Heart broken again

[SarahSmile1980]

I dont know what happened. Everything seemed to be going well with our marriage. I was thanking God for answered prayers. Then I found out my husband is on a online dating site stating he is single and looking for a relationship and that he is non religious. This isnt the first time. Ive actually lost count. Its the same cycle over and over again. Ive confronted him, set boundries, prayed, worked on my issues, had pasteral council, and countinued to show him Christian wifely love. We get better then he falls back into this sin. My faith is being attacked. Im becoming angry and bitter even though im feeling this way im not acting on it. So its eating me up. He has been very loving to me while doing this and planning for our future. I feel like its all a lie. What should i do? Im running out of faith, hope and love.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

I try to put myself in your husbands situation. If I were doing the same, I would fully understand my wife wanting to leave and get an immediate divorce. He is caught in a lie. He needs to come clean, completely clean. If he wants to keep you, he has to go the extra mile, absolutely! Penance. Sincerity.
I'm feeling pessimistic about this one to be honest.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Very, very sorry; remember that before God it's also about your promise to your husband, as well as his promise to you.

 

[John Hyperspace]

I've been solo for a long, long time, so take this with a grain of salt, I suppose. If I were in that situation, I would just leave, and either go solo, or, find someone who is willing to actually love you. You deserve to be the focus of love. Also, roll up a newspaper, hit him with it and say "That's from John!" I hate it when people have something so great, and just squander it like it's not.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

Also, roll up a newspaper, hit him with it and say "That's from John!"

 

[SarahSmile1980]

I try to put myself in your husbands situation. If I were doing the same, I would fully understand my wife wanting to leave and get an immediate divorce. He is caught in a lie. He needs to come clean, completely clean. If he wants to keep you, he has to go the extra mile, absolutely! Penance. Sincerity.
I'm feeling pessimistic about this one to be honest.

Im feeling very pessimistic about this too. Its now affecting my faith. And i cant let it go that far. Inside im fighting.

 

[YCGP]

I am sorry that you have to experience this. Something like this has caused a lot of fear in me; adultery and acts that bear a resemblance to it are what I fear most it seems.

He should get help to sort out his issues. He also needs to make a decision about his vision for life. He would have a clear goal and act in accordance with the boundaries- he would do what makes him realize his vision.

I think this is beyond your hands. He needs help.

 

[jimmyjimmy]

I dont know what happened. Everything seemed to be going well with our marriage. I was thanking God for answered prayers. Then I found out my husband is on a online dating site stating he is single and looking for a relationship and that he is non religious. This isnt the first time. Ive actually lost count. Its the same cycle over and over again. Ive confronted him, set boundries, prayed, worked on my issues, had pasteral council, and countinued to show him Christian wifely love. We get better then he falls back into this sin. My faith is being attacked. Im becoming angry and bitter even though im feeling this way im not acting on it. So its eating me up. He has been very loving to me while doing this and planning for our future. I feel like its all a lie. What should i do? Im running out of faith, hope and love.

Love is not the same thing as acceptance. You can still love him as you call your attorney.

 

[1watchman]

I dont know what happened. Everything seemed to be going well with our marriage. I was thanking God for answered prayers. Then I found out my husband is on a online dating site stating he is single and looking for a relationship and that he is non religious. This isnt the first time. Ive actually lost count. Its the same cycle over and over again. Ive confronted him, set boundries, prayed, worked on my issues, had pasteral council, and countinued to show him Christian wifely love. We get better then he falls back into this sin. My faith is being attacked. Im becoming angry and bitter even though im feeling this way im not acting on it. So its eating me up. He has been very loving to me while doing this and planning for our future. I feel like its all a lie. What should i do? Im running out of faith, hope and love.

I am truly sorry for you and this great trouble, friend. You need to confront him about this as to the severity of it, and his obvious interest not being in you and caring for you alone, as a faithful husband would be. You then need to assess what kind of response you get ---a lie or sincere repentance; or see it as time to end this ungodly relationship (this is scriptural ground for divorce).

Two things come to mind when I hear such a story as this: 1. How did this poor marriage happen ---by failure to truly know who they were taking as their spouse for life? Was it disregard of sound counsel from dependable sources? Was it some other neglect? There is most always neglect and carelessness in such cases. 2. Is this happening to a real "born again" believer in Christ, or just a religious person who believes there is a god and is trying to follow some Bible teachings? There is a huge difference in this, for God honors and guides those who know, trust and honor Him!

I am not at all being a judge or blaming you, friend, but hope to offer something of value to consider. If you wish to write me personally on my profile at CF I could show you a Guide in entering and maintaining marriage, and be happy to share some counsel on details. I will pray for you.

 

[cant_think_of_a_name]

Wow, that is rough.

This is probably not all that helpful, especially as I've never been in your situation, but it's times like these that I'd just cry out to Jesus and ask Him to be my all. Life on earth is tough, sometimes agonizing. But these are the moments where we realize that our main love is God.

I'm really coming to realize that this week. I had a bad year, extra bad week, and I kinda hit rock bottom. But Jesus is at our rock bottoms. It was weird, I felt the intense, knife-life pain from my situation, but then I felt Jesus wrapping his arms around me. And I think I prefer that than the dream-like life on earth, without Christ.

On a practical level, at times like these, I read Isaiah 54 like every day, and listen to "All I Have Is Christ," "No Longer Slaves," "Eye of the Storm," "Walk By Faith," or whatever really resonates with you, on repeat. And I pray.

You might not "feel" better right away, but I firmly believe that God listens to heartfelt prayer. Praying for you!

 

[KyeShamblin]

Sarah,
I was your husband a month ago. I did exactly what he did. I was happy in my relationship, I did what I did due to severe depression. I had a faithful, loving, and Godly woman who supported me no matter what and I let it go. I left her. My advice is this, turn to God, pray on it. Be still and know that he will answer. Maybe the answer will be something you don't want to hear. I believe that if he is doing this for the same reasons that I did, give him understanding. My current stage of healing is to perform "The Love Dare" on my Significant Other, and hope that I can amend the MANY mistakes i made. I suggest try doing this as well, as I have heard amazing things.

http://www.shenzhoufellowship.org/main2/files/old/SpecialTopics/TheLoveDare.pdf

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

http://www.shenzhoufellowship.org/main2/files/old/SpecialTopics/TheLoveDare.pdf

THis resource looks great!

 

[writewords]

I am sorry for this trouble you're having. Ultimately we are responsible for our own conduct. You can't control his, but remember yours before God.

 

[look4hope]

@SarahSmile1980,
Sorry to hear this is happening. All advice given above seem to be great. But just wanted ask if your husband angers easy, especially when gets confronted by you (or others).

Has he been willing to reach out for help? Does he acknowledge his problem?
You're in a difficult predicament for sure. I am sending prayers and please do keep us posted.

Hugs