Hi everybody. I'm back. I actually got back on Monday, but I have been so very busy, I have had no time to post. It is now 4:12 and by all rights I should be in bed, but I didn't want to go to bed without posting because tomorrow is going to be busy and I just wanted to post. I am very very very sorry I didn't post sooner. For those who don't know me, I am a woman who was diagnosed with bipolar about two years ago after a long and unsuccessful career as an anti-depressant guinea pig. I wasn't doing too well, and my doctor put me on Abilify, which gave me really bad, obsessive suicidal feelings. I ranted and raved a little on this forum, then, with lots of support from the people here, particularly Shalia and Steph (and many others too numerous to name) decided to go inpatient. Well, I am back.
I got off the Abilify. My suicidal thoughts are greatly lessoned. They put me on Geodon (sp) which has been working wonders with me. Technically, its an anti-psychotic, but it is also being used as a mood stabilizer. My ups and downs became much less only a few days after starting Geodon. The fastest response to a medicine I ever had. They also weaned me off of Anafranil and increased my Effexor, and were weaning me off of Depakote. I will be off Depakote in a week, and I'm thrilled about that because it never worked anyway. They (or rather, my doctor in there, who was nice) also put me on Lamictal, but it won't be up to a theraputic dose for two more weeks. I had some bothersome side effects at first, but those seem to be gone or going.
I gained a lot of insights at the hospital. It wasn't fun being inpatient, but it wasn't too bad, either. I went to all the groups this time (except for the first day, because I got in at 2 am the night before and needed to sleep) I also got to talk to my counselors a lot, and some of them knew me. My roommate for part of the time was a Christian and she gave me a devotional. One of my counselors turned out to be a Christian too and SHE gave me a devotional, The Battlefield for the Mind by Joyce Meyer. I dont' know if anyone here knows of it. I haven't started it yet, I'm still on the other devotional. God is truly great to surround me with Christians even in the hospital. He is truly an awesome and wonderful God.
I still have struggles, some I'm not ready to mention, so I could still use a lot of prayer. But I wanted to say I am out, I am ok, and I will be posting more, God willing. Shalia and Steph, I will write to you soon.
I got off the Abilify. My suicidal thoughts are greatly lessoned. They put me on Geodon (sp) which has been working wonders with me. Technically, its an anti-psychotic, but it is also being used as a mood stabilizer. My ups and downs became much less only a few days after starting Geodon. The fastest response to a medicine I ever had. They also weaned me off of Anafranil and increased my Effexor, and were weaning me off of Depakote. I will be off Depakote in a week, and I'm thrilled about that because it never worked anyway. They (or rather, my doctor in there, who was nice) also put me on Lamictal, but it won't be up to a theraputic dose for two more weeks. I had some bothersome side effects at first, but those seem to be gone or going.
I gained a lot of insights at the hospital. It wasn't fun being inpatient, but it wasn't too bad, either. I went to all the groups this time (except for the first day, because I got in at 2 am the night before and needed to sleep) I also got to talk to my counselors a lot, and some of them knew me. My roommate for part of the time was a Christian and she gave me a devotional. One of my counselors turned out to be a Christian too and SHE gave me a devotional, The Battlefield for the Mind by Joyce Meyer. I dont' know if anyone here knows of it. I haven't started it yet, I'm still on the other devotional. God is truly great to surround me with Christians even in the hospital. He is truly an awesome and wonderful God.
I still have struggles, some I'm not ready to mention, so I could still use a lot of prayer. But I wanted to say I am out, I am ok, and I will be posting more, God willing. Shalia and Steph, I will write to you soon.
