Hello ...

[Fairydust]

Hi im fairydust, i have was abused for 15 years when i was a child, and now 9 years later, i am still struggling
with it, i have tried to forget it, and to look foward but
it still has a hold on me. I dont speak to my mother, and she pretends nothing happend.
Im scared, as i have done allot of things that make me feel as though its because of what happend.
is there anyone that knows exactly how to get through this???

 

[tapero]

Hi im fairydust, i have was abused for 15 years when i was a child, and now 9 years later, i am still struggling
with it, i have tried to forget it, and to look foward but
it still has a hold on me. I dont speak to my mother, and she pretends nothing happend.
Im scared, as i have done allot of things that make me feel as though its because of what happend.
is there anyone that knows exactly how to get through this???

Hi hon,

I'm glad you wrote. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. I hope someone here can give you more information than I can, but my suggestion is if you haven't already to get into counseling; whether at school, if your in college or through a private counselor.

All you went thru does affect your life today and talking with someone helping you through it like a counselor will help you through and help you through each day.

You are precious and my heart aches you've been through all this.

God bless,
tapero

 

[Born2Serve06]

Been there. I think as a survivor of abuse you go through many stages and sometimes you take a step back again and have to start all over.

First step is seek professional help or support group. This will help you to know that you are not alone. I found a really good website www.dailystrength.org

Then you have to reach forgiveness. If you don't forgive it will be like a disease and eat you from the inside out.

I PM me anytime if you need to talk.

 

[Surviving]

Hey there! Welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry to hear about what you have been through and are going through. I was sexually abused for 4 years when I was young, and that was 14 years ago. I am only starting to get over what has happened to me now. It takes quite a while, and only when you are ready can you start to deal with issues. It's only when I started to go to counseling that I realised that some of what I do is related to my past. I would urge you to seek someone professionally to talk to. It has done me the world of good.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Hi im fairydust, i have was abused for 15 years when i was a child, and now 9 years later, i am still struggling
with it, i have tried to forget it, and to look foward but
it still has a hold on me. I dont speak to my mother, and she pretends nothing happend.
Im scared, as i have done allot of things that make me feel as though its because of what happend.
is there anyone that knows exactly how to get through this???

Hi Fairydust,

I think you've received some good feedback. I too am a survivor of abuse. I don't post here a lot, but stop in from time to time. I'm glad you've posted.

I agree with those who suggested professional help, and would encourage you to see if there is a support group available in 3D. Everyone's experience of healing is a little different, but all of us go through healing 1 step at a time. I would suggest one of your first steps be to find a professional counseling who can help you go through the stages of healing.

In Him,
Kristen

 

[s_gunter]

Hi im fairydust, i have was abused for 15 years when i was a child, and now 9 years later, i am still struggling
with it, i have tried to forget it, and to look foward but
it still has a hold on me. I dont speak to my mother, and she pretends nothing happend.
Im scared, as i have done allot of things that make me feel as though its because of what happend.
is there anyone that knows exactly how to get through this???

I don't know the nature of the abuse you took, so I don't know how much of this could apply to you. But, this is how I could finally get through the abuse I took.

I had to move far away from my abusers, which are my parents in order to be safe. I had to be away from them so that they couldn't just show up at my door and force their way in, or manipulate their way in. Of course, that also led to me changing my phone number and address, therefore, they couldn't abuse me in writing or verbally. When I moved away, I didn't have all the reminders of it all around me. I didn't give my phone number and address to them for a long while, so they couldn't contact me, which only reminded me of the abuse since it was still occurring, and would still occur if I gave them contact info.

After I felt safe in my new location, I was able to set up boundaries relating to them, since it's a personal belief that it's wrong to disown your own parents. I wanted safe contact with them. I was able to finally develop the strength to enforce those boundaries. It worked really well for me. Forgiveness came easier. I was able to see what I had been blessed with instead of always guarding myself and feeling the pain of it all. No, it's not a perfect solution, but it helped me greatly.

 

[VioletLady]

I don't know the nature of the abuse you took, so I don't know how much of this could apply to you. But, this is how I could finally get through the abuse I took.

I had to move far away from my abusers, which are my parents in order to be safe. I had to be away from them so that they couldn't just show up at my door and force their way in, or manipulate their way in. Of course, that also led to me changing my phone number and address, therefore, they couldn't abuse me in writing or verbally. When I moved away, I didn't have all the reminders of it all around me. I didn't give my phone number and address to them for a long while, so they couldn't contact me, which only reminded me of the abuse since it was still occurring, and would still occur if I gave them contact info.

After I felt safe in my new location, I was able to set up boundaries relating to them, since it's a personal belief that it's wrong to disown your own parents. I wanted safe contact with them. I was able to finally develop the strength to enforce those boundaries. It worked really well for me. Forgiveness came easier. I was able to see what I had been blessed with instead of always guarding myself and feeling the pain of it all. No, it's not a perfect solution, but it helped me greatly.

I took the same steps too.

Bless you Fairydust, and welcome to Foru.ms! How are you today?

xxxxxxx

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

I don't know the nature of the abuse you took, so I don't know how much of this could apply to you. But, this is how I could finally get through the abuse I took.

I had to move far away from my abusers, which are my parents in order to be safe. I had to be away from them so that they couldn't just show up at my door and force their way in, or manipulate their way in. Of course, that also led to me changing my phone number and address, therefore, they couldn't abuse me in writing or verbally. When I moved away, I didn't have all the reminders of it all around me. I didn't give my phone number and address to them for a long while, so they couldn't contact me, which only reminded me of the abuse since it was still occurring, and would still occur if I gave them contact info.

After I felt safe in my new location, I was able to set up boundaries relating to them, since it's a personal belief that it's wrong to disown your own parents. I wanted safe contact with them. I was able to finally develop the strength to enforce those boundaries. It worked really well for me. Forgiveness came easier. I was able to see what I had been blessed with instead of always guarding myself and feeling the pain of it all. No, it's not a perfect solution, but it helped me greatly.

I did this as well... I moved away and didn't even contact my biological brothers for several years. When they didn't prove trustworthy I moved and did not let them know as well. I miss them but better to be safe than not.