Heartless People

[redblue22]

All the relationships I've had are with people who have no heart. That is why I am single.

At times, I find myself foolishly believing in people as if they might grow a heart. Maybe they will shine through under severe weather. But they live sunless lives. I might believe in them, but it only ends in frustration. All that shines through is their endless self love, no matter what it costs someone else.

If only life were so simple as detecting heartlessness early on.

What about you? What experience do you have with people who seem to lack a heart? Do you have experience with people who love themselves most? even if they harm others?

 

[Sweet Melody]

Edit.

 

[Verve]

People who hurt are hurting.
It's the truth.
I learned to have better boundaries, to befriend and better evaluate the character of a man before dating him.

I have a few more thoughts on this, but not currently awake enough yet to properly express them.

 

[Standing_Ultraviolet]

I'm really sorry to hear that, and I can understand how you feel. I've had a few people in my life like that, as I think everyone has. Who knows, they could have something seriously wrong going on in their lives, and you could just be the person who was there at the time. It's better and healthier not to harbor any resentment, regardless. Moving forward is what separates us from the more unfortunate parts of our pasts, after all.

 

[deadpresidents]

I believe that self-love is the basis on which it is possible to love another.

 

[Living in the Light]

I would not worry about heartless people, but try to do all the good you can do, love everyone (this does not mean necessarily liking everyone), keep your faith and use Jesus' good works as your role model. Expect nothing and give altruistically. Happiness comes from within and the spark of the divine that lies in all of us. Fuel that spark to a raging fire within you. You can do great works. Peace....

 

[LivetoLove]

The thing I try to remember about people who seem heartless is that they do have hearts... that they do have feelings, but maybe they're too scared to be vulnerable, or they don't know how to be... And that when they seem to only love themselves, it's because they don't know how to truly love others.

In situations where I've been hurt by people like that, I prayed for them... and sounds crazy (it was) and it sounds hard (it was), but it was also the best thing I ever did. In praying for them, I learned to love them, and see them as God sees them. Not as a heartless person, but as someone with a past full of hurts and a future full of hopes and dreams, just like me.

The thing you have to be careful of is to not become jaded by past relationships that have hurt you... or you risk seeming heartless yourself. Don't let bad experiences keep you from experiencing a relationship that could be uplifting and Godly and amazing.

 

[William II]

My ex was heartless. It was a borderline emotionally abusive relationship, and I've disliked most women since.

 

[Nekoda]

People who hurt are hurting.
It's the truth.

I'm not sure this is true for every case, but I know it is true for some. I mentioned in another thread I recently went out with a friend and was not impressed with the conversation nor his demeanor generally. He's crass, he uses women - he boasts about it, and he is competitive.

To someone who doesn't know him, or his past - he comes off as an insensitive, selfish ass. I know him - and what he's been through. I know he's tried to commit suicide twice and I know a little of what his marriage was like before he separated.

These reasons don't excuse behavior - but to some extent I believe they explain it. It is his way of surviving and not dealing with pain.

 

[Rhye]

The people who have hurt me most I don't believe we're heartless just hurting a lot. They did things because they thought it was better that way when it was extremely hurtful to me.

As for really heartless people: I haven't really met any. They might have acted heartless toward me because of reasons like jealousy but when I really think it through they do have a lot of heart. I just don't understand how after knowing or working with someone for years they don't try to be nice. Am I doing something wrong? Sometimes I thinks because they have hurt my feelings I distance myself so much that it's impossible for a friendship to be born. Does that make me heartless? Or does it come off truly unforgiving? I guess in the end I just don't want to be friends. I don't want a person like that in my life.

 

[Tamarind]

Few people are heartless. We believe them to be due to their inability to return our feelings as we wish them to or because they take actions which hurt us. I have found it important to remember even those who have hurt me deeply have hearts but we were not meant to be. Some may need help to see that they are hurting others but that does not make them heartless. What appeared to me to be vain self love at the time was a sign that we were not suited. That hurt more than living in the shadow of their self love sometimes.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

To be honest, I'm probably the most heartless and ruthless person you may ever encounter; and no, it's not because I'm, or was, hurting (like everybody else seems to think people whom know and understand themselves react). Sure, as a child and an adolescent I had to learn quickly how to detach from life (silly, I know) - but, that's just how I learned to deal with teenage angst. After High-School I actually became far more free and far too emotional actually, I was so in-love with Yahweh that everything became an extension of His love and I became far too in-touch with love for others.

When life finally came to a certain realization for me, and I had to learn to become more than just the "Priest" He says he'll make us (I'll make you Kings and Priests) - it was then that I discovered that in order to learn to govern you must also learn a balance of both ruthlessness and compassion; sometimes you've gotta be cruel to be kind.