Hell.

[makemenew]

This is my first thread at this website. My name is Heather.

I have an overwhelming fear of hell. I went to spiritlessons.com, and people on that website talked of visiting there (has anyone else been to that website?). It is terrifying.
I feel like I'll never be sure of my salvation until I die.
I've read that many people who think they are saved are actually not (Matthew 7:21-22).
Does anyone else struggle with this? I feel like everything I do is not out of love at all, but out of fear of hell. How does one stop being terrified of God? I don't know how to love him.
How do I stop thinking about who will end up there and who is there now?

 

[BeccaLynn]

Heather,

I know exactly where you are coming from. First off I want to encourage you NOT to watch or listen to anything concerning hell right now. I too have struggled for so long concerning my personal salvation. I used to make myself listen to sermons that left me feeling there was absolutely no hope for me. Thoughts like "if I could just listen and MAKE myself believe or trust", or maybe "this is possibly the last chance I'll have to get right with God so I need to listen and hopefully this will be the time I'll be changed. It never, ever worked. In fact, it intensified my fears. I always felt there was something wrong with me and that I couldn't trust in God like others could. I felt evil, yet also that I must be self-righteous because I always tried so hard to live for Jesus but thought I was doing it in my own righteousness instead of His. I felt as if I must be rejecting God. So, I looked at God in such a fearful way for I felt He was also rejecting me. I was absolutely terrified to go to church. I would skim through books with titles like, Peace With God. I actually felt as if the blood would drain from my face when I would read about people who lived as if they were saved, yet weren't. I do not know if you have been diagnosed with religious ocd or not, but it has felt like a form of hell on earth. I have been going to Christian counseling and visiting this website on a regular basis. My counselor has truly helped me to be grounded. His idea of God has been so different than mine that I'm beginning to see that I could not possibly love a God as I had envisioned. The God I thought I was trying to serve did not hear my prayers, nor did He offer me any hope of heaven. My views have been so twisted that I have had to pretty much reprogram my mind as far as my heavenly Father is concerned. Ocd concentrates on our fears so much that it screams for all of our attention, and in the meantime can drain the very life out of us. It is absolutely impossible I feel to love someone you are completely terrified of and whom you think is out to get you. This website has helped tremendously, just knowing there are people here who understand. I cannot concentrate on hell or dwell on my salvation, because then I spiral down into an emotional abyss. Something that has helped me tremedously is to take just a few minutes a day to read something from the Psalms, a devotional from the author Max Lucado, or something that helps me realize that my God is compassionate and not the ugly monster I was living my life in fear of. Talking to a counselor who understands and helps me to see the faulty way I've been thinking and giving into has also been a huge help. God loves us so dearly, but the fears would have us believe that He is just waiting for us to mess up so He can cast us into hell. That is so far from the truth. If you're not already, I encourage you to see a counselor. Mine truly is compassionate and understands the nature of all of this. You are not alone and God has really not abandoned you. I have had to stop being absorbed by all the "scary" stuff to concentrate on knowing the loving God He is. I know others understand too. I think you'll get a lot of encouragement from this website.

Rebecca

 

[Catherineanne]

This is my first thread at this website. My name is Heather.

I have an overwhelming fear of hell. I went to spiritlessons.com, and people on that website talked of visiting there (has anyone else been to that website?). It is terrifying.
I feel like I'll never be sure of my salvation until I die.
I've read that many people who think they are saved are actually not (Matthew 7:21-22).
Does anyone else struggle with this? I feel like everything I do is not out of love at all, but out of fear of hell. How does one stop being terrified of God? I don't know how to love him.
How do I stop thinking about who will end up there and who is there now?

Not all Christians believe in a literal hell of fire and brimstone, simply because it is incompatible with God as revealed in Christ.

I think it is important to focus on the good things that God gives to each one of us, and forget the rest. Whoever ends up in eternity is for God to judge, not us, and what happens to the rest is up to him. It is impossible for God to outdo us in any Godly quality, so humanity cannot be more loving, more merciful and more compassionate than he is.

As humanity becomes more humane, paradoxically we become more like God. I don't think we will ever achieve the level of love that he has to offer, but we are certainly getting better, over the years.

