Have i lost my way ????? I think the fires out

[savedbyfaithinchrist]

So maby i can start this off by saying i tryed to think of an exuse for falling but i do have to say i feal no remorse for what ive done.
I am happy to sleep in on Sundays and spend more time with my family and lets not forget saying curse words when i want to .
Maby i kinda care that i am not involved in Church anymore and thats why i am writing this but maby its bordom from being at work with nothing to do for another 7 hours.
I was once an Asst Pastor and a Minister to hundreds of homeless and even planed on becoming a Pastor for life but i am what i am.
I dont pray at all anymore i curse him more than praise him I have not lost a loved one or had anything BIG or live changing happen.
There was a Person BEFORE that wanted me to turn to Christ that even tho I told Him that I would hurt him if He did not stop talking to me about Christ i would hurt him he never gave up on me.
I dont see that anymore in anyone that was the only Christian i knew that would stand aganist evil like that and when i became a Christian i was the same way but know like ive said its not my way anymore I think that if Adam and Eve's SIN was passed on to use tho we did no wrong why should we suffer and why would a man named Jesus our God in the flesh have to die for us (MISTAKE HE MADE MABY ????)
So if you have a kind word id love to hear it if not i care none but sometimes i miss my personal relationship with Christ...........

 

[KATHXOYMENOC]

So maby i can start this off by saying i tryed to think of an exuse for falling but i do have to say i feal no remorse for what ive done.
I am happy to sleep in on Sundays and spend more time with my family and lets not forget saying curse words when i want to .
Maby i kinda care that i am not involved in Church anymore and thats why i am writing this but maby its bordom from being at work with nothing to do for another 7 hours.
I was once an Asst Pastor and a Minister to hundreds of homeless and even planed on becoming a Pastor for life but i am what i am.
I dont pray at all anymore i curse him more than praise him I have not lost a loved one or had anything BIG or live changing happen.
There was a Person BEFORE that wanted me to turn to Christ that even tho I told Him that I would hurt him if He did not stop talking to me about Christ i would hurt him he never gave up on me.
I dont see that anymore in anyone that was the only Christian i knew that would stand aganist evil like that and when i became a Christian i was the same way but know like ive said its not my way anymore I think that if Adam and Eve's SIN was passed on to use tho we did no wrong why should we suffer and why would a man named Jesus our God in the flesh have to die for us (MISTAKE HE MADE MABY ????)
So if you have a kind word id love to hear it if not i care none but sometimes i miss my personal relationship with Christ...........

Maybe you should investigate the [Eastern] Orthodox view of the effects of Adam and Eve's sin on mankind and the reason for Christ's death. I'm sure your questions about these will get some polite and knowledgeable responses at the TAW (The Ancient Way) forum here at Christian Forums.

http://www.christianforums.com/f145-the-ancient-way-eastern-orthodox.html

The Orthodox Church has been around for 2,000 years, and has some different historical and theological things to say about these things that may rekindle and reawaken your faith.

 

[BrEnDiNo99]

sounds to me like your fire has gone out. There is nothing I can say that will change your decisions about the path you make in life, it is an answer you must seek deep within your self. I can only pray that you will make a righteous decision. Good luck.


Your brother in christ
Brendan

 

[linssue55]

So maby i can start this off by saying i tryed to think of an exuse for falling but i do have to say i feal no remorse for what ive done.
I am happy to sleep in on Sundays and spend more time with my family and lets not forget saying curse words when i want to .
Maby i kinda care that i am not involved in Church anymore and thats why i am writing this but maby its bordom from being at work with nothing to do for another 7 hours.
I was once an Asst Pastor and a Minister to hundreds of homeless and even planed on becoming a Pastor for life but i am what i am.
I dont pray at all anymore i curse him more than praise him I have not lost a loved one or had anything BIG or live changing happen.
There was a Person BEFORE that wanted me to turn to Christ that even tho I told Him that I would hurt him if He did not stop talking to me about Christ i would hurt him he never gave up on me.
I dont see that anymore in anyone that was the only Christian i knew that would stand aganist evil like that and when i became a Christian i was the same way but know like ive said its not my way anymore I think that if Adam and Eve's SIN was passed on to use tho we did no wrong why should we suffer and why would a man named Jesus our God in the flesh have to die for us (MISTAKE HE MADE MABY ????)
So if you have a kind word id love to hear it if not i care none but sometimes i miss my personal relationship with Christ...........

You don't have to go to church to be a believer and love the Lord and follow His mandates. Many have no church around with their right pastor teacher, so God gave those people the miracle of online learning and growing in grace. If your alone or have a family.....all can listen/or not.

My right pastor teacher is over a thousand miles away, so I listen online and recieve the message right along with the congregation. Before online, the church sent tapes (free of charge to all) and matrials at no charge.
I have been going to this church for over 30 years, and I am reaching the high ground, filled with the spirit, use epi-gnosis doctrine resident in my soul in all I do, and love my Lord and savior with all of my heart.

