Hello: *graphic trigger*...

[SadmanLD]

Hi i am a new user and so far reading i am impressed by peoples opinions and proofs and with that i want to testify something(already legally delt with).
I had a fight with my wife it went on for a very long time.
there was a point where i knew i was to angry and i left for about half an hour, cam back and went to my bedroom and my wife came in 5 minutes later(she pushed the door open)
a good half an hour of it was me laying in fetal position with her tugging on me. she started saying things i didn't want to hear like how she thot i didn't love her and how i should divorce her if thats the way i felt. i don't know why but after about half an hour of trying to shut it out and ignoreing it i couldn't hold in my anger and frustration anymore and i got up and kicked my wife quite hard then i grabbed her and threw her towards a wall kicked her pushed her than kicked her again(the only reason for me stating everything is so you know the seriousness about it). i went to jail overnight and got a bailout. i am currently seeing my pasture for my religious help a psychiatrist for emotional help and my family doctor for my new medication.

What i want to know is with all this help and my faith in God, do you think he will forgive me and bring me back with my wife. do you think i deserve it. I really love my wife i have been away for 3 weeks now and it seems like an eternity. i am 22 and have two absolutly lovely children, one is 17 months old and the other is 4 months old.

pls any comment is accepted

 

[bubblefish]

Hi Sadman,

God can and will forgive if you are remorseful and truly sorry for what happened, but it is up to your wife on whether she chooses to forgive and if she does, how long that forgiveness will take. Abuse is not something that people get over in a short time. It is often seen as a violation of trust and that trust takes a long time to re-build.

All I can say is to give her time and listen to how she feels and what she is going through. Talk to her if she wants to talk but don't push her into something too quickly if she doesn't want it.

God has his will and it will happen, whether that is to be with your wife or take a break, at least until things settle down and the issues are resolved.

 

[SadmanLD]

I know i have to be patient but it is so hard.
i miss her so much, i hate myself for what i have done and i know i should not hate myself. just i don't know how else to feel about myself. I love God but i don't understand how he could love a wreck like me. I know he does but how i don't know.

 

[bubblefish]

"My little children, these things I write to you, that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous." (1 John 2:1)

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)

"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace." (Ephesians 1:7)

Not understanding God's will or amazing ability to love and forgive is often out of comprehension for humans but it is the truth. If you are repentant God will forgive you. He loves you unconditionally while you are true to him. He sees you as his child. If your children made mistakes, if they did wrong would you stop caring about them or loving them because of it? God understands that we all make mistakes and that doesn't stop him loving you and caring about you.

try to give yourself time to come to terms with everything. I know it is hard now but you need to be able to forgive yourself as well. It was a terrible thing that happened but what is most important now is working on fixing the problems so you are not in that situation again, which you seem to be doing with talking to professionals. Just give it time and try to be easy on yourself. In time things will begin to settle down again.
​

 

[SadmanLD]

She loves me and i know she does. i want to show her how much i've changed. i understand everything i've done wrong. but shes thinking a 6 month seperation should be tried, dates only. i dunno if i can be away from her for that long. shes my life.

 

[bubblefish]

I know it is hard but try to give her the time. There is a chance that you will stay together, especially if she is still wanting to try but pushing her into something she is not ready for probably won't help the situation.

If she sees that you have changed it might not take six months, but you still need to give her the time if she wants it.

 

[BlessEwe]

I grew up with this, and I am sorry you both went through this. You tried to walk away, and was in a fetal position ( I can almost picture that)
. I am not an expert but I would say this was verbal/emotional abuse on her part as well. I am not saying she deserved anything, but it clearing shows that you both need help ( not just you). When things escalated like this it usually means frustration on both parts for non-communication.. Getting these things out with help of a professional may bring light to the confusion you must be feeling right now. Anger management might be a good course of action as well, you will learn tools on what to do so you don't get to the point as you did. I mentioned verbal/emotional abuse because she had a big part in this and it should be overlooked.

 

[goldenviolet]

mod hat on

hi peepers! staff is going to allow this thread without edits, as long as it does not break rules, stays PG, and allows healthy discharge/ conversation, about the traumas of abuse. if you have input for staff on this issue, please message me. xo dee


modhat off

 

[Angelbug]

Hi there
It is painful to read this, I know exactly what you must be going through.

I have the same problems as you. Why does God love someone like me? Why does he let these things happen etc.

It is all in gods timing.

Show her you love her but dont rush her into anything she does not want to do. Try and build your friendship again.

Hope this helps