Hello I need answers

I struggled with my faith for 40 years. But for most of it, my heart was hard and I was even hostile toward Christ. The few times someone would try to re-introduce me to Jesus, I would shut the whole conversation down. And I even got fired from a job because of this.

I believe that I was punished over the years because of this; from dealing with a lot of hostile people and high stress work environments. Eventually, this landed me in hospital psyche wards and diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Im still taking the medications for it today.

What Im trying to say is there may be consequences in your life for not having a relationship with God as I did.

"You may be sure your sins will find you out." Numbers 32:23.

Ultimately, it was these consequences that finally woke me up as I grew tired of suffering. So yes, I believe the Lord is calling to you, and He will never stop pursuing you either.

I think you should do yourself a favor and surrender to Christ as I did. Establish a relationship with the Lord and live a Christian life; go to church, read the Bible, pray. Its not always easy, but yet Im much happier which makes it easier in a sense.

Sometimes church gets in the way of faith. I'm not going to be one of those people trying to push a particular denomination, but I will say this: try a different one from before.

I went through an atheist phase myself. There's not much merit to being an atheist, but there's a lot of merit to having been one and then graduating from it. I look back on that time as paying the dues for real spiritual growth.

We can never really understand and appreciate a thing without a basis of comparison.

Douglas-360 said:

I posted this in the introduction forum, but I thought it might be better answered here.

"Hello, My name is Douglas, I am 27 years old, and I am from and live in Nevada. Since i was born I was raised to believe in Christ. I was baptized a catholic, but sadly I never went to church much. I did read the bible a lot though. in 2009 I lost my faith in Christ do to personal reasons, and I went on a spiritual journey to find myself. I ended up deciding, that I was an atheist and no longer believed in christ... And I felt okay with that, for about 4 years, but this past year or so, I have had these conflicting feelings, like something is calling me back to Christ. I have had this urge to know more about Jesus, and been even reading the gospels lately. What are these feelings? What should i do? I feel like something is missing in my life. I feel like part of me wants to go back to Jesus,but other parts are scared to. I am just very confused" Any advice would be appreciated

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Hello. First of all I was almost exactly like you. When I was raised in the church and fell away at a young age but went back in my early twenties, strayed away but a few months back got a very strong call back. Believe it or not, through chatting online with many people, I've come to realize that a lot of people like us have gotten the same call along with many people that have said they've never even thought about GOD but a couple of months ago out of the blue all of a sudden had a strong urge, they've either thought about their own mortality or just all of a sudden wondered what it was all about and felt a pull toward Christianity. For lack of a better term I've started calling this a great re-awakening and I don't think it's for no reason because even though I've been saved I haven't felt this strongly ever in my life a dedication. Since I don't mean to offend but I do mean to speak the truth I do want you to truly come closer to Christ. Find a different church to go to. If You fell out of the Catholic religion it held no meaning for you. I don't endorse denominations but if you feel you want to go to a church (I think talking to people is just is good and sometimes better) I suggest a baptist church. I opened my Kings James Bible for the first time in years thinking since I've read it a few times I wasn't going to learn anything new and I was amazed that not only did I forget so much, I had so much wrong and confused most of what I remembered. You're feeling a pull because it's important, very important. Please listen.

Douglas-360 said:

I feel like part of me wants to go back to Jesus,but other parts are scared to.

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How well do you understand these feelings, and do you need help with that?

Douglas-360 said:

this past year or so, I have had these conflicting feelings, like something is calling me back to Christ. I have had this urge to know more about Jesus, and been even reading the gospels lately. What are these feelings? What should i do? I feel like something is missing in my life. I feel like part of me wants to go back to Jesus,but other parts are scared to. I am just very confused"

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Hi Douglas,
Holy Spirit is definitely wooing you back. We were made for intimate fellowship with our loving Creator, and nothing - as in nothing - in this world can substitute for it. Solomon found that out during his futile search toward the end of his life, recorded in Ecclesiastes.

This is reason for great joy and encouragement. Don't be deterred by the confusion. Neither let fear stop you. You may have gotten false impressions of God while growing up. I did, and I dare say almost all do, and usually they have to do with religious performance. It puts the weight of the relationship on us, and usually results in a sense of condemnation. This is a projection from the way we were raised, and often is even ratified by the church itself, and has nothing to do with the actual new covenant Jesus has established with us, which is based on grace given freely in love, totally paid for by His completed work on our behalf.

It is excellent that you are in the Gospels. Go directly to the source. Throw in some of the Epistles, or Acts when you are so led. Find what you need to feed on. That could include other writings, such as Mere Christianity by Lewis. And when the time is right, check out some churches and see if there's one that meets you where you are. You are on the right path. All heaven rejoices when one lamb returns to its Shepherd.

I once had a very vivid dream in which I was present at the return of Christ. Initially, I found that my flesh wanted to run away and be buried by the mountains, while my spirit reached out for Christ. A terrifying and beautiful experience, but I knew that I wanted more of that joy of reaching out for Christ.

Douglas-360 said:

I posted this in the introduction forum, but I thought it might be better answered here.

