrender totally to God and ask him to help you do what you can't do.

 

[SparkyRed]

Thank you Bellicus, I was married for 10 years, my husband and I became Christians before we got married, he backslid, stayed away from church, made it difficult for me to go, and started watching porn, at one point he even went to a strip club, Eventually he had an affair (I dont even like the word affair, it seems to make it sound nicer than it actually is) and we split up. I would love to get married again to the right man (listening to God this time instead of me) but I dont see how I am ever gonna meet a man, never mind one who will want to marry me. I have tried web filters but they are too easy to turn off. I have not looked at anything I shouldnt for about 4 days now, which is good.

 

[sunset00]

Indeed, satan definitely uses our failures against us. I would say the problems you have with lust makes you human. Everybody deals with it in life, some just struggle more than others.

I would definitely pray (as I'm sure you are) about it like you've never prayed before. You know that we will not be tempted beyond what we can bare and God does provide an escape for us when we feel tempted. It may be prudent for you to have an accountability partner or something. You know, whenever you feel urges to watch porn, just give your partner a call and let them know you're struggling. I don't know what will work best for you but I would definitely be active about finding solutions. And always keep God the center, for without Him it will not be possible. You can overcome this for God is mighty to save!

 

[GodIsNear]

I believe the best thing to do is to pray whenever you feel you are tempted to do something you shouldn't. I know this is not easy, but as soon as you start thinking of porn try to think of what Jesus has done for you and how this would not be a good way to pay him back.
Find yourself a hobby or something that you enjoy doing and this could just help prevent you from failing again.


God bless.

 

[myanchor]

Hey sweety, any chance of your and your ex reconciling? That'd be the best thing so long as you both were on the same page spiritually. Beth Moore's book Get out of that Pit helped me tremendously. I am a sex addict who was reading stories and looking at some pics. I will always be one. After I stopped and was sober for a while I told my wife and she was upset but forgave me. I am tempted less and less as times goes on. I still remember things though. Gotta go to God everytime with it. I became a supporter of NewLife.com and they sent me a life recovery bible. I didn't think much of it at first, but started to read it and couldn't put it down. Started in Ezekiel and am now in 2 John. Lots of helps in there for recovery. Who knows it might be exactly what you need too.

 

[Lemmiwinks]

Some lies in my mind that have kept me in my sins have been:

-I am unlovable as i am
-Sex is the most important thing in life
-My sexual desires are dirty
-Therefore I must fulfill them in secret using porn

 

[Johnnz]

A broken marriage doesn't deactivate your sex drive. That's why you are still interested in sexual material and activity. You are not at all unusual or abnormal, just very human.

John
NZ

 

[John-Phillip]

Hi Sparkyred (not sure if you are still reading this but anyway...)

I would say: share with a good trusted female Christian friend (a 'real' one I mean not just on here) and pray together. Confess to each other if possible (neutralises the power of the enemy).

Also try fasting. I sometimes do a breakfast/lunch fast until I get home and then the meal at home is like a celebration if I have managed to stay 'clean'

Do you get much exercise?..regular exercise helps to keep your body under better control. I dont know how but I think it does. It disciplines your mind.

Lastly porn and masturbation are not the same things of course. Porn is just evil and is a corruption of God's plan for human sexuality: avoid at all costs. I believe that God hates the porn industry but he realises how easy it is to fall (its always a click away!!!!). Do your best and trust that God is big enough to love and forgive you. He is amazing at times (thinking of my own failures). Remember Christ died for sinners like us. Hope that helps.