Hello From a Struggling Christian

Manu7

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Hey, my name is Bekuta. I'm 20 years old, from Massachusetts.
I grew up Baptist, until I was about 10 years old. Out of the blue, my family stopped going to church, and religion just sort of stopped being a part of my life. Throughout my early to mid teens, I was a pretty militant atheist, and prided myself on "owning Christians". I still remember the open hostility I showed on the couple occasions I had to go to church for some family event. Looking back, it was just my way of feeling superior, even if I was just putting down other people for their beliefs.

That stopped after about 16; I opened up to religion a lot more and understood it was an important part of people's lives. Around that same time I had also dabbled in Paganism. It was mostly out of interest for my heritage, and it was nice feeling that sort of connection to nature. But those beliefs fell through around the time I turned 17, and I started to get drawn back towards Christ. For the past couple years I had been struggling in finding my footing, until very recently when I decided I needed to fully devote myself to the Lord. I try not to look back on any of my previous religious (or non-religious) phases, with disdain; I consider them integral steps that, in the end, lead me back to God.

I still feel myself struggling to find my foothold in my beliefs sometimes: sometimes wondering how much I actually believe, or if it's even worth it. But I know that God loves me, even on those days when I question myself, and I just have to find the will to keep moving forward.

I'm hoping that joining this forum will allow me to meet some new people, and will help me in my journey of making God a part of my life. I look forward to getting to meet you all, and I hope you're all doing great.
 
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Manu7

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PLEASE READ WITH ALL YOUR HEART WHEN YOU HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO REFLECT

Hello, i will advice you to hear the sermons of Leonard Ravenhill on "repentance", "the bride prepared" and other sermons. We can have the "wish" and "will" to stop sinning but unless we make a conscious and firm decision to die to our sins in the death of Jesus Christ and live in His resurrection power (that is, believing that He did not only die but resurrected) we might end up living our lives with an unaccomplished "will" to "stop sinning". For this we need to

1. Acknowledge that there are sins in our lives.
2. Know (list) them and decide what we want to do about them.
3. Do we really want to get rid of these?
This is the point where we realise if we are "willing whatever cost it makes" to live a life of repentance.
4. Always pray and seek God vehemently to help us live a life which pleases Him (to glorify Him) and to stop sinning.
5. While doing the above start replacing bad habits with good habits.
Christian life requires discipline in all things (praying, sleeping, working, eating, etc) and self-denial.
If you live with the purpose of following Christ, you will suddenly see that other things are no distraction to you anymore since you are disciplined and have an aim at hand. If you set your mind on Christ and on the things that are above and discipline yourself and crucify your flesh [put your fleshly desires (gluttony, love of materials, sexual immorality) under subordination], you will also see that this is the battle in the Christian life (because the flesh and the spirit fight against teach other) and you will be more focused on Christ.
The flesh and the spirit fight against each other because our spirit wants to follow Christ but our flesh (old man) refuses to die with Jesus on the cross and therefore how can the new man come if the old has not died?
Jesus gave the parable in Luke 5:36-39 kjv

36 And he spake also a parable unto them; No man putteth a piece of a new garment upon an old; if otherwise, then both the new maketh a rent, and the piece that was taken out of the new agreeth not with the old.

37 And no man putteth new wine into old bottles; else the new wine will burst the bottles, and be spilled, and the bottles shall perish.

38 But new wine must be put into new bottles; and both are preserved.

39 No man also having drunk old wine straightway desireth new: for he saith, The old is better.

This is the reason why you find it difficult to stop sinning. You are used to your old lifestyle or sinful nature (vs. 39).

No matter what many people tell you, it is still YOUR DECISION to renounce your old nature and follow Christ.

Even Jesus himself said REPENT. No one can be forced to, but all must make a choice.

Joshua said to the unrepenting Israelites (in the book of Joshua 24:15 kjv) who followed other gods just like we follow the world, its ways and its sins:

15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

So what is your decision?
You can have all the WILL and WISHES in the world but unless you make a decision and stand firm, repentance will be difficult.

Stay blessed, think and pray about it.
 
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