"Hello, My name is Douglas, I am 27 years old, and I am from and live in Nevada. Since i was born I was raised to believe in Christ. I was baptized a catholic, but sadly I never went to church much. I did read the bible a lot though. in 2009 I lost my faith in Christ do to personal reasons, and I went on a spiritual journey to find myself. I ended up deciding, that I was an atheist and no longer believed in christ... And I felt okay with that, for about 4 years, but this past year or so, I have had these conflicting feelings, like something is calling me back to Christ. I have had this urge to know more about Jesus, and been even reading the gospels lately. What are these feelings? What should i do? I feel like something is missing in my life. I feel like part of me wants to go back to Jesus,but other parts are scared to. I am just very confused" Any advice would be appreciated

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I don't believe you really came to know Christ deeply and personally the first time around. But you can now. Many people fall away cause they don't get their major questions answered. Theres no need for that to occur , not with the internet and Church Pastors you can sit down with . I don't believe you have become an atheist either im afraid ; at least its not based on a lack of evidence for Gods existence . This great book will help you see that ---

What you need to do now, is :
1. Get into a good local evangelical church and not a church which places madeup tradition over Gods Word.
2. Join a class on the fundamental of Christianity so you can ask questions in a group setting. Sit with the Senior Pastor also.
3. Spend time in prayer asking God to reveal himself in your life, and he will do so.
4. Read Gods Word daily : Read particularly : Psalm 139 , Ephesians 2:8-10 , Romans 10:8-14 for starters.
5. Surround yourself with Christians more than Non Christians and ask them about their Christian walk .

I think God is drawing you currently , so allow him to do that and take some proactive moves in that direction . Watch how your live changes , for, it will.

paul1149 said:

Hi Douglas,
Holy Spirit is definitely wooing you back. We were made for intimate fellowship with our loving Creator, and nothing - as in nothing - in this world can substitute for it. Solomon found that out during his futile search toward the end of his life, recorded in Ecclesiastes.

This is reason for great joy and encouragement. Don't be deterred by the confusion. Neither let fear stop you. You may have gotten false impressions of God while growing up. I did, and I dare say almost all do, and usually they have to do with religious performance. It puts the weight of the relationship on us, and usually results in a sense of condemnation. This is a projection from the way we were raised, and often is even ratified by the church itself, and has nothing to do with the actual new covenant Jesus has established with us, which is based on grace given freely in love, totally paid for by His completed work on our behalf.

It is excellent that you are in the Gospels. Go directly to the source. Throw in some of the Epistles, or Acts when you are so led. Find what you need to feed on. That could include other writings, such as Mere Christianity by Lewis. And when the time is right, check out some churches and see if there's one that meets you where you are. You are on the right path. All heaven rejoices when one lamb returns to its Shepherd.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” -Matt 11:28-30​

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Good advice!

Douglas-360 said:

I posted this in the introduction forum, but I thought it might be better answered here.

"Hello, My name is Douglas, I am 27 years old, and I am from and live in Nevada. Since i was born I was raised to believe in Christ. I was baptized a catholic, but sadly I never went to church much. I did read the bible a lot though. in 2009 I lost my faith in Christ do to personal reasons, and I went on a spiritual journey to find myself. I ended up deciding, that I was an atheist and no longer believed in christ... And I felt okay with that, for about 4 years, but this past year or so, I have had these conflicting feelings, like something is calling me back to Christ. I have had this urge to know more about Jesus, and been even reading the gospels lately. What are these feelings? What should i do? I feel like something is missing in my life. I feel like part of me wants to go back to Jesus,but other parts are scared to. I am just very confused" Any advice would be appreciated

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Those "feelings" is likely God speaking to you as a "quickened" soul (one awakened to God by His Spirit). Start reading the Gospel by John as a good overview of God's plan to us. We all need a personal relationship with the Savior to have any part in God.

God's teaching is to love others like u love urself

This video will help explain the Love of Father and Son for this world.
This the story about a train that makes a mistake passing thru the red light
this train speaks about the world filled with all kind of ignorant people good and bad
the red light speaks about sin
Father let His Son dies to save the world
God let Jesus died on the cross but He resurrected Him as the only way to lighten the darkness of the people so the people may believe He has power over death.

You are not called to become a member of any church
But we are recommended to attend meetings of believers
Hebrew 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more,

Jesus is not a legend He shall return to gather the believers

Jesus bless u all HalleluYAH

God is bringing you near to Him. Don't ignore His promptings. Just surrender to Jesus..

Douglas-360 said:

I posted this in the introduction forum, but I thought it might be better answered here.

