Hello all:)

[Captivating]

Hi everyone, I am really new to this chatroom/Christian Forum idea although I am addicted to Christian Blogs and reading in general. Think my last midnight foray on any kind of chatroom was over a decade ago but I know you all will be worth it

What is, unfortunately, not a decade behind me is my diagnosis : orginially an Acute Transient Psychotic Disorder which turned into Major Depression. Recently turned into Bipolar as I still have bouts of hypomania. I was diagnosed in 2010 and to be honest my church at the time really failed to ease the shock of a 3wk stay in hospital as they actually asked me to leave because of the diagnosis. Lots of broken relationships ensued and added to my already deep rejection issues. Whew! Sorry - intense stuff.

The reason I joined the thread today is I am currently waiting for my University to reopen and so spend lots of my time reading and writing in starbucks. Which can in fact be surprisingly lonely and tear inducing as I see all the couples and school kids with friends or family and etcetera. So No pity party for me anymore, I came home and found this forum. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with loneliness and hopelessness though? I have had a reallyyy hard time in my faith and with my family since my diagnosis. Parents are being very supportive and all but sisters have been slightly less understanding. I believe in all my heart in the existence of Abba Father but I am getting a little disillusioned by how lonely I feel in church each week and how repetitive bible promises sound. I guess I am wondering if anything will ever actually change and if the prophecies spoken over me will ever come to pass...

 

[Jeshu]

Dear sister,

Yes mental illness is very hard to deal with, especially because so many people blame us for our problems, I've got psychotic and depressive illness as well and know how hard it can be to keep your head above water. The issue with mental illness is that our confused heart and mind often clings to lies and not the truth. Inner lies are the evildoers within for lies keep God's truth away.

For example feeling hopelessness is contradictory to what the bible says, in 1 Corinthians 13:13 it is written

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

The best way to deal with hopelessness is to refuse to believe what you hear and feel within you when its reality pesters you and to cling to hope instead. Honestly true faith in God's love brings us hope time and again. Just like the bible says.

With loneliness it is just the same, when we look/heed what loneliness tells us then it only increases our burden and makes things much worse. Jesus told us that He wouldn't leave us but that He would be with us until the end of the age, Matthew 28:20

and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

honest believing the truth sets us free from our loneliness - though it might take some time to die to its power over you.

The same counts for despair, doubt, unbelief, guilt, shame, unsound mind and fear. When we trust in Jesus then none of these emotions/realities can overcome us any more, though it may take us some time to learn to not heed the lies we hear in our hearts and minds and to confirm the truth we know and trust.

It is wise to let go off all the things people have told you about God and to let The Word teach you the truth instead. I also really struggled with prophecies about my life, but was freed from these predictions when I refused to believe anything that Scripture didn't confirm. It is not the words of people we want to be waiting for but the Word of God to come true in our hearts.

Many mentally ill people struggle with their Church, or their Church with them, this can be very unsettling and is one of the main reason I come to this site to exercise my faith in God with fellow believers, especially the mentally ill ones.


hope this gives you courage to fight on



To God's Depressed Child,

To think less of yourself then God's own
Brings you much pain and suffering.
Your worth is an incredible high price
Also for you did Jesus die on the cross.

Depression is also what devil's lies brings inside
letting a low-self-esteem your good life rob
Untruths roaming freely through heart and mind
Evil lies extinguishing all happiness and fun.

His loving truth brings you His good life
While to believe lies brings pain and grief
So hold onto the promises Jesus made to you
and don't let Satan your good life squander.

Take hold of God's precious loving truth.
A life in Him stays safe from lies that hurt.
Jesus' truth will comfort your bleeding heart
Lovingly remaking your fallen life anew.

 

[Winken]

Say a simple prayer, and then............

Read the Book of Mark. Take a week to do so.
Read the Book of John. Take two weeks to do so.
Read Acts 9ff right on through all of Romans. Take a month to do so.

Be blessed in Him.

