my Dad rang me yesterday, to wish me a happy birthday, it really scared me, I didn't know what to say, I had flashbacks again, and it really hurt, I didn't recognise his voice, and I got soo emotional, put me in a relaly bad place. he's talking about how he wants to see me in november, I don't want to go see him, he scares me, he still raised his hand to me last time he saw me, I think the only reason he didn't hurt me was cos he never saw me on my own, there was always someone there, I'm scared. I haven't seen him in 2 years, I hadn't spoken to him in over half a year and it was a real shock, and the first time in my life he ever rembered my birthday, completely out of the blue, I was struggling enough s it is, he doesn't take no for an answer, please help, I don't know what to say to him, what if he phones again?
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he rang me - scared
- Thread starter luv4godremains
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Theresasjourney
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First realize you are 16 and have some control....kluv4godremains said:
Now think and plan....k
1. is there someone you trust you can talk to..
2. can you get an unlisted phone no?
3. can you get a restraining order that he has to stay away and not call you?
4. You have a right to say 'NO' to him....k..and God will give you the strength to say no...
5. have you thought about writting him a letter and telling him about how you feel and telling him to leave you alone..not to call..not to write back..etc..
I know its very scary.....I want you to hear..you have the power to take control of this situation and God will show you the way...k...and you have the right to take control to keep yourself safe...
praying for you...
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Dear luv,
i don't know what happened with you and your dad...
i think you shouldn't be forced to see him if you don't want to.
although it may be good to see him sometime when you are ready in order to settle things for yourself.
would it be possible to tell him that you cannot see him right now, but maybe later?
what does your mother say about that?
love & hugs,
Anna
i don't know what happened with you and your dad...
i think you shouldn't be forced to see him if you don't want to.
although it may be good to see him sometime when you are ready in order to settle things for yourself.
would it be possible to tell him that you cannot see him right now, but maybe later?
what does your mother say about that?
love & hugs,
Anna
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My mum doesn't know what happened back then, none of my family do, just a couple of really close friends.
I don't know if I want to see him or not, don't know if I acn handle it
he ignores the issues I put when writing him letters, gave up on that idea a long time ago now.
I'm just confused, I don't tihnk I will go see him, but it scares me the thought that he even remembers that I'm here! I know that sounds stupid, but it does, after soo long of not hearing from him, and I didn't even recognise his voice, I can't recall his fae, I don't want to either if I'm totally honest, I'm just scared and confused!
I don't know if I want to see him or not, don't know if I acn handle it
he ignores the issues I put when writing him letters, gave up on that idea a long time ago now.
I'm just confused, I don't tihnk I will go see him, but it scares me the thought that he even remembers that I'm here! I know that sounds stupid, but it does, after soo long of not hearing from him, and I didn't even recognise his voice, I can't recall his fae, I don't want to either if I'm totally honest, I'm just scared and confused!
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RJHarmony84
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My uninformed suggestion is that first thing, you get a Caller-ID so you know when he's calling--and let him leave messeges, but only call back if you know you'll get the answering machine. After that, maybe find yourself a safe place to stay for a while, where your Dad won't think to look for you. Have someone pick up you mail for you, and pass it through a pre-arraged system of people you trust, so that he can't follow it to you. BE CAREFUL! I don't know you, but your dad sounds dangerous! You may need to run for you life if you're not careful!
It sounds like you have a lot to deal with, and personally I think you do need to deal with it. Maybe not talking to him, maybe writing him, but absolutely not going to see him! and if you think you might not be able to handle it when you're alone and have been thinking about it for a while, then you most certainly won't be able to handle it when you're actually talking to the guy. We almost always think ourselves better prepared than we are, until we begin the test-so to speak.
You don't owe him anything, remember that. You are your own person, you absolutely have the right to not wish to talk to/see/hear from your Dad.
If he persists in hassling you, I would try to get proof of it--tape recording or video, phone records, answering machine records, I dunno. Then get an order of protection/restraining--it's much easier to get one nowadays if you have proof of current hassling or physical abuse. Many judges will throw you out on your tail unless you have solid proof of one of these things.
I truely think you need to deal with this issue on your own--you may never be able to face down your Dad, and that's OK. You shouldn't have to. Not that I'm in a place to advise, really-but hey, if this helps I'm glad to assist.
Will be praying for you, that God gives you wisdom, strength, and peace of mind.
It sounds like you have a lot to deal with, and personally I think you do need to deal with it. Maybe not talking to him, maybe writing him, but absolutely not going to see him! and if you think you might not be able to handle it when you're alone and have been thinking about it for a while, then you most certainly won't be able to handle it when you're actually talking to the guy. We almost always think ourselves better prepared than we are, until we begin the test-so to speak.
You don't owe him anything, remember that. You are your own person, you absolutely have the right to not wish to talk to/see/hear from your Dad.
If he persists in hassling you, I would try to get proof of it--tape recording or video, phone records, answering machine records, I dunno. Then get an order of protection/restraining--it's much easier to get one nowadays if you have proof of current hassling or physical abuse. Many judges will throw you out on your tail unless you have solid proof of one of these things.
I truely think you need to deal with this issue on your own--you may never be able to face down your Dad, and that's OK. You shouldn't have to. Not that I'm in a place to advise, really-but hey, if this helps I'm glad to assist.
Will be praying for you, that God gives you wisdom, strength, and peace of mind.
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RJHarmony84
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Happy Birthday Luv!!
My best wishes for a life full of joy and happiness!!
and...would it be better if you tried talking to your mom about it?
some things might be really hard to do, but if you talk to her and she understands how you feel then you'll have her support.
it's just what i think...you can think about it and decide for yourself.
all the best my dear!
My best wishes for a life full of joy and happiness!!
and...would it be better if you tried talking to your mom about it?
some things might be really hard to do, but if you talk to her and she understands how you feel then you'll have her support.
it's just what i think...you can think about it and decide for yourself.
all the best my dear!
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thanks guys, he's not dangerous really, but I know he would hurt me if he got me on hi own in one of his tempers (which tends to pretty much be constant, his tempers that is) I'm not sure if he would have the guts to hurt me now or not.
I do't have his phone number so can't get caller ID (also can't afford it) and he hardly ever rings, that's one of the reasons it scared me! I don't think I will go see him yet, at elast wait till I'm old enough to handle him, and hey, then, if he tries to hurt me, I'll have learnt more of my self-defence!
I dunno, I think it's just the whole idea of him that scares me!
thankyou soo much, and no, my day wasn't all bad, just was very stressed out! lol
I do't have his phone number so can't get caller ID (also can't afford it) and he hardly ever rings, that's one of the reasons it scared me! I don't think I will go see him yet, at elast wait till I'm old enough to handle him, and hey, then, if he tries to hurt me, I'll have learnt more of my self-defence!
I dunno, I think it's just the whole idea of him that scares me!
thankyou soo much, and no, my day wasn't all bad, just was very stressed out! lol
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