"Hello, My name is Douglas, I am 27 years old, and I am from and live in Nevada. Since i was born I was raised to believe in Christ. I was baptized a catholic, but sadly I never went to church much. I did read the bible a lot though. in 2009 I lost my faith in Christ do to personal reasons, and I went on a spiritual journey to find myself. I ended up deciding, that I was an atheist and no longer believed in christ... And I felt okay with that, for about 4 years, but this past year or so, I have had these conflicting feelings, like something is calling me back to Christ. I have had this urge to know more about Jesus, and been even reading the gospels lately. What are these feelings? What should i do? I feel like something is missing in my life. I feel like part of me wants to go back to Jesus,but other parts are scared to. I am just very confused" Any advice would be appreciated

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This post is over a month old, but if you're still around I'd like to offer my two cents:

As helpful as online communities such as this can be in many different ways, and as much as I see lots of good responses to these sorts of questions, and I certainly always try to be as helpful as possible, there's always going to be something fundamentally missing here. It can also be very frustrating for you and others with these sorts of inquiries because of all the diverse opinions you'll find, because you'll be getting answers from many different kinds of Christians. Christians from a very wide and diverse set of backgrounds and traditions, and with many different sets of experiences. That can be a good thing in a lot of ways, but it can also be very frustrating and off-putting when in a situation like yours.

Since you already have some background in Roman Catholicism, even if you were never really involved, that gives you a starting point I believe. Well trained pastors, such as Catholic priests, will usually have some experience in trying to be helpful to people who are feeling called back (or even called initially) to the faith. And having someone with some experience and with good people skills (and a good pastor should have good people skills) can be extraordinarily beneficial. In addition it means immersing oneself into a living, breathing community. You'll be able to try attending church, experiencing worship first hand, and if you want try classes offered at the church, most churches have classes available both for people brand new to the faith, for those just curious about the faith, or even for people who have been life-long church goers.

You don't need to go sign anything on any dotted lines, most mainstream Christian churches--such as Catholic churches--if they're doing things right and well won't push you to joining or anything like that, but will invite you to come, check things out, test the waters, see how things are done, and let you decide what you'll do on your own time. Indeed, in the case of Catholicism if one was never Catholic before there is what's called RCIA, or Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults and involves a year long period of catechesis--classes--which at the end, if one wants it, will receive Baptism (if they were not already baptized) and Confirmation. Again, this is the sort of thing you could talk with a priest about. Maybe you'll talk to your local priest and decide it's not for you--that's fine. Maybe you'll want to try out different churches, that's also completely fine.

Just know that there are options for how to go about pursuing how you're feeling about this, and that hopefully you don't or won't feel pressured or pushed.

I just thought I'd try and offer this as an option in case you were still curious or interested in pursuing these things. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you well.

-CryptoLutheran

Douglas-360 said:

I posted this in the introduction forum, but I thought it might be better answered here.

"Hello, My name is Douglas, I am 27 years old, and I am from and live in Nevada. Since i was born I was raised to believe in Christ. I was baptized a catholic, but sadly I never went to church much. I did read the bible a lot though. in 2009 I lost my faith in Christ do to personal reasons, and I went on a spiritual journey to find myself. I ended up deciding, that I was an atheist and no longer believed in christ... And I felt okay with that, for about 4 years, but this past year or so, I have had these conflicting feelings, like something is calling me back to Christ. I have had this urge to know more about Jesus, and been even reading the gospels lately. What are these feelings? What should i do? I feel like something is missing in my life. I feel like part of me wants to go back to Jesus,but other parts are scared to. I am just very confused" Any advice would be appreciated

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So you are saying that you lost your faith due to personal reasons of distressful circumstances? Just trying to understand, I am more of the person who gets off of intellectual objections and I like trying to understand where people's objections specifically lie.

Douglas-360 said:

I posted this in the introduction forum, but I thought it might be better answered here.

"Hello, My name is Douglas, I am 27 years old, and I am from and live in Nevada. Since i was born I was raised to believe in Christ. I was baptized a catholic, but sadly I never went to church much. I did read the bible a lot though. in 2009 I lost my faith in Christ do to personal reasons, and I went on a spiritual journey to find myself. I ended up deciding, that I was an atheist and no longer believed in christ... And I felt okay with that, for about 4 years, but this past year or so, I have had these conflicting feelings, like something is calling me back to Christ. I have had this urge to know more about Jesus, and been even reading the gospels lately. What are these feelings? What should i do? I feel like something is missing in my life. I feel like part of me wants to go back to Jesus,but other parts are scared to. I am just very confused" Any advice would be appreciated

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Good for you, friend. This is God calling you back to Him. I felt the same way as you do, growing up sort of teetering between agnostic and atheist. You could have shown me Jesus Christ face to face and I might have blown Him off as an alien from Star Trek or something. Eventually I felt those very same callings because I just couldn't shake the feeling that I was missing something and that I wasn't meant to be a mere part of this world. Eventually I just gave in to those feelings. Nothing totally earth shattering. Find a good evangelical church that believes in the bible alone, as you cannot trust teachings that cannot be found in the bible. Read the bible. Go on youtube too and listen to Dr. David Jeremiah or Charles Stanley, excellent spirit filled preachers.

Troy Rambo said:

I struggled with my faith for 40 years. But for most of it, my heart was hard and I was even hostile toward Christ. The few times someone would try to re-introduce me to Jesus, I would shut the whole conversation down. And I even got fired from a job because of this.

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Well that's new, usually the story goes that the Bible believer gets fired. You got fired for not wishing to talk religion??