 

[Take Heart]

Does anyone have any tips for dealing with loneliness and hopelessness though? I have had a reallyyy hard time in my faith and with my family since my diagnosis

Hey sis.. ♥
When it comes to loneliness, I counter that feeling by spending time with our Heavenly Father through talking- pouring out my heart to Him, telling Him what I'm going through and how I feel about it all and for Him to intervene and help me through it.
I also try to spend some time in His Word, filling myself up with His truths because I often get bombarded with the lies of the enemy that tries to fill me up with doubt and making me out to feel unworthy..etc. So I try to go hard, especially in the mornings- it's a breath of fresh air when you start your mornings with God's Word- even if it's just 1 chapter. Also, I like to listen and sing worship songs! Especially the modern ones. I personally like 'K-Love' radio station. I listen to it online since the station plays in the states whereas, I'm in Canada. The reason why I try to listen to Christian music [can be for hours too just playing in the background while I do other stuff online] is because it fills me up with hope and joy and peace! and the songs fill my mind up with Him throughout the day and you can't help but get it stuck in your head which, in turn, pushes out any negative thoughts to intrude. Seriously give it a go : )
With hopelessness, again, I want to point you our Saviour ♥ He's the very definition of Hope. Add to that, He gave me hope when I was extremely suicidal back then. I had severe anxiety issues, feelings of worthlessness, loneliness and hopelessness. I thought that I'd never get better, that this depression would never lift up...but He proved me wrong. It was definitely a process though. Didn't happen over night. I had to let Him in and help me out by giving Him my cares and worries and just letting Him handle it and trusting that He will heal my heart [in time]. He's reminded me not to be so hard on myself- that I'm His work-in-progress and to simply trust Him.
If you asked me back in late 2011 if I thought I'd ever see the day where I would genuinely be smiling and be genuinely happy with a sense of purpose and peace? I would have looked at you like you were insulting me [I had a really bad attitude back then, lol']. So if you ever feel like there's no hope.. I'm living proof that there is. And His name is Jesus Christ. Have faith, sis ♥ I know it can be hard especially when our emotions get in our way and make it difficult for us to see the brighter side of things. But keep persevering. He wants you to. And I believe you were brought here to this Christian forum website for a reason.
Listen..I know you believe that God is real.. but this is something that may help strengthen your belief, your faith, ..and even your hope.
I intentionally skipped it to the time in the video that I wanted you to view it from. I believe this message is powerful and it's spoken in a down-to-earth way.

 

[Tempura]

I hope everyone here treats you with love, and I'm almost certain they will.

Whenever I'm in doubt, Mount Sermon is my go-to part of the Bible. I let it comfort me, and then I go on from there. Always a good thing to pray for guidance and understanding when reading the Bible too. God embraces people who are weak and who stumble, because as such, it's hard for us to pretend, and we can be naked in front of Him.

Remember the prodigal son? God wants us to search for him, and he welcomes us. Also, Luke 18:9-14 is great.

 

[Poster0]

Concerning your questions about overcoming hopelessness, and also about Gods promises.

First off, i firmly believe in never giving up. I believe that God will reward me for perseverance, and so till the day i die i will persevere, no matter what failure i may endure and struggle i may face. I believe in his mercy. What promises have God made? I will give my personal belief, not for the purpose of any debate but only to share what i believe, and this belief has given me much hope and strength, so unless someone can heal me then this is what i will cling to till the end.

I believe that many of the physical healing miracles in scripture were like a shadow of spiritual healing, much like other things found in the natural world, and in the old Testament, are shadows of things in the spiritual world. They were also the sign of the messiah and his apostles. However, the healings that are promised are not necessarily physical, but instead are things such as spiritual blindness, spiritual deafness and other such spiritual illnesses. THe cure is the light of Christ which opens our eyes to see and our ears to hear. Hearing is not about hearing voices but having the spirit of truth which guides us, and is promised in John 14. I may suffer depression and other things, but the apostles also suffered with so many things. They endured such hardship that they even despaired of life itself. I am not as good as them, but im happy to follow their example and grateful to God for it. I seek not freedom from my struggle like i once did, but i instead seek Gods strength to endure and persevere, and i seek happiness in this life through simple things.

