Heartbroken

[IrishCatholicGirl]

My daughter (18) whom I love and have loved dearly all her life has not and will not respond to any overtures for over a year. I raised this girl with no help from anyone as a single mother since she was 3 years old. I stayed home with these children for as long as I could, living at the poverty level for 8 years.

We were a very close and loving family until a few years ago when she was extremely disrespectful (even physically attacking me at times) starting at about age 15. The same thing occured with my son (who is still living with me - but is extremely hostile and has abused me leaving bruises on one occassion).

My home situation literally fell apart overnight. I am and have been overwraught with grief. I don't know what to do.

 

[sparrow]

IrishCatholicGirl, I have no idea what you're going through at the moment or how hard it must be for you... I just wanted to say that I prayed for you and your family and I hope that things will get better soon.

 

[IrishCatholicGirl]

Thank you so much.

 

[VivDaGurl]

OUCH! I'm so, so terribly sorry for what you had to go through after sacrifice so much for your children. Children changes so much when they grow up and most of the time, people will look at it as that the homes are the one where they've learnt to be bad. I don't believe in this myself as children are very vulnerable to the world out there, especially for the teenagers, they thought they are grown up and wants to have things their way. They see what others do and they'll follow without thinking whether it is right or not.

Do you know who does your child mix around with? Do you communicate often with them as they grow up?

I have a suggestion here but I don't know whether how it will help. It's your choice to try it out...

Take both of your children out one evening for a good dinner outside of your home. Then, talk with them and have a friendly talk with them. Try to find out more from them as in how they've been, whom have they been going out with, what have they been doing, etc. From there, after you've figured out the sort of people they are with, if you can see something wrong there, try to explain to them by giving them a picture as to what sort of consequences they have to bear with if they were to do the wrong thing.

Before you make any decision to do anything, pray and ask God for wisdom first. Ask God to be present in the conversation and pray for God to allow your chlidren to open up to tell you more.

 

[NINGirl]

Your agony has helped me to realize how much my attitude towards my mother affects her. Thank you for that. And I'm truly sorry you're going through what you are. I will pray for you.

She will not stay as she has forever. Human nature demands the needing of a motherly support, and she will miss you. Whenever I mistreat my mother, no matter how much later I realize it, I do realize it. I can only stray away from her for so long before I must return to her. I just hope and pray everything turns out well for you and she realizes what pain she's caused you soon.

 

[Kirley]

like NINgirl, i have realised that the way i act towards my mum does have sum impact on her....I hate it the way i act towards her altho at the time its like she doesn't understand me, but later i feel bad about the way i did act.

i say things to her, ie i hate u, that i dont really mean but they jsut come out becuz i hate how she doenst' agree with me. I love her soo much, and even wen ur children may curse or hurt u in neway, remember that deep down the do still love u no matter how angry they may seem. It may not be ur fault. They may feel hurt (i have no understanding on the father situation.. but that could b an example) and dont want to open up again becuz then they wil be risking getting hurt again. If u just remain urself and love them like u always have they may understand eventually that u do love them and wil not hurt them.

My mum has given up alot for me too becuz of our past... and i hate that fact sumtimes, but i do love her very much and i'm sure ur children do to. Hang in there i know ur a great parent.