Healing after a Christian breakup. Your story

[sundewgrower]

I'm sorry that happened. I hope you really are alright. We always have Hope! The whole being part Jew seems so ridiculous to me. God does work in ways that seem strange to us. I hope He provided you with more peace and joy. =]

I am over it now thankfully. At age 21 I just woke up realizing that there are cool girls to talk to out there and that they're over seas since nobody sane lives in Hawai'i. She was 23 so I looked up to her. It was handled well but I got crushed easily since I had no experience. I'm thankful she treated me well, but just wish she'd had said less. The culture bug bit me years back, and so I pray but I think I'll end up with a better half from some other culture or that's weird at least

Thank you Darth_Bagel. The people that I have spoken to about this all say that same line, "You dodged a bullet." They all say I'll find someone better and so forth. I just don't ever want to be used again like this... I guess that's fear speaking.
.........
The dude currently sleeps in his car, can't get an apartment because of his bad credit, can't even pay his debt to me right now. I have to be so over this. He started out this relationship with his new lady on horrible terms. She knew it, he knew it too. I just can't anymore. God, deal with me and deal with him, please. I desire for more discernment next time around if there is a next time.

Not that you haven't heard this already.
But better that then getting married to him since he failed the test.

Not that it compares. But I have a very close friend who is like a sister to me and I hope we can be that way for a long time since I want to love her as such. She & I had some interest, but she isn't mature (too young), and so eventually I took control then kindly placed it into brother/sister status.
Now she is a little sister, and I even speak to her younger sisters since I'm the cool foreigner guy that's rumored to treat her older sister very politely.
She more or less was the one who got me out of that funk. I won't forget that, and I for one won't have any intent on leaving her when I prayerfully get a girlfriend. Maybe I'm just a rare specie here as her family says, but if somebody is a good friend who cares then you're not going to drop them when you see what you "really" want.

I have my problems. I don't live on my own, and I rely on my parents some.... But please feel good this happened! Not that money is most important, but I hope you can land a really nice guy who has some financial prudence since that'll make your married life easier since it's not what you have but how you use it.
I know you already see this. But just look hard at it. I haven't had a single girlfriend, or date yet. I don't think I'm super special, but I just think it's good to look really well at everything so you can avoid things.
But God will lead you down paths you'd never knowing want to take so sometimes it just happens.

 

[redblue22]

listening.

 

[CCHIPSS]

Thank you Darth_Bagel. The people that I have spoken to about this all say that same line, "You dodged a bullet." They all say I'll find someone better and so forth. I just don't ever want to be used again like this... I guess that's fear speaking. I will take your advice and try to find a professional counselor. I may see someone at my university. As far as church, I am committed to my particular church. I've been there for four years now, since it's beginning. I go there to hear the Word, to fellowship with my women (all of whom I have a very strong bond with), and I try to avoid the ex. It's hard, no doubt, because he speaks every Sunday but I have to deal with it. I figure it'll make me stronger in some way. I don't speak to him, he doesn't speak to me. I'm still human and all I could do right now is avoid him, no eye contact, no greetings, no anything. I'm not giving up my church life because of this dude. I'm not giving up going to my school because if him either.

The dude currently sleeps in his car, can't get an apartment because of his bad credit, can't even pay his debt to me right now. I have to be so over this. He started out this relationship with his new lady on horrible terms. She knew it, he knew it too. I just can't anymore. God, deal with me and deal with him, please. I desire for more discernment next time around if there is a next time.

Perhaps you are wondering why he is so nice and stuff. Why does he suddenly act all holy and Christian, while totally treating you like garbage. But it actually make sense for a guy like him to act this way.

Sometimes bad people suddenly act nice, start volunteering in church and other things. I wonder if they do it from the goodness of their hearts, or they are doing it as a show for the world. Maybe it was all an act.

Sometimes the more evil and corrupted someone is, the more he need to put on a show to pretend how holy he is.

I think God really blessed you with clarity and wisdom. Now you see the whole picture. And you are making some wise decisions.

Here is a verse for him to consider. Perhaps one day God will teach him the proper way to love. In the mean time just try to accept and love him to the best of your abilities. And yes just ignore him in the meantime until you have fully recovered.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3English Standard Version (ESV)

The Way of Love
13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing.

 

[Messy]

So she got the courage to ask her Mom, and a good part of why she said no is because I'm 1/8 Jewish.

What? That wasn't enough or too much? My goodness.

 

[redblue22]

I'm thinking of a relationship story. It all starts with one question. So, are you single and available now?

 

[sundewgrower]

What? That wasn't enough or too much? My goodness.

Nah Arabs don't like Jews so I'm told
She didn't know my heritage, and was actually teaching a week long reconciliation retreat where they bring Arabs, Jews, and Palestinians together.
So she was a tad shocked, encouraged, and etc (all I asked was if I could get to know her better nothing else). But since asking her Mom was a huge deal (this was an exchange student I knew) she didn't do it until she was sure enough to ask. Being a somewhat clueless, hopeful, and less mature guy I was crushed.
So.. God orchestrated it, and he used it. So I'm not sure what to say other than I'm glad it was last August..