I believe God has given us many simple things to enjoy and they can be very enjoyable too. We dont need a lot of money or possessions, we just need to find something that makes us happy. I find happiness in wood and metal work for example. I dont need a lot of money or tools, because back in the day our forefathers made a lot of things with basic hand tools, and the Lord himself was a carpenter who used basic tools. I keep things simple, although i surely dont mind using power tools.

I dont care what others think healing is, or what they think God promised. Their words only made me confused and very sad. They couldn't heal me but they could accuse me of having weak faith. Where was their faith? The bible says that its the faith of the righteous praying over the sick that will save them. I see a lot of things in scripture as spiritual. Christ promised to open my blind eyes but he was referring to my spiritual eyes. HE opened my ears to hear this very message for example. He opened my eyes to my own weakness and my own selfishness, and i now seek his strength and follow His ways, not my own. I am not perfect but my conscience wont allow me to give in, and so if i fail i just get back up and move forward. No matter how long i must fight, or how horrible a failure may be, im committed to fight and persevere till the end. Im looking for Gods mercy tll the end.

Its my opinion that i may boldly say, i was blind but now i see. Praise the Lord.

 

[Captivating]

m

Dear sister,

Yes mental illness is very hard to deal with, especially because so many people blame us for our problems, I've got psychotic and depressive illness as well and know how hard it can be to keep your head above water. The issue with mental illness is that our confused heart and mind often clings to lies and not the truth. Inner lies are the evildoers within for lies keep God's truth away.

For example feeling hopelessness is contradictory to what the bible says, in 1 Corinthians 13:13 it is written

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

The best way to deal with hopelessness is to refuse to believe what you hear and feel within you when its reality pesters you and to cling to hope instead. Honestly true faith in God's love brings us hope time and again. Just like the bible says.

With loneliness it is just the same, when we look/heed what loneliness tells us then it only increases our burden and makes things much worse. Jesus told us that He wouldn't leave us but that He would be with us until the end of the age, Matthew 28:20

and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

honest believing the truth sets us free from our loneliness - though it might take some time to die to its power over you.

The same counts for despair, doubt, unbelief, guilt, shame, unsound mind and fear. When we trust in Jesus then none of these emotions/realities can overcome us any more, though it may take us some time to learn to not heed the lies we hear in our hearts and minds and to confirm the truth we know and trust.

It is wise to let go off all the things people have told you about God and to let The Word teach you the truth instead. I also really struggled with prophecies about my life, but was freed from these predictions when I refused to believe anything that Scripture didn't confirm. It is not the words of people we want to be waiting for but the Word of God to come true in our hearts.

Many mentally ill people struggle with their Church, or their Church with them, this can be very unsettling and is one of the main reason I come to this site to exercise my faith in God with fellow believers, especially the mentally ill ones.


hope this gives you courage to fight on



To God's Depressed Child,

To think less of yourself then God's own
Brings you much pain and suffering.
Your worth is an incredible high price
Also for you did Jesus die on the cross.

Depression is also what devil's lies brings inside
letting a low-self-esteem your good life rob
Untruths roaming freely through heart and mind
Evil lies extinguishing all happiness and fun.

His loving truth brings you His good life
While to believe lies brings pain and grief
So hold onto the promises Jesus made to you
and don't let Satan your good life squander.

Take hold of God's precious loving truth.
A life in Him stays safe from lies that hurt.
Jesus' truth will comfort your bleeding heart
Lovingly remaking your fallen life anew.

Dear @Jeshu thank you so much for your kind words I really appreciate you taking the time to reply. Your poem is exact confirmation of what my Pastor said to me after church yesterday when I asked for prayer.

I definitely agree I HAVE to work on believing the Word on a gut level and less just mental acceptance. Old lies are so hard to overcome but God has called us all in the faith so much deeper than just accepting lies and disappointments. I definitely try and disregard any prophecy given over me which doesn't align with scripture. When it does, I rejoice in knowing that it is usually above and beyond what I could have ever asked, hoped, thought or imagined. This tends to keep me afloat on the rough days - the knowledge that greater things should come if i just keep on keeping on
Thank you again for replying
Captivating

 

[Captivating]

Say a simple prayer, and then............

