- Mar 27, 2017
- 4,308
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- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
Today was hard. I went to church but it was hard to take in what the pastor spoke on. I was distracted with memories of the abuse. After church I watched a movie with my parents which calmed me some. Later on I met my brother's girlfriend for the first time. I didn't feel my best when I met her. Shes very pretty and sweet but I felt self conscious. I don't think I gave a good first impression. After that I went to my room and cried. I then came on Christian Forums. I also read some of my Bible. I read some of Job. I also am listening to Kari Jobe. I began to think about how much pain I have endured and I realize that the ritual abuse was very horrible. I know my torturers did not care about me at all. It is hard for me to pray for them because they took so much from me. They made it so I was destroyed. They showed no mercy on me and damaged my soul. I know they don't care about me. Jesus showed me today that my torturers felt pure hatred to me but that he would help me forgive them. Jesus reminded me of how he suffered on the cross. He was tortured on the cross and they mocked him and drove nails into his hands. They put a painful crown of thorns on top of his head. They mocked him and made fun of him. He was innocent and deserved none of it. He was misunderstood, hated, laughed at. He suffered what should have never happened to him. I know he understands my pain. He suffered being destroyed too. My torturers often laughed at me while they were hurting me. It comforts me to know Jesus was laughed at and mocked too. Jesus let me know he would strengthen me.
Luke 23:32-43New International Version (NIV)
32 Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. 33 When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. 34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”a]">[a] And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.
35 The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.”
36 The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar 37 and said, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”
38 There was a written notice above him, which read: this is the king of the jews.
39 One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”
40 But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? 41 We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”
42 Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.b]">[b]”
43 Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”
Luke 23:32-43New International Version (NIV)
32 Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. 33 When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. 34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”a]">[a] And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.
35 The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.”
36 The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar 37 and said, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”
38 There was a written notice above him, which read: this is the king of the jews.
39 One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”
40 But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? 41 We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”
42 Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.b]">[b]”
43 Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”
