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<blockquote data-quote="cmleung" data-source="post: 73370027" data-attributes="member: 414504"><p>There is a lot of helpful responses. Please allow me to add mine, this should give you some direction and comfort, but it requires diligence as well in prayers and trusts in the Lord.</p><p>1. I agree with HTacianas, it is time for some tough love.</p><p>In Proverbs 23:13-14 "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. if you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol." </p><p>In Proverbs 19:18 "Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death."</p><p>Discipline doesn't mean you don't love him. If you need to kick him out, or that he needed to be disciplined in the prison system, then so be it. It is fortunate that you are in the US, because he will hear the words of the Lord in prison. </p><p>2. The prodigal son parable. </p><p>I am not saying you should just let him do whatever he wants. But ultimately, if this is what he needs to go through on his own in order for him to see the light, then let it be so. The Lord has his own timing and plans to each one of us, including your son. You, by letting him 'go' so to speak, requires you to have strong faith in the Lord, and this faith and trust will give you peace.</p><p>3. Ask yourself this questions. Why do you feel anguish if he gets in prison? What is your feeling about him getting into even more trouble with drugs, his anger, his violence, and think deeper into where these feelings are rooted from? Do you have an expectation on your son and that he is not what 'society' expected, and therefore reflect bad on you, which lead to self-blame, depression, anxiety, and shame?</p><p>These questions might sound foolish or even insensitive. Of course, all mothers (maybe not all, unfortunately) worried about their child getting into any type of trouble and in the case of your son, letting him go 'to his friends' is even sending him into the dark pit of bad and evil influence. Because if your actions and expectations of your son are not out of love, but of what your ego wanted to make yourself feel good and at peace, then the action is not a wise one. A mental health professional such as a counselor or psychologist will be able to help. </p><p>4. Pray diligently, ask Jesus for help. Jesus said, "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light". Most importantly, pray that you forgive your son, and his friends, and whatever that is going wrong. Pray that He will guide your son and get him out of darkness if He is willing.</p><p>5. Hate the sin, not the person.</p><p>6. He might not listen to you, but try your best to find community and social supports locally. Put the leaflets around. Have the options and awareness of those supports ready, for both you and your son. When he is in crisis himself, you never know he might just find help himself through little pamphlets hanging around the kitchen table without telling anyone. And most of all, find support for yourself at your church and your community. God does not intent for us to walk alone. </p><p>You will be in prayer.</p><p>God bless you</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="cmleung, post: 73370027, member: 414504"] There is a lot of helpful responses. Please allow me to add mine, this should give you some direction and comfort, but it requires diligence as well in prayers and trusts in the Lord. 1. I agree with HTacianas, it is time for some tough love. In Proverbs 23:13-14 "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. if you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol." In Proverbs 19:18 "Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death." Discipline doesn't mean you don't love him. If you need to kick him out, or that he needed to be disciplined in the prison system, then so be it. It is fortunate that you are in the US, because he will hear the words of the Lord in prison. 2. The prodigal son parable. I am not saying you should just let him do whatever he wants. But ultimately, if this is what he needs to go through on his own in order for him to see the light, then let it be so. The Lord has his own timing and plans to each one of us, including your son. You, by letting him 'go' so to speak, requires you to have strong faith in the Lord, and this faith and trust will give you peace. 3. Ask yourself this questions. Why do you feel anguish if he gets in prison? What is your feeling about him getting into even more trouble with drugs, his anger, his violence, and think deeper into where these feelings are rooted from? Do you have an expectation on your son and that he is not what 'society' expected, and therefore reflect bad on you, which lead to self-blame, depression, anxiety, and shame? These questions might sound foolish or even insensitive. Of course, all mothers (maybe not all, unfortunately) worried about their child getting into any type of trouble and in the case of your son, letting him go 'to his friends' is even sending him into the dark pit of bad and evil influence. Because if your actions and expectations of your son are not out of love, but of what your ego wanted to make yourself feel good and at peace, then the action is not a wise one. A mental health professional such as a counselor or psychologist will be able to help. 4. Pray diligently, ask Jesus for help. Jesus said, "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light". Most importantly, pray that you forgive your son, and his friends, and whatever that is going wrong. Pray that He will guide your son and get him out of darkness if He is willing. 5. Hate the sin, not the person. 6. He might not listen to you, but try your best to find community and social supports locally. Put the leaflets around. Have the options and awareness of those supports ready, for both you and your son. When he is in crisis himself, you never know he might just find help himself through little pamphlets hanging around the kitchen table without telling anyone. And most of all, find support for yourself at your church and your community. God does not intent for us to walk alone. You will be in prayer. God bless you [/QUOTE]
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