Read the Book of Mark. Take a week to do so.
Read the Book of John. Take two weeks to do so.
Read Acts 9ff right on through all of Romans. Take a month to do so.

Be blessed in Him.

Wow thank you @Winken you have basically given a very restless person a Bible study plan which I defintely could use right now. I'll do as you suggested and let you know how it goes!!

Thankyou and God bless

 

[Captivating]

Hey sis.. ♥
When it comes to loneliness, I counter that feeling by spending time with our Heavenly Father through talking- pouring out my heart to Him, telling Him what I'm going through and how I feel about it all and for Him to intervene and help me through it.
I also try to spend some time in His Word, filling myself up with His truths because I often get bombarded with the lies of the enemy that tries to fill me up with doubt and making me out to feel unworthy..etc. So I try to go hard, especially in the mornings- it's a breath of fresh air when you start your mornings with God's Word- even if it's just 1 chapter. Also, I like to listen and sing worship songs! Especially the modern ones. I personally like 'K-Love' radio station. I listen to it online since the station plays in the states whereas, I'm in Canada. The reason why I try to listen to Christian music [can be for hours too just playing in the background while I do other stuff online] is because it fills me up with hope and joy and peace! and the songs fill my mind up with Him throughout the day and you can't help but get it stuck in your head which, in turn, pushes out any negative thoughts to intrude. Seriously give it a go : )
With hopelessness, again, I want to point you our Saviour ♥ He's the very definition of Hope. Add to that, He gave me hope when I was extremely suicidal back then. I had severe anxiety issues, feelings of worthlessness, loneliness and hopelessness. I thought that I'd never get better, that this depression would never lift up...but He proved me wrong. It was definitely a process though. Didn't happen over night. I had to let Him in and help me out by giving Him my cares and worries and just letting Him handle it and trusting that He will heal my heart [in time]. He's reminded me not to be so hard on myself- that I'm His work-in-progress and to simply trust Him.
If you asked me back in late 2011 if I thought I'd ever see the day where I would genuinely be smiling and be genuinely happy with a sense of purpose and peace? I would have looked at you like you were insulting me [I had a really bad attitude back then, lol']. So if you ever feel like there's no hope.. I'm living proof that there is. And His name is Jesus Christ. Have faith, sis ♥ I know it can be hard especially when our emotions get in our way and make it difficult for us to see the brighter side of things. But keep persevering. He wants you to. And I believe you were brought here to this Christian forum website for a reason.
Listen..I know you believe that God is real.. but this is something that may help strengthen your belief, your faith, ..and even your hope.
I intentionally skipped it to the time in the video that I wanted you to view it from. I believe this message is powerful and it's spoken in a down-to-earth way.

Thank you so much for such an uplifting post - I really do feel God has brought me to this site for a reason! I also struggle with being hard on myself like you said and taking time to celebrate small victories. I agree about pouring out my heart too...I guess the only thing is I feel sooo emotionally depleted, isolated and broken a lot of the time. Some would say it is a good thing as it keeps me on my knees...but the truth is sometimes I really get tired of walking with a spiritual "limp". I know Jacob did but I feel that He also achieved an encounter with God when He wrestled with the angel. I long for this as dryness and distance have really affected my ability to worship God. Which makes me so sad as i looovee music like you and singing is a passion of mine. I just really wonder often why GOD is seemingly hiding His face from me when I have done eveything I know to close the distance between us and remain faithful. Sorry to sound woe is me but I feel soo much like others are walking in purpose and calling but I am always overlooked because of the depression. Does that make sense?

Aw the link to the video is broken - if you could give me the title I will be sure to check it out
God bless Beautiful One And I lovvveeee Lysa Terkeurst - she is on K-Love Radio no?

 

[Captivating]

Concerning your questions about overcoming hopelessness, and also about Gods promises.