The end result of this is, that for any given person, if it is possible for even one person on earth to feel pity for them, and their situation, then it is impossible for God not to feel pity as well. So I think we can have nothing to fear from hell. It could only be created by a sadistic, rather than loving God.

I wish you peace.

 

[kicker]

Hi heather

I know exactly what you are saying. If you read my posts they sound identical to yours. I know there is a real hell according to the bible. I remember the first time I really asked christ to save me. I asked him because I was afraid of dying and going to hell. Hell is a very good reason for wanting to be saved. I think a combination of ocd and how we were taught about God have a lot to do with our problems. I have been having salvation doubts for almost thirty years and 8 years ago they suddenly became intense (I think when I finally realized that I might die like this). I have been through hell on earth as a result of not being able to get it settled. I have had some times where I felt it was finally settled only to get whacked with another what if. The last two months have been excrutiating but I know I have to keep going. The verse I cling to is romans 10:13 "whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved". I genuinely feel for you and what you are dealing with because I'm there right now. Have you called on jesus to save you? The thing that keeps going through my mind is why would we call if we didn't believe. It might not be perfect trust but He said the faith of a mustard seed could move mountains so I know I have asked for Him to save me (what else can we do?). I hope some of this makes sense to you and know that your not alone because when your thinking about this stuff know that someone else is battling it with you at the same time. Take care and keep us posted on how you are doing

God bless
James

 

[ObsessedButBlessed]

Hi Heather, I've definitely been there, too. I know the fear, as I believe in a literal hell, as well, like kicker.

The one thing to keep in mind during all of this is that Jesus knows our hearts. While our emotions and thoughts may be fleeting, and feel like the exact opposite of what we truly desire, He knows our heart's desire and listens to its cries. When my obsessions were really bad, I couldn't pray at all, because I was just filled with horrible thoughts and feelings. So all I would do is pray the simple prayer that God would cling to me, and not let me go, because that was the true desire of my heart... not all this stuff that OCD was throwing at me. When you are in the midst of fear and obsessing, pray a simple prayer of peace. I know when my OCD becomes overwhelming, it's the only tool I have that brings relief from it all.

Know that nothing can tear us from the grip of God's love and his wonderful free gift of abounding grace. Like a never-ending stream of ocean waves crashing on the shore, God's grace is available for us without measure or merit. Your feelings of fear and doubt, however horrible and awful they are, will not determine what will happen to you on the day of judgement. Trust that God only wants the best for us, and welcomes us into His arms with abundant love and joy. He yearns for us, chases after us, and beckons us to rest in His love and mercy.

When you have these thoughts/feelings of fear regarding hell, tell the OCD to take a hike, and you're not going to try to answer the question of salvation right now. With OCD, you will never be able to ask for salvation enough times in order to put the doubt to rest; it will always be there. Accept the risk, trust in the Lord, and attempt to go about your day as normal. When we start to rely on our experiences (feelings), we are only going to fail, because with OCD, our feelings often betray us and misrepresent the truth. We OCD sufferers have this uncanny way of believing that because we feel something (or doubt something), then the threat is real.

Earlier this year, when my husband's grandfather passed away, I went through a period of serious fear of life after death. I really wanted some certainty that everything would be OK, that I'd end up in heaven and saved. As much as I yearned for that certainty, ultimately I had to accept that I wouldn't know until it was my time to go. And when that time came, what else could I do? I'd be dead! Nothing would be able to change that (unless God wanted to pull a Lazerus with me ). All I have control over is the choices I make in life - I don't have control over when I die or how long I live. So daily I try to make the best choices that I can.

I pray you will find some peace and knowledge that God will never let you escape from the palm of His loving hand.

 

[gracealone]

Amen Kicker!!
Isn't it amazing how ordered our thoughts can be when we are trying to reach out in compassion to reassure another of God's perfect love for them. That's what's so annoying about OCD. We can really answer those questions with reason and rationality, but the broken fire alarm in our head keeps making us wonder if we really believe what we are saying.
Any how - clearly God is already using you , because you have OCD, to encourage someone else. That is awesome!!!
Mitzi

