Have you ever noticed the negative effects that relationship can have?

[Stanfi]

Has anyone else here ever noticed the negative effects that relationship can have on us? Specifically relationships gone bad. In these forums we read countless accounts of states of depression being related to a relationship gone bad. What do you all think that relationships can have such overpowering effects on us? Often affecting us, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. However, yet in due time we will persue again. This is something that I often due not understand as why that special someone can have so much power.

 

[mina]

Every relationship is a risk. You put yourself in a vunerable position. So does the other person. With every relationship there is the risk that you will get hurt. And when you become emotionally attached to a person it hurts when the attachement has to be broken. We need human relationships, but it's important to be secure in the Lord before you persue a serious one. If y ou are secure with who you are in the Lord and secure with your relationship with God, it's still going to hurt when a human relationship is broken but you will not have as many negative effects.

 

[looksgood]

Thats something I thought of last night. It seems people break off from others out of the fear of "What if it doesn't work out?" But I think it is better to ask, "What if it does?" And we should work hard for that.

All relationships are a danger. But they are worth the work and hope. At least that is my thoughts.

 

[mina]

i agree they are worth the risk. That's how we grow. When you've experienced the hurt of a bad relationship, you get to know God in an awesome way. And the risk might turn out in your favor and you will have a good thing.

 

[Stanfi]

This kind of relates to another thread that I started, but do you think the reason that they can hurt so bad when they are broken is that they are something that we need?

 

[mina]

Well weither we need it or want it ( I think it can be both)- it still hurts when you are vunerable with your heart and it the relationship ends. I think we all need to be careful before entering a relationship- picky is a good thing. Don't give your heart away to just anyone. Make sure they are worth the risk. You are vaulable to God. Treat yourself and your heart as such.

 

[looksgood]

No I don't think it hurts cause they are something we need. I believe it hurts because we get so close that it is like losing a part of our own selves. God said two would be one. I think that may in fact happen in the bonding and not after marage. Please note that two being one does not always mean in sex. So when we lose each other we lose a part of our own body. It is emotionaly like losing your arm to a grenade.

But it doesn't have to be that way. If both people would take the steps needed to work things out they could make it. I mean if they bonded so close already, why not work things out? I hear a lot of divorse subjects, but I think this is almost as bad. I see the time that two people are comited to each other as a preparation for marage. This is where they must learn how to handle these problems. I believe the same rules of a marage apply in this relationship.

 

[Stanfi]

Mina,

That is very good advice and very true. I have learned that the hard way.


looksgood,

I think the key to avoiding disastourus heartbreak is good and open communication. Tell people exactly what you think and how you feel. Don't play games, and assume that something is obvious to both people involved. Sure, at times it may seem awkard saying something to someone, but a small stab heals easier than the arm getting blown off by a grenade later. A girl I knew came me so much confusion that my head still hurts just thinking about it.

 

[looksgood]

I agree with you 100% mrstace. Comunication is a BIG thing.

One more thing I would like to say though. God has given us guidlines in all things. So many times we want something so bad that we ignore them. But when God said don't be unequaly yokes we should listen and not even begin to get into a relationship like that to start with. Gods word is a lamp to our feet directing our steps. He shows us the dangers and benifits. We chose then where in our view to step.

 

[danielb]

Has anyone else here ever noticed the negative effects that relationship can have on us?

Like spending too much time with each other and totally losing contact with your friends & family? Seen that one happen to myself and friends. Need to take it nice and steady next time I think....

DanielB

 

[Stanfi]

Like spending too much time with each other and totally losing contact with your friends & family? Seen that one happen to myself and friends. Need to take it nice and steady next time I think....

DanielB

danileb,

I have seen this also. Many times that special someone will allow us to push everyone else right out of our lives. This is not right. Many times loves will come and go, but genuine friends are for a lifetime. Good ones are hard to come by, and we need to take care of them.