First off, i firmly believe in never giving up. I believe that God will reward me for perseverance, and so till the day i die i will persevere, no matter what failure i may endure and struggle i may face. I believe in his mercy. What promises have God made? I will give my personal belief, not for the purpose of any debate but only to share what i believe, and this belief has given me much hope and strength, so unless someone can heal me then this is what i will cling to till the end.

I believe that many of the physical healing miracles in scripture were like a shadow of spiritual healing, much like other things found in the natural world, and in the old Testament, are shadows of things in the spiritual world. They were also the sign of the messiah and his apostles. However, the healings that are promised are not necessarily physical, but instead are things such as spiritual blindness, spiritual deafness and other such spiritual illnesses. THe cure is the light of Christ which opens our eyes to see and our ears to hear. Hearing is not about hearing voices but having the spirit of truth which guides us, and is promised in John 14. I may suffer depression and other things, but the apostles also suffered with so many things. They endured such hardship that they even despaired of life itself. I am not as good as them, but im happy to follow their example and grateful to God for it. I seek not freedom from my struggle like i once did, but i instead seek Gods strength to endure and persevere, and i seek happiness in this life through simple things.

I believe God has given us many simple things to enjoy and they can be very enjoyable too. We dont need a lot of money or possessions, we just need to find something that makes us happy. I find happiness in wood and metal work for example. I dont need a lot of money or tools, because back in the day our forefathers made a lot of things with basic hand tools, and the Lord himself was a carpenter who used basic tools. I keep things simple, although i surely dont mind using power tools.

I dont care what others think healing is, or what they think God promised. Their words only made me confused and very sad. They couldn't heal me but they could accuse me of having weak faith. Where was their faith? The bible says that its the faith of the righteous praying over the sick that will save them. I see a lot of things in scripture as spiritual. Christ promised to open my blind eyes but he was referring to my spiritual eyes. HE opened my ears to hear this very message for example. He opened my eyes to my own weakness and my own selfishness, and i now seek his strength and follow His ways, not my own. I am not perfect but my conscience wont allow me to give in, and so if i fail i just get back up and move forward. No matter how long i must fight, or how horrible a failure may be, im committed to fight and persevere till the end. Im looking for Gods mercy tll the end.

Its my opinion that i may boldly say, i was blind but now i see. Praise the Lord.

Thank you so much @Poster0 your conviction and endurance is truly inspiring. It is so funny you are talking about perseverance as last night I literally said God when all is said and done I just want to finish my race exceedingly well. Nothing more and nothing less but a "Well Done Good and Faithful servant".

I defintely agree with you that a lot of the bible is spiritual metaphor. I think I believe that God heals both the physical and spiritual man which keeps me pressing for being able to be anti-depressant free one day. Just like the gospels say don't bless a man but leave him hungry and naked, I think Jesus would not open my spiritual eyes but leave my natural ones void of sight. Yet I am sure we both know it is not always so black and white as not everyone does get healed instantly or even at all. I am sorry you were accused of not having enough faith - I have had that implied often when my nightmares were extremely bad a few years ago. I am nightmare free today all thanks to letting unforgiveness and bitterness be removed by grace from my heart. People are so quick to point fingers when they have not walked in your shoes. But I refuse and hope you will too, to let that make me stop believing that prayer changes things and God is still all-powerful and willing to heal in every way.

God bless you again and thank you for replying!

Captivating

 

[Take Heart]

Thank you so much for such an uplifting post - I really do feel God has brought me to this site for a reason! I also struggle with being hard on myself like you said and taking time to celebrate small victories. I agree about pouring out my heart too...I guess the only thing is I feel sooo emotionally depleted, isolated and broken a lot of the time. Some would say it is a good thing as it keeps me on my knees...but the truth is sometimes I really get tired of walking with a spiritual "limp". I know Jacob did but I feel that He also achieved an encounter with God when He wrestled with the angel. I long for this as dryness and distance have really affected my ability to worship God. Which makes me so sad as i looovee music like you and singing is a passion of mine. I just really wonder often why GOD is seemingly hiding His face from me when I have done eveything I know to close the distance between us and remain faithful. Sorry to sound woe is me but I feel soo much like others are walking in purpose and calling but I am always overlooked because of the depression. Does that make sense?