Hi heather

I know exactly what you are saying. If you read my posts they sound identical to yours. I know there is a real hell according to the bible. I remember the first time I really asked christ to save me. I asked him because I was afraid of dying and going to hell. Hell is a very good reason for wanting to be saved. I think a combination of ocd and how we were taught about God have a lot to do with our problems. I have been having salvation doubts for almost thirty years and 8 years ago they suddenly became intense (I think when I finally realized that I might die like this). I have been through hell on earth as a result of not being able to get it settled. I have had some times where I felt it was finally settled only to get whacked with another what if. The last two months have been excrutiating but I know I have to keep going. The verse I cling to is romans 10:13 "whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved". I genuinely feel for you and what you are dealing with because I'm there right now. Have you called on jesus to save you? The thing that keeps going through my mind is why would we call if we didn't believe. It might not be perfect trust but He said the faith of a mustard seed could move mountains so I know I have asked for Him to save me (what else can we do?). I hope some of this makes sense to you and know that your not alone because when your thinking about this stuff know that someone else is battling it with you at the same time. Take care and keep us posted on how you are doing

God bless
James

 

[gracealone]

Hey Heather,
Welcome - glad to have you here with us and as you can already see there's alot of people here who know just how you feel.
I don't know if you've been diagnosed with OCD but what you are experiencing is rather common to those of us with OCD. I found this to be very encouraging when I first started posting on the site. I found out that as far as OCD was concerned I was abnormally normal.
Fear of HELL - oh yeah - big time. Then fear that I might be an atheist. That was pretty darn confusing. I was this atheist who was afraid of hell, terrified of being eternally seperated from God. Does that make sense? But that's OCD for you. It can twist your thoughts up into this tangled/snarled web of fear that makes it hard for you to even think straight at times. Then if you do think straight for awhile it comes up with yet another twist another fearful "what if".
If any of this sounds familiar to you then you may not be battling the common kind of doubt that everyone experiences but rather a condition called religious OCD.
Praying for you.
Mitzi p.s. hope you'll stick around and keep us posted on how you're doing.

This is my first thread at this website. My name is Heather.

I have an overwhelming fear of hell. I went to spiritlessons.com, and people on that website talked of visiting there (has anyone else been to that website?). It is terrifying.
I feel like I'll never be sure of my salvation until I die.
I've read that many people who think they are saved are actually not (Matthew 7:21-22).
Does anyone else struggle with this? I feel like everything I do is not out of love at all, but out of fear of hell. How does one stop being terrified of God? I don't know how to love him.
How do I stop thinking about who will end up there and who is there now?

 

[kaykay9.0]

I would just add that if this kind of thing is an issue for you, I would strongly recommend that you avoid things on the internet, books etc like what you described. For some people they may be fine, but others of us are just too sensitized in that direction already. For us, it's not good for us spiritually.

I would suggest, however, you might want to check out this website I recommend frequently~~
www.net-burst.net/guilty/scrupulosity.htm

 

[makemenew]

Thank you everyone.
Every comment was very helpful.

 

[picassoui]

This is my first thread at this website. My name is Heather.

I have an overwhelming fear of hell. I went to spiritlessons.com, and people on that website talked of visiting there (has anyone else been to that website?). It is terrifying.
I feel like I'll never be sure of my salvation until I die.
I've read that many people who think they are saved are actually not (Matthew 7:21-22).
Does anyone else struggle with this? I feel like everything I do is not out of love at all, but out of fear of hell. How does one stop being terrified of God? I don't know how to love him.
How do I stop thinking about who will end up there and who is there now?

i often have wondered that in the past becuse i dont see how you can possibly seperate the fear from it ..

one thing to keep in mind that God does not desire hell for anyone even those who go there ..

i have heard it said like this you have to letrally crawl over the love of God in order to go to hell.. meaning his love is that great ...

 

[makemenew]

But few will find the strait gate.

I can't stop feeling like I'm too much of a screw up to ever get to heaven.

 

[picassoui]

But few will find the strait gate.

I can't stop feeling like I'm too much of a screw up to ever get to heaven.

im not making light of youre concerns actually it is a ver serious one im just saying that there were many screw ups in the bible , David Moses AAron, Peter , ect .. God loves screw ups ..

 

[seajoy]

I can't stop feeling like I'm too much of a screw up to ever get to heaven.

Jesus took care of your screw ups, and mine, over 2000 years ago. Remember, faith is not a feeling. God gave us our faith, He alone takes care of it.

It's OCD, not a problem with God.