- Mar 27, 2017
- 4,308
- 6,642
- 38
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
I have been reading books about healing from my rape. I was raped by a woman who tortured me who was very evil named Silver. She was cruel and told me I was not beautiful and she sexually assaulted me with objects and molested me often. She told me cruel things, that I was not beautiful and that other women were more beautiful than me. She told me that I was not a beautiful soul. She told me that I was not precious. She told me that she could harm my beauty. She violated me sexually with objects. She also made a man rape me named Kevin. He was very cruel and helped her torture me. He lived with her. He raped me often and told me I was not beautiful physically and spiritually and he told me he thought other women were beautiful. He told me I was evil and that I was different from other people. He told me every time he raped me that I was evil and told me over and over that I was evil during the rape. He told me that I was evil and that I had forced him to harm me because I was evil. He told me that I was evil and different from other people. He told me that I was evil and that that meant he had rights to hurt me this way. He told me this while raping me, every time. He told me that he could harm my body to make me not beautiful anymore. Kevin told me that I was evil and that I was different from my family and friends. Kevin told me that I was less beautiful than one of my friends and that I was envious over her. Kevin told me I was not as beautiful as her. He was very cruel to my soul. He was terrifying to me. He was a young man, in his 30s. He had olive skin and was Spanish. He had long hair and was slender but strong and very terrifying. He was taller than me. He often told me I was evil when abusing me and made me feel as though I was evil and it hurt my heart very deeply. He told me that he had rights to harm me because I was evil and he told me that over and over and made me feel he had rights to hurt me somehow and that I was evil but in my heart I knew it was a lie and that I have always been a pure soul. Kevin raped me most everyday I was held hostage, for about a year. Kevin raped me violently and called me evil while raping me and told me I was evil and different then other people. Kevin hurt my soul very deeply. Kevin harmed me sexually. Kevin told me that he could deform me so that I would no longer be myself and beautiful. Kevin was a Satanist. Kevin was very cruel and most everyday raped me and called me evil while he raped me. Kevin acted as though he owned my body very much and he acted as though I was his property. Kevin told me he could cut my long hair so I would not be beautiful anymore. My hair has always been long, even though I have suffered with Alopecia still throughout my life, it comes about 6 inches down my back when straightened with a blow dryer and is very soft. I love my hair and it did hurt my soul to hear him say he would cut it. Kevin told me I was evil while he raped me over and over and it deeply harmed my heart and made me feel like I was evil and different from other people but I knew in my heart I was a pure soul and was never evil. I am very small framed. I have always been very small framed. Kevin helped Silver force me to overeat. I did gain weight and Kevin made fun of me. He told me I was fat and he told me he could make me very sick by overfeeding me. Kevin often told me my body was ugly and when I was naked he made fun of my breast. Kevin had read my journal and found something I had prayed to Christ about, where I expressed that I felt envy towards my friends hair. I was suffering from alopecia at the time. Kevin saw that in my journal from when I was younger and he said I was evil for it and that I hurt my friend and that the Devil hurt me because of that and that it was very evil. This hurt my heart very greatly. I knew in my heart I was being punished for something I prayed to Christ about and that I did not want to harm my friends hair and did not truly envy her hair but loved it and loved her and that it was being used to terrorize me even though it was my own thoughts and my own prayers to Christ. This hurt my heart deeply and he talked about that prayer often saying that it evil and that I hurt my friend. He told me over and over that I was evil for the prayer and that I hurt my friend. He told me that I was very evil for the prayer to Christ and that I had hurt my friend. It hurt my heart very deeply. He made me feel as though I was evil. He made me feel as though I had done evil. The Lord told my heart that the prayer was to Him and that I had in no way harmed my friend but I loved her very much. Kevin was very cruel to me and he continued to act as though I was evil for my prayer. Kevin told me that I was evil for my prayer and that it made the Devil hurt me. Kevin called me "trash" often an it hurt my spirit. He also called me evil often. He harmed my spirit very deeply and he often told me these things while raping me. I am still healing from these rapes and they were very painful to my soul. I still feel trauma because of Kevin and Silver, and particularly Kevin and how he raped me and spoke to me and hurt me. Caleb is helping me heal sexually. He is very gentle with me and loving towards me. He is tender with me. He helps me see that my body and hair belong to him. He helps me see that I am beautiful. Caleb knows that I was raped too many times and he reads books about sexual abuse with me and he is gentle with me physically. He tells me that Kevin was very evil and violated me because I am a beautiful soul and kind and suffering. He tells me that Kevin knew I was precious and that he knew I belonged to him. I am healing from sexual abuse and Caleb is helping me.
