He doesn't get the idea

[Lady Bug]

Hi, this is in reference to a former "family friend" who used to call and come over the house from time to time. That thread is kind of outdated but is still important for reference, but the former "family friend" still tries to remain in the picture, and I will explain.

I have blocked this man from calling the landline home (he doesn't have my mobile number), but he calls my brother every couple of months and while he's on the phone with my brother, he asks about me.

While my dad was alive, he would call my dad and do the same thing nonstop (asking to talk to me, or asking about me). This behavior started in April 2024 and continued until my dad's passing. In April 2024, when he came over to the house, he would literally talk non-stop for almost 5 hours (barring going to the bathroom) about the so-called virtues of Islam. Unfortunately, at the time, my dad told me to sit in the family room with them and I think that during our conversation, he got fixated on me and has never quit.

I thought that after my dad's passing, he'd leave me alone but every couple of months he calls my brother, presumably to get through to me. The guy never had a conversational relationship with my brother before the death. That's why I presume this.

My brother (who is not exactly a beacon of wisdom) tries to make it look like I'm not ready to talk to the man based on the notion that I'm still "trying to process things" but once that happens, he'll be able to call me. I wish my brother would be less pusillanimous but no chance of that.

This might be all over the place, but I want to reserve the right to ignore this man indefinitely, but it appears as though he's not going to stop until he gets a phone call with me. You would think that since April 2024, my non-response to him would indicate that I don't feel like corresponding with him, but no. I don't want to waste my time on the phone with a man in love with Islam (and then some). When I used to talk to him on the phone once in awhile, he'd never ever ever get off the phone. Ever. That was BEFORE April 2024. I had to make some excuse to get off the phone and even then it was hard.

I don't need people like this in my life. I wish I could make up an excuse that I'm talking to another man, but I don't have a man.

 

[Michie]

Hi, this is in reference to a former "family friend" who used to call and come over the house from time to time. That thread is kind of outdated but is still important for reference, but the former "family friend" still tries to remain in the picture, and I will explain.

I have blocked this man from calling the landline home (he doesn't have my mobile number), but he calls my brother every couple of months and while he's on the phone with my brother, he asks about me.

While my dad was alive, he would call my dad and do the same thing nonstop (asking to talk to me, or asking about me). This behavior started in April 2024 and continued until my dad's passing. In April 2024, when he came over to the house, he would literally talk non-stop for almost 5 hours (barring going to the bathroom) about the so-called virtues of Islam. Unfortunately, at the time, my dad told me to sit in the family room with them and I think that during our conversation, he got fixated on me and has never quit.

I thought that after my dad's passing, he'd leave me alone but every couple of months he calls my brother, presumably to get through to me. The guy never had a conversational relationship with my brother before the death. That's why I presume this.

My brother (who is not exactly a beacon of wisdom) tries to make it look like I'm not ready to talk to the man based on the notion that I'm still "trying to process things" but once that happens, he'll be able to call me. I wish my brother would be less pusillanimous but no chance of that.

This might be all over the place, but I want to reserve the right to ignore this man indefinitely, but it appears as though he's not going to stop until he gets a phone call with me. You would think that since April 2024, my non-response to him would indicate that I don't feel like corresponding with him, but no. I don't want to waste my time on the phone with a man in love with Islam (and then some). When I used to talk to him on the phone once in awhile, he'd never ever ever get off the phone. Ever. That was BEFORE April 2024. I had to make some excuse to get off the phone and even then it was hard.

I don't need people like this in my life. I wish I could make up an excuse that I'm talking to another man, but I don't have a man.

Just tell him you are not interested in pursuing a relationship. Sometimes you need to be polite, yet blunt. Your brother needs to stop being a dishonest milksop. Because that seems to be the problem in the end.

 

[Lady Bug]

Just tell him you are not interested in pursuing a relationship.

He's too stupid to understand that my ignoring him for a year and 8 months doesn't get through to him?

(I think the grammar is wrong but oh well)

 

[Michie]

He's too stupid to understand that my ignoring him for a year and 8 months doesn't get through to him?

(I think the grammar is wrong but oh well)

Maybe he thinks he can change your mind. It’s time to politely tell him you are not interested.

 

[FaithT]

Just tell him you are not interested in pursuing a relationship. Sometimes you need to be polite, yet blunt. Your brother needs to stop being a dishonest milksop. Because that seems to be the problem in the end.

Agreed. He needs to be told you are not interested in him or Islam and that you’re very happy being a Catholic. He’ll probably try to keep talking so thats when you say that you‘re done talking to him and that you’re hanging up. Then say “goodbye” and hang up even if he’s still talking, which he likely will be. I have to do this all the time with the incessant calls we get from telephone solicitors. And if he calls again, do the same thing.

