• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.

puffca

Veteran
Mar 25, 2007
2,364
219
46
NY
✟26,080.00
Faith
Presbyterian
Marital Status
Married
I think they like big guys at least more than skinny guys.
(Sigh... I eat and eat, why don't I grow more muscles? )


 
Upvote 0

savvy

I always finish what I....
Jul 30, 2004
1,039
74
Memphis, TN
✟1,560.00
Faith
Atheist
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Libertarian
It is so subjective, isn't it?
Personally, I'm not attracted to large men. I don't like the feeling that I could be overpowered or maybe I find it physically intimidating. Goes back the the days when my brother had his growth spurt and became a giant, thus capable of paying me back for all the terrible things I did to him up to that point. Hehe.
My love muffin these days only weighs about 15 lbs. more than me and is 3 inches shorter, lol. But he is athletic...can carry me up stairs (I was impressed), got a bit of muscle (mmmm).
But most females I know prefer a guy who is more physically imposing and buff.
 
Upvote 0

Inkachu

Bursting with fruit flavor!
Jan 31, 2008
35,357
4,220
Somewhere between Rivendell and Rohan
✟77,996.00
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
I think you've hit on something very key, Savvy. I think we're attracted to guys based on experiences in our childhoods, at least in large part. I know I grew up in a very insecure, frightening environment, so a guy who is massively huge would just make me feel very safe, and that's what I like and want. That isn't to say I don't like other body types; I've dated short guys and skinny guys, too, and loved them very much. But when it comes to basic, instinctual attraction, the big guys do it for me.
 
Upvote 0

Wren

Well-Known Member
Dec 19, 2006
13,844
2,416
PNW
✟48,144.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Presbyterian
Marital Status
Married
I hadn't thought of it like that before Savvy and Inka. I prefer not to date guys near or above 6ft tall. I grew up with abusive step-fathers who were tall (both a few inches over 6ft) and used their height to intimidate. So, I tend to find tall guys (especially tall guys who are not skinny) to be somewhat intimidating and, therefore, not attractive; I don't find intimidation sexy. If the guy was short but bigger (very muscular or overweight), it would depend a lot on his personality if his size would be a problem.
 
Upvote 0

Inkachu

Bursting with fruit flavor!
Jan 31, 2008
35,357
4,220
Somewhere between Rivendell and Rohan
✟77,996.00
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
I find this totally fascinatin'! I knew that we (girls) tended to be attracted to men who either emulated our fathers (if we had superb, wonderful fathers) or seemed as if they could fulfill what our fathers never did (if we had crappy/non existent fathers). But I never thought it spilled over into the physical attraction until now. Innnnteresting, for sure!
 
Upvote 0

savvy

I always finish what I....
Jul 30, 2004
1,039
74
Memphis, TN
✟1,560.00
Faith
Atheist
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Libertarian

Huh. I was only half serious when I wrote that, but I think we're on to something. When I fought with my bro in our younger years I used to get super p.o'd that he could restrain me or pick me up so easily. Before then it was the other way around, I could give him swirlies and glue him together with superglue and stuff, ha. Then I got a taste of my own medicine and it bugged the crap out of me. I hate feeling completely powerless in that regard.
 
Upvote 0

JennyKatz

I'm a leaf on the wind. . .watch how I soar
Nov 27, 2008
736
53
Connecticut
Visit site
✟31,134.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I think they like big guys at least more than skinny guys.
(Sigh... I eat and eat, why don't I grow more muscles? )

Hey, skinny guys are hot, too, and there are plenty of girls who like skinny just as much as big.
 
Upvote 0

JennyKatz

I'm a leaf on the wind. . .watch how I soar
Nov 27, 2008
736
53
Connecticut
Visit site
✟31,134.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single

Being made to feel powerless sucks!
I'm 4'11, so I'm small enough that pretty much any guy can overpower me and I hate it. I have had male friends who take my littleness to mean that it's perfectly OK to pick me up and toss me over their shoulders or pin me and tickle me. It sounds innocent enough, but to be put in a situation where you are out of control and they don't listen when you tell them to stop whatever they're doing (I have oddly violent reactions to being tickled. I absolutely hate it), it's frustrating, because you can't make them stop. It's not fun being so vulnerable and unable to do anything about it.
I tend to date guys that are tall, so pretty much all of my boyfriends have been large enough to overpower me, but that's why you have to date someone you trust. You have to trust that they're not going to use their size to intimidate you.
 
Upvote 0

Niels

Woodshedding
Mar 6, 2005
17,459
4,795
North America
✟446,972.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Others
Men and women come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and their tastes aren't identical. Some women prefer big guys, and some women don't. One of my best friends in high school was an unusually big guy, and he was self-conscious about his size. He wondered if he would ever find a woman who loved him, but he did... and he married her a few years ago. His wife is fairly small, but she doesn't have anything to be afraid of. He's a gentle giant.

At about 6'2" and 190 lbs, I'm a good deal larger than most women myself, but I have no desire to overpower them. That wouldn't be right. In fact, the thought of doing so seems offensive to me.


Outside of a few sketchy articles (studies without adequate control groups), I've always heard that physical attraction/repulsion was primarily based on past experiences and associations. A woman who dearly loves her large father will tend to associate positive things with a big guy. She also has it in her genes. The same applies to other shapes and sizes. That kind of thinking is old as the hills. I'm actually surprised that somebody would find it so interesting... but I suppose that just goes to show that it's a big world, and people often see things from very different perspectives.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Windmill

Legend
Site Supporter
Dec 17, 2004
13,686
486
35
New Zealand
Visit site
✟83,797.00
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
In Relationship
I'm sure there are girls out there who are. I don't tend to be- I've never met a guy who was interesting in weighlifting and what-not and therefore "big" whose personality I clicked with. Generally, if they're into that sort of thing, they wouldn't be compaitable with my nerdiness. Usually very small guys fit that bill
 
Upvote 0

JennyKatz

I'm a leaf on the wind. . .watch how I soar
Nov 27, 2008
736
53
Connecticut
Visit site
✟31,134.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
This thread actually reminds me of my anthropology class. Last Friday we were split into groups (men in one, women in the other) and we basically had to list what we thought was the perfect man and the perfect woman. For every trait that one person said they preferred, another one named the opposite trait as being attractive. It was hard trying to come up with a list that thirteen women agreed on as being the "perfect" male.
 
Upvote 0