I've been posting mainly in the bipolar forum. I posted a few times here and come back from time to time to read your posts. It's been encouraging to know that others have dealt with the same insanity. I am bipolar and was in the mental hospital early 2008 after a General Practitioner (not a pdoc) gave me an antidepressant that sent me manic.
Over time I've had more and more problems with OCD, with everything from blasphemous thoughts to fears of losing salvation, not unlike many here. Grantley Morris' net-burst website has provided me with some help in these areas; it's helped to see that the enemy wants me to get so freaked out about the dark thoughts that I doubt Christ's work on the cross. The verses about ALL of our sins being covered by the blood of Christ he has on there are great.
About 2 weeks ago I started tapering off a dose of a mood stabilizer and it's been much harder than usual. I've had racing thoughts since then - it's been like having OCD/dark thoughts on steriods. A fear thought gets in there and then plays at 78 rpm.
I can't take anti-depressants (have been through 10) because they do far more damage than good, which is what usually happens with BP.
Any tips for coping are appreciated. My (Christian) therapist last week recommended The OCD workbook, and I've read a bit about CBT. Grantley Morris likens it to "letting the spiders crawl all over you" and "resisting the anxiety instead of the thoughts." I've had a hard time doing this and have been more apt to quote Scripture to counter the dark thoughts, but there are times when it's like a crazy mental ping pong ball match. I spend time in God's word every morning to get my head screwed on straight... I can't imagine my day without it.
Over time I've had more and more problems with OCD, with everything from blasphemous thoughts to fears of losing salvation, not unlike many here. Grantley Morris' net-burst website has provided me with some help in these areas; it's helped to see that the enemy wants me to get so freaked out about the dark thoughts that I doubt Christ's work on the cross. The verses about ALL of our sins being covered by the blood of Christ he has on there are great.
About 2 weeks ago I started tapering off a dose of a mood stabilizer and it's been much harder than usual. I've had racing thoughts since then - it's been like having OCD/dark thoughts on steriods. A fear thought gets in there and then plays at 78 rpm.
I can't take anti-depressants (have been through 10) because they do far more damage than good, which is what usually happens with BP.
Any tips for coping are appreciated. My (Christian) therapist last week recommended The OCD workbook, and I've read a bit about CBT. Grantley Morris likens it to "letting the spiders crawl all over you" and "resisting the anxiety instead of the thoughts." I've had a hard time doing this and have been more apt to quote Scripture to counter the dark thoughts, but there are times when it's like a crazy mental ping pong ball match. I spend time in God's word every morning to get my head screwed on straight... I can't imagine my day without it.
I'm sure you will see a lot of things you can relate to here and you will find a pretty caring group of people willing to support and pray for you as you need it.