 

[chevyontheriver]

Hi, this is in reference to a former "family friend" who used to call and come over the house from time to time. That thread is kind of outdated but is still important for reference, but the former "family friend" still tries to remain in the picture, and I will explain.

I have blocked this man from calling the landline home (he doesn't have my mobile number), but he calls my brother every couple of months and while he's on the phone with my brother, he asks about me.

While my dad was alive, he would call my dad and do the same thing nonstop (asking to talk to me, or asking about me). This behavior started in April 2024 and continued until my dad's passing. In April 2024, when he came over to the house, he would literally talk non-stop for almost 5 hours (barring going to the bathroom) about the so-called virtues of Islam. Unfortunately, at the time, my dad told me to sit in the family room with them and I think that during our conversation, he got fixated on me and has never quit.

I thought that after my dad's passing, he'd leave me alone but every couple of months he calls my brother, presumably to get through to me. The guy never had a conversational relationship with my brother before the death. That's why I presume this.

My brother (who is not exactly a beacon of wisdom) tries to make it look like I'm not ready to talk to the man based on the notion that I'm still "trying to process things" but once that happens, he'll be able to call me. I wish my brother would be less pusillanimous but no chance of that.

This might be all over the place, but I want to reserve the right to ignore this man indefinitely, but it appears as though he's not going to stop until he gets a phone call with me. You would think that since April 2024, my non-response to him would indicate that I don't feel like corresponding with him, but no. I don't want to waste my time on the phone with a man in love with Islam (and then some). When I used to talk to him on the phone once in awhile, he'd never ever ever get off the phone. Ever. That was BEFORE April 2024. I had to make some excuse to get off the phone and even then it was hard.

I don't need people like this in my life. I wish I could make up an excuse that I'm talking to another man, but I don't have a man.

So, he is stalking you. If you need to you can get a restraining order if he ever just shows up or manages to get your phone number.

As to landline phones, we got rid of those about three years ago and have not missed them one bit.

 

[FaithT]

So, he is stalking you. If you need to you can get a restraining order if he ever just shows up or manages to get your phone number.

As to landline phones, we got rid of those about three years ago and have not missed them one bit.

I havent been able to part with our landline phones. Very few people have my cell number. If my cellphone started getting as many calls from solicitors as my landline does it would drive me crazy. One day i counted 29 calls and I’m not even sure that was the last one.

 

[Michie]

I havent been able to part with our landline phones. Very few people have my cell number. If my cellphone started getting as many calls from solicitors as my landline does it would drive me crazy. One day i counted 29 calls and I’m not even sure that was the last one.

Living where I do in the woods, I have to have a landline along with my mobile. The mobile is not dependable as far as the signal. With our family situation there is no way I would not have a landline because if our location.

 

[mourningdove~]

Hi, this is in reference to a former "family friend" who used to call and come over the house from time to time. That thread is kind of outdated but is still important for reference, but the former "family friend" still tries to remain in the picture, and I will explain.

I have blocked this man from calling the landline home (he doesn't have my mobile number), but he calls my brother every couple of months and while he's on the phone with my brother, he asks about me.

While my dad was alive, he would call my dad and do the same thing nonstop (asking to talk to me, or asking about me). This behavior started in April 2024 and continued until my dad's passing. In April 2024, when he came over to the house, he would literally talk non-stop for almost 5 hours (barring going to the bathroom) about the so-called virtues of Islam. Unfortunately, at the time, my dad told me to sit in the family room with them and I think that during our conversation, he got fixated on me and has never quit.

I thought that after my dad's passing, he'd leave me alone but every couple of months he calls my brother, presumably to get through to me. The guy never had a conversational relationship with my brother before the death. That's why I presume this.

My brother (who is not exactly a beacon of wisdom) tries to make it look like I'm not ready to talk to the man based on the notion that I'm still "trying to process things" but once that happens, he'll be able to call me. I wish my brother would be less pusillanimous but no chance of that.

This might be all over the place, but I want to reserve the right to ignore this man indefinitely, but it appears as though he's not going to stop until he gets a phone call with me. You would think that since April 2024, my non-response to him would indicate that I don't feel like corresponding with him, but no. I don't want to waste my time on the phone with a man in love with Islam (and then some). When I used to talk to him on the phone once in awhile, he'd never ever ever get off the phone. Ever. That was BEFORE April 2024. I had to make some excuse to get off the phone and even then it was hard.

I don't need people like this in my life. I wish I could make up an excuse that I'm talking to another man, but I don't have a man.

