Having some trouble with ERP

[ObsessedButBlessed]

Hello all! Glad to see the board is back up!

So I have been trying exposure for a little over a month now. Lately I feel like my OCD is trying to be really sneaky and get me from "the back end,"... like, trying to obsess about something else which then opens the door for me to think about my other obsessions. I also find myself responding to spikes about my old obsessions without even really realizing it until I've been obsessing until a minute or so has gone by!

I am happy to say that I've been exercising daily so along with the added benefits of being healthier, the anxiety has been easier to handle...

I guess I'm just feeling a little frustrated and down... kind of like two steps forward, one step backward. Seems like every time I conquer one thing, it comes back with a new twist to make me go "hmmm....." I have to confess I've been lazy with the exposure lately so I probably just need to step it up a bit... any advice or encouragement is appreciated!

 

[gracealone]

I also find myself responding to spikes about my old obsessions without even really realizing it until I've been obsessing until a minute or so has gone by!

HI Sad,
The only way I can offer encouragement to you is to say that this same thing happens to me. It's frustrating to catch myself obsessing. When that happens it doesn't take very long for me to get mentally uncomfortable. But the moment I start to feel the anxiety peaking I take a deep breath and do the exposure exercise right then and there.
Having this happen has actually added the obsession of: "Oh NO - what if my OCD is going to get real bad again?!" To which I can only reply - "So what if it does. It probably will. I'll probably be a complete basket case by tommorrow a.m. Oh well - I don't have time to think about that right now. I'll just cross that bridge when I come to it." etc. I basically have to swallow the uncertainty - which is very hard. I'm also learning that - living in the moment is essential to managing my OCD.

I am happy to say that I've been exercising daily so along with the added benefits of being healthier, the anxiety has been easier to handle...

Good for you!! I've been doing the same and find it helps me tremendously.

I guess I'm just feeling a little frustrated and down... kind of like two steps forward, one step backward. Seems like every time I conquer one thing, it comes back with a new twist to make me go "hmmm....." I have to confess I've been lazy with the exposure lately so I probably just need to step it up a bit... any advice or encouragement is appreciated! [/quote]

It's easy to get lazy about doing the exposure, especially when we've been doing better. For me, stress can really cause these periods of obsessing. I try to use the twists in my spikes as reminders to do the exposure exercises. If you have allergies and you don't take your allergy meds. you'll sneeze, but the sneezing is just a reminder that you need to take your meds. Every time your OCD sneezes just stop and take a good dose of ERP.
I think you're doing a great job and you're posts are very encouraging to me.
Praying for you,
Mitzi

 

[ObsessedButBlessed]

Hi Mitzi, thanks for the encouragement - I agree about the allergy comparison! I definitely did some exposure last night, and it seems to have helped because I'm feeling a little better this morning. That darn "testing and checking" of feelings always gets me in trouble!! I also realized that another facet of my OCD (worrying about people being mad at me/offending them) is what drew me in in the first place... it made me anxious, then I started to check for reasons WHY I was anxious! So I did some exposure on people not liking me and being mad at me, too.

Ugh, this really is a lifelong battle.

 

[RachelZ]

Hi Sad...glad you're still keeping on going with the ERP...that shows real strength of character and determination! I'm sorry you're struggling with it at the moment though...but again the fact you're keeping at it despite the difficulties is evidence of the fact that although you may not feel like it you are stronger than the OCD!

It is a real pain in the neck when the OCD twists and turns to try and wriggle free to torment you in new ways...and the feeling that this is a lifelong battle is not a pleasant one I know! However, I think there is hope that as you get more accomplished at the ERP and are more quickly able to spot when OCD is affecting your thinking and feeling, the battle may become more low key. I pray God keeps on giving you the strength to fight this...sorry haven't got much useful to say to help...hope you have a good weekend...take care, Rachel

 

[ObsessedButBlessed]

Rachel! Thanks for the encouragement. How are you doing??

 

[RachelZ]

Hope it did give some encouragement...sometimes it's hard to know what to say that'll be helpful but you really want to say something.

Not great at the mo...thank for asking...hope you're feeling a bit better...take care, Rachel