Hello!

[Jesus4Me24]

I'm new to this board. I, too, have BPD. Its not something I am proud of. I always thought if you were a Christian and strong in your faith, then mental problems wouldn't afflict you. As you can probably tell, this is really hard for me. I am a wife and mother, and this disease has affected all areas of my realtionships w my family. I distance myself away from them or pick a fight with them. Then I get upset b/c I did that, but don't know how to go back and change it. I am scared to death of ppl or going out in public places. I will literally sit at home for a wk or more just so I don't have to leave the house. I'm sure all of you that suffer from this have experience some of these sympotms. I gues I'm on here telling my story, b/c I am so happy that there is a Christian support group. Because sometimes my emotions go crazy and the ppl around me don't really understand what I'm going thru. Thank you for reading this and letting me tell how I was feeling.

 

[DR RekLaw]

Welcome

 

[Bryan519]

There's allot of healing in sahring. Bless you and welcome!

 

[madison1101]

I was 32 when I was diagnosed, and really struggled for a very long time. There is hope. With God, therapy, meds and a discipleship relationship, I have been able to free myself of the disorder. Two things were required of me, HARD WORK and PERSEVERANCE.

I hope you are in therapy. I also hope you will seek out an older Christian woman with whom you can have a discipleship relationship, and grow in the Lord as you work through your behaviors and thinking.

Trish

 

[Jesus4Me24]

Thanks Madison. I had someone that was older and I really turned too, but with us being military we had to move, and I haven't found anyone where I'm living at now I can talk to. Yes, I see a counselor, and he really helps me deal with it. For the most part I try and rely on God to get me thru what I'm experiencing. The hardest for me is my realtionship with my children. I dont' watn them to be affected by my disorder. That is my earnest prayer. I am trying to develop healthy realtionships with them, but this disease makes me want to push everyone I knwo and love away. Is that the case for other that are afflicted by this?

 

[Bryan519]

Thanks Madison. I had someone that was older and I really turned too, but with us being military we had to move, and I haven't found anyone where I'm living at now I can talk to. Yes, I see a counselor, and he really helps me deal with it. For the most part I try and rely on God to get me thru what I'm experiencing. The hardest for me is my realtionship with my children. I dont' watn them to be affected by my disorder. That is my earnest prayer. I am trying to develop healthy realtionships with them, but this disease makes me want to push everyone I knwo and love away. Is that the case for other that are afflicted by this?

Absolutely. That is the viscious paradox of BPD. People, like myself, who suffer from BPD tend to sabotage the very relationships they cling to, then in a desperate attempt to avoid perceived abandonment, engage in self-destructive behaviors. I found going through DBT to be very helpful. I have come to learn allot about myself in fighting this disorder.

 

[DR RekLaw]

Absolutely. That is the viscious paradox of BPD. People, like myself, who suffer from BPD tend to sabotage the very relationships they cling to, then in a desperate attempt to avoid perceived abandonment, engage in self-destructive behaviors.




Boy if that isn't the truth I don't what is.

 

[madison1101]

Yes, it is normal for people with BPD to push people away, yet want to cling to them like crazy glue. Great paradox.

The thing that has helped me tremendously, in addition to my therapist, my discipler and a lot of prayer is family therapy opportunities I have had with my grown children since my divorce. I was in treatment for binge eating disorder and had the opportunity to have each of my grown children in a session with me, individually. They set the boundaries for me, while reassuring me of their love for me. We have had great relationships since then, and that was 3 years ago. My children are very forgiving, and have really done remarkably well in spite of growing up in the chaos of a borderline mother's world. I attribute a lot of the success of our relationships to me getting better, and to their father for not being bitter and souring them against me in the divorce 8 years ago.

There is a great book for the families of people with BPD called "Stop Walking on Eggshells." My husband bought each of my kids a copy of it to read. I have not read it, but he recommends it to anyone in a relationship with someone with BPD.

Family therapy is always a good idea if there are complex relationship issues. Just be open to hearing what they say, and try not to be defensive.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[Jesus4Me24]

My kids are still young: 9, 7, & 4, so I don't know if a book will help the younger two. It might help my oldest. Its so ironic that the very thing we love and want the most we tend to try and sabatoge. My therapist and prayer is helping me, I can not wait for the day I'll fully be cured. I guess I'm just having faith on that one.

Thank you all for your input, its so refreshing to talk to someone who is affected by this as well.

 

[Tenebrae]

hey there

Its definately a journey, so dont be too hard on yourself if you dont get everything sorted all at once.

When things were really rocky for me, I found DBT a really good type of therapy, it gave me new ways of dealing with situations. Still have rocky moments however because of what I've learnt over the last 10 years, I've got more helpful skills of dealing now

If you are interested this site gives you a good over view of what its about as well links to DBT providers in the States