It's been hard for you to get assertive with this man ... is it because you feel fearful of him in some way?
Are you afraid of what his reaction might be, when you tell him no?

Friend of the family or not, you don't deserve to be stalked, and clearly this situation is making you feel very uncomfortable. I don't know much about restraining orders, but I sure wouldn't rule out the possibility ... if this man won't take no for an answer.

 

[Lady Bug]

It's been hard for you to get assertive with this man ... is it because you feel fearful of him in some way?
Are you afraid of what his reaction might be, when you tell him no?

Friend of the family or not, you don't deserve to be stalked, and clearly this situation is making you feel very uncomfortable. I don't know much about restraining orders, but I sure wouldn't rule out the possibility ... if this man won't take no for an answer.

I'm not afraid of him, I'm just sick of him. If he's too stupid to get the idea that for a year and 8 months, I have not been responding to his requests for me to talk to him, it feels very insulting to have to tell him. If he doesn't have the idea by now, I have no fking desire to have to teach him that. He's too stupid to be taught, then. I have no desire to teach stupid men (or stupid people, regardless of gender). Those who are willingly stupid and won't learn, because they can't learn. This man is between 75 and 80. Not a young punk.

I need the landline only for technical reasons. I can still find a way to get rid of it but my stupid brother (another person who can't be taught) wants it for "nostalgia" reasons. Poo on that. I'm still not ruling out ditching it, as long as I know for sure that I don't need it to obtain automated messages about certain access codes to websites. I think I can change the number they call for that though.

I think the word "stalking" is an overstatement, but I view him as a pest, at the very least. It's very difficult to get pests to go away. That's why they're called pests (at least the bug version).

If I sound snarky, it's definitely not at you, it's at the situation, lol.

 

[FaithT]

Does this man have the hots for you or is his reason for trying to get in contact with you to try to get you to return to Islam?

 

[Lady Bug]

Does this man have the hots for you or is his reason for trying to get in contact with you to try to get you to return to Islam?

I don't know for sure. (the first question)

I would tend to think that a man who keeps wanting to contact a woman constantly like this, has some sort of thing. I could be wrong.

He has become very religious, and the fact that a very religious Muslim wants to talk one-on-one with a woman, when in the religion these things are totally "haram," raises a question mark.

I don't know if he knows that I'm not Muslim.

 

[mourningdove~]

I'm not afraid of him, I'm just sick of him. If he's too stupid to get the idea that for a year and 8 months, I have not been responding to his requests for me to talk to him, it feels very insulting to have to tell him. If he doesn't have the idea by now, I have no fking desire to have to teach him that. He's too stupid to be taught, then. I have no desire to teach stupid men (or stupid people, regardless of gender). Those who are willingly stupid and won't learn, because they can't learn. This man is between 75 and 80. Not a young punk.

Between 75 and 80???? Holy mackerel!

This man is wanting a young woman to take care of him in his old age ... and you are qualfied! He saw what a great job of it you did for your parents.

Now, that's not to say that a man his age doesn't still have desires for 'closeness', but honestly ... he is old. And getting older every day. He is looking for a caregiver.

... lol lol! Oh no, I don't think you are looking for that job, are you? LOL

p.s.
Unlike you, I do not think he is stupid. He's pursuing a vulnerable woman (alone, grieving) who hasn't yet been able to say no to him. Some men take that to mean 'yes' ... that there's still hope. He is hoping to wear you down ... catch you in a weak moment ... so no, I don't see him as being stupid at all. You would be a great prize, if he could win you over.

 

[chevyontheriver]

Living where I do in the woods, I have to have a landline along with my mobile. The mobile is not dependable as far as the signal. With our family situation there is no way I would not have a landline because if our location.

In my old house we had zero cell service yet very good cable internet. So I got a femtocell that kept the phone working fine inside the house. My own little cell tower inside the house.

 

[Lady Bug]

Between 75 and 80???? Holy mackerel!

This man is wanting a young woman to take care of him in his old age ... and you are qualfied! He saw what a great job of it you did for your parents.

Now, that's not to say that a man his age doesn't still have desires for 'closeness', but honestly ... he is old. And getting older every day. He is looking for a caregiver.

... lol lol! Oh no, I don't think you are looking for that job, are you? LOL

p.s.
Unlike you, I do not think he is stupid. He's pursuing a vulnerable woman (alone, grieving) who hasn't yet been able to say no to him. Some men take that to mean 'yes' ... that there's still hope. He is hoping to wear you down ... catch you in a weak moment ... so no, I don't see him as being stupid at all. You would be a great prize, if he could win you over.

I think your last paragraph nails it, lol. I can see so clearly now. I'm laughing even though it's not technically funny, lol.