Aw the link to the video is broken - if you could give me the title I will be sure to check it out
God bless Beautiful One And I lovvveeee Lysa Terkeurst - she is on K-Love Radio no?

I know what you mean when you say that you feel isolated and broken a lot of the time. Sometimes it feels like God's not there in the midst of our sorrow and trials. I look back at when I was suicidal back then and honestly, I can now see that He was there all along. This is a song that you might be familiar with but this popped into my head just now:

Awe, sorry to hear that the link is broken! Hope this link works out better!

I might have to private message you the link if it still doesn't work, lol. [<~ hah, I'm too dedicated for you to watch this ]
And yes, that makes perfect sense to me. I, too, felt that same way. But I promise you that you aren't being overlooked : ) even though it may seem like it. I just pray Holy Father that You will lift up my sister's depression and help her to feel Your presence, love, and comfort at this time. May You help her to have a powerful encounter with You according to Your perfect time and help her to know that You are there with her in the midst of what she's feeling and going through. Please show her Your purpose for her, lead and guide her always, and draw her ever closer to You. In the precious Name of Jesus Christ, our Saviour we ask these things..Amen ♥

p.s. sadly, I haven't memorized the hosts/dj's names yet on k-love but that name sounds familiar! [edit: Oh! Is she from Proverbs 31 ministries? I sometimes hear her on the radio too!]

Love you sis ♥ [let me know if the link's still broken]

 

[Poster0]

Thank you so much @Poster0 your conviction and endurance is truly inspiring. It is so funny you are talking about perseverance as last night I literally said God when all is said and done I just want to finish my race exceedingly well. Nothing more and nothing less but a "Well Done Good and Faithful servant".

I defintely agree with you that a lot of the bible is spiritual metaphor. I think I believe that God heals both the physical and spiritual man which keeps me pressing for being able to be anti-depressant free one day. Just like the gospels say don't bless a man but leave him hungry and naked, I think Jesus would not open my spiritual eyes but leave my natural ones void of sight. Yet I am sure we both know it is not always so black and white as not everyone does get healed instantly or even at all. I am sorry you were accused of not having enough faith - I have had that implied often when my nightmares were extremely bad a few years ago. I am nightmare free today all thanks to letting unforgiveness and bitterness be removed by grace from my heart. People are so quick to point fingers when they have not walked in your shoes. But I refuse and hope you will too, to let that make me stop believing that prayer changes things and God is still all-powerful and willing to heal in every way.



God bless you again and thank you for replying!

Captivating

Thank you. I have had nightmares in the past too, i know how those can be disturbing. I dont deny that Christ can heal physical things as well, its just that my faith should not depend on that alone, because sometimes i think God can use our physical disabilities to heal our spiritual ones. Some blind people have very good spiritual eyes, some people who cannot walk in the physical world can run in the spiritual. Its just my belief and it helps me to find strength, joy and peace no matter what struggle i may face. I guess i like to plow my field in hope and this is the best way i see that it can be done. Its just my way that i believe God has shown me. I dont know everything however, but i just walk the path i find myself on.

 

[sarvesh]

You sound a lot like me cap, I also been diagnosed with a handful of names. I think in the end we are all the same, some of us are more sensitive to different things. I have been diagnosed with depression, adhd, anxiety disorder, bipolar and schizophrenia - but if you look at it, lot of the symptoms overlap, and they are all occurring in 'normal' people too, just at a higher magnitude.

like everyone has mood shifts and days where they dont feel good, but with bipolar its a lot more extreme shifts and emotions. same with depression, and everyone feels anxiety at times, but with anxiety disorder it literally kills you! And even with schizophrenia, its been shown that 'normal' people can go a couple nights without sleep and then they can start hearing and seeing things that aren't there. so i think in the end its best to find out what sets of you off and learn to work with your mind and avoid things that trigger you. and dont pay mind to condescending advice because we are all different and have to find our own way to get through life.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

Hello and welcome to the forum! We are so glad you are here!

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask me.

Army Wife