- May 31, 2022
- 42
- 50
- 37
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Catholic
- Marital Status
- Single
Looking forward to reading through the posts archived here.
I likely won't make any new threads here unless the search feature fails me.
My introduction to the Lord was from a very young age. However my parents never really went to church and eventually we grew as a family more atheist than agnostic.
I enjoyed arguing with young Christians as a young adult; as I found Hell an easy target. It makes most Christians uncomfortable and simply asking questions about it was enough to really stump my Christian opponents.
After years of traveling the country and really searching for the "answers to life and everything" I eventually had a sense of God.
It was just a sense, I encountered odd things and people, if I failed at finding my way I suddenly and easily helped along. I felt this invisible influence and decided to call it "The background".
I grew attracted to the Spirituality of the Western US. Which is heavily New Age and Bhuddist. I went to spiritual retreats, native american sweat lodges, and Bhuddist multi-week silent retreats.
All searching for answers to what exactly is this "Background" that seems to be causing odd helpful Coincidences all the time while I hitch-hike and travel around the country.
I settled down and started working close to where my parents would be. After years of traveling alone. I lived the regular secular life, dating apps, drinking and partying, seeking pleasure always.
However, I never forgot all those spiritual practices I had been taught. So I combined them, and started to really delve deep into meditation and spiritual "contact" attempts.
What a huge mistake, which would be a blessing in disguise. As you can imagine, strange things started happening in my home. I noticed completely solid black humanoid shapes would walk along my walls. They looked like shadows (no depth) but we're unmistakeable. Even one of my girlfriend's and my brother witnessed one each on separate occasions while they visited me.
I started to have terrible night terrors EVERY night. I even got used to it and learned how to astral project. And these things would be waiting for me. Initially I got punched in the face, but I'm stupid, and persistent. Pain, doesn't really stop me especially if I know there is more to learn.
Eventually I started interacting with these things, vile as they are. I learned they don"t like questions and when they cannot gain anything from you, simply attack, usually, sexually.
It didn't take long for me to discover drinking made the night terrors go away. So I quickly became an alcoholic. No more spiritual delving for me. However, after about 5-6 years of constant drinking my health started to deteriorate. I tried to stop, but the night terrors began again, and the shadowy figures re-appeared.
I cried out for help, "Jesus, if you're real. I need to know. I'm killing myself with this alcohol and I can't stop. If you can, if you're real. I need you."
That's when everything went still, I was afraid at first. Something had changed, no, is changing. This warmth began to fill me, it was love like only a Grandparent or mother could give, but wait a minute, it's getting stronger. What IS this!?
"Jesus?" I asked and suddenly the feeling burst into an extreme form of that same love, vibrating my chest so hard it made me sore for over a week.
It was almost too much to bear and tears were streaming down my face. I knew then, He really is real. There is no doubt.
For about 2 weeks I was absolutely glowing, I had no inclination to Sin. Every verse I randomly read in my Bible on first opening felt like a message just for me. It was amazing, I asked for guidance to a church and found one.
It wasn't what I was hoping for but after years of trying other churches now I have returned to that first one I was led to.
I'm still learning, I fell down very quickly after the 2 weeks of buzzing on the spirit. It was amazing how much Sin I was able to backslide into. But Loving Christ, has slowly transformed me. I'm nothing like I used to be; and God willing I have much further to go.
I hope to learn from you all. If you read this far, God bless you! And have mercy on me!
I likely won't make any new threads here unless the search feature fails me.
My introduction to the Lord was from a very young age. However my parents never really went to church and eventually we grew as a family more atheist than agnostic.
I enjoyed arguing with young Christians as a young adult; as I found Hell an easy target. It makes most Christians uncomfortable and simply asking questions about it was enough to really stump my Christian opponents.
After years of traveling the country and really searching for the "answers to life and everything" I eventually had a sense of God.
It was just a sense, I encountered odd things and people, if I failed at finding my way I suddenly and easily helped along. I felt this invisible influence and decided to call it "The background".
I grew attracted to the Spirituality of the Western US. Which is heavily New Age and Bhuddist. I went to spiritual retreats, native american sweat lodges, and Bhuddist multi-week silent retreats.
All searching for answers to what exactly is this "Background" that seems to be causing odd helpful Coincidences all the time while I hitch-hike and travel around the country.
I settled down and started working close to where my parents would be. After years of traveling alone. I lived the regular secular life, dating apps, drinking and partying, seeking pleasure always.
However, I never forgot all those spiritual practices I had been taught. So I combined them, and started to really delve deep into meditation and spiritual "contact" attempts.
What a huge mistake, which would be a blessing in disguise. As you can imagine, strange things started happening in my home. I noticed completely solid black humanoid shapes would walk along my walls. They looked like shadows (no depth) but we're unmistakeable. Even one of my girlfriend's and my brother witnessed one each on separate occasions while they visited me.
I started to have terrible night terrors EVERY night. I even got used to it and learned how to astral project. And these things would be waiting for me. Initially I got punched in the face, but I'm stupid, and persistent. Pain, doesn't really stop me especially if I know there is more to learn.
Eventually I started interacting with these things, vile as they are. I learned they don"t like questions and when they cannot gain anything from you, simply attack, usually, sexually.
It didn't take long for me to discover drinking made the night terrors go away. So I quickly became an alcoholic. No more spiritual delving for me. However, after about 5-6 years of constant drinking my health started to deteriorate. I tried to stop, but the night terrors began again, and the shadowy figures re-appeared.
I cried out for help, "Jesus, if you're real. I need to know. I'm killing myself with this alcohol and I can't stop. If you can, if you're real. I need you."
That's when everything went still, I was afraid at first. Something had changed, no, is changing. This warmth began to fill me, it was love like only a Grandparent or mother could give, but wait a minute, it's getting stronger. What IS this!?
"Jesus?" I asked and suddenly the feeling burst into an extreme form of that same love, vibrating my chest so hard it made me sore for over a week.
It was almost too much to bear and tears were streaming down my face. I knew then, He really is real. There is no doubt.
For about 2 weeks I was absolutely glowing, I had no inclination to Sin. Every verse I randomly read in my Bible on first opening felt like a message just for me. It was amazing, I asked for guidance to a church and found one.
It wasn't what I was hoping for but after years of trying other churches now I have returned to that first one I was led to.
I'm still learning, I fell down very quickly after the 2 weeks of buzzing on the spirit. It was amazing how much Sin I was able to backslide into. But Loving Christ, has slowly transformed me. I'm nothing like I used to be; and God willing I have much further to go.
I hope to learn from you all. If you read this far, God bless you! And have mercy on me!