God provides for those that don't have their church to go to, and He provides it everyday for me online. Also this way I can learn doctrine and grow in grace everyday, and reach the high ground much faster.

Here is the link if you would like it, non-denominational lessons, of the bible and our Lord, ALL free. You can order any material you see also, all free. Hundreds of lesson's, the older lessons in archive, and new recent lesson's. Remember God loves you and He has not given up on you, He never will.

http://www.gbible.org/

 

[Stan53]

but sometimes i miss my personal relationship with Christ...........

You can change that any time you choose.
Sounds to me like you are either looking for an excuse or sympathy or both and you wont get either.
Seems like there was no substance to your faith in the first place. Maybe you only thought you knew Christ. Bit like the fellow who planted a feather in the ground. He thought it would grow a bird. Still waiting for the bird. Asss Pastor hey? Hmmm, ego is a wonderful thing isn't it.
Most of the stuff in your post was rot. But there was some honesty in it. How about trying to be honest with Christ for a change? It's a good place to start.

 

[mildlydeluded]

So maby i can start this off by saying i tryed to think of an exuse for falling but i do have to say i feal no remorse for what ive done.
I am happy to sleep in on Sundays and spend more time with my family and lets not forget saying curse words when i want to .
Maby i kinda care that i am not involved in Church anymore and thats why i am writing this but maby its bordom from being at work with nothing to do for another 7 hours.
I was once an Asst Pastor and a Minister to hundreds of homeless and even planed on becoming a Pastor for life but i am what i am.
I dont pray at all anymore i curse him more than praise him I have not lost a loved one or had anything BIG or live changing happen.
There was a Person BEFORE that wanted me to turn to Christ that even tho I told Him that I would hurt him if He did not stop talking to me about Christ i would hurt him he never gave up on me.
I dont see that anymore in anyone that was the only Christian i knew that would stand aganist evil like that and when i became a Christian i was the same way but know like ive said its not my way anymore I think that if Adam and Eve's SIN was passed on to use tho we did no wrong why should we suffer and why would a man named Jesus our God in the flesh have to die for us (MISTAKE HE MADE MABY ????)
So if you have a kind word id love to hear it if not i care none but sometimes i miss my personal relationship with Christ...........

I went cold once; for about 10 years...it was not too much fun...I thought the flame had died... but it is always this fact to remember... It is Jesus who loved you long before you were born, and well he is really good at blowing on smouldering embers of a love that has grown cold, or frozen or worse dead. He resurrected this one guy called Lazarus, so when he is ready he will give you back the good feelings. I believe the main reason he lets us mess up, is cause so many times we get all religious on God, big time preacher man, pulpit basher, holy joe, I believe the main reason he lets us mess up is so that he can work some real stuff in us...are you ready for the real stuff.. It only takes a spark to get a fire going.... here it is...Jesus loved you before you loved Him, it is pretty hard to get rid of a love like that... Jesus said, "I love you" did you hear ?

 

[wjones842005]

You only get out of a relationship what you put in; if you continually deny yourself of these things that keep you close to Christ, your relationship will go down the drain. As far as going to church, it is good for fellowship, but I don't see any "wrong" in not attending (unless you're Catholic). I myself don't believe that our relationship with God is a feeling thing, it is a choice, which later becomes a duty. The Bible says that Christ endured all temptation without sinning, so I think Christ wasn't always "feeling" it when he was ministering on Earth.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

Having a relationship with Christ isn't alway feeling his presence or being all lovey doving and passing along prayer requests and saving souls. Feelings come and go. Our mood changes. This nasty world gets a hold of us but God waits. He waited for us to accept Him and he waits for us to return when we stray. No one can lead you back. That is a work between you and Jesus. He is the only one that can really build your fire again. But he can only do it if you let Him.

About this nasty world and the bad stuff around us. . . think about the story of Joseph from begining to end. God has big plans. They don't play out very fast at times but he can use even the sins of others to create a good thing.

 

[Nadiine]

So maby i can start this off by saying i tryed to think of an exuse for falling but i do have to say i feal no remorse for what ive done.
I am happy to sleep in on Sundays and spend more time with my family and lets not forget saying curse words when i want to .
Maby i kinda care that i am not involved in Church anymore and thats why i am writing this but maby its bordom from being at work with nothing to do for another 7 hours.
I was once an Asst Pastor and a Minister to hundreds of homeless and even planed on becoming a Pastor for life but i am what i am.
I dont pray at all anymore i curse him more than praise him I have not lost a loved one or had anything BIG or live changing happen.
There was a Person BEFORE that wanted me to turn to Christ that even tho I told Him that I would hurt him if He did not stop talking to me about Christ i would hurt him he never gave up on me.
I dont see that anymore in anyone that was the only Christian i knew that would stand aganist evil like that and when i became a Christian i was the same way but know like ive said its not my way anymore I think that if Adam and Eve's SIN was passed on to use tho we did no wrong why should we suffer and why would a man named Jesus our God in the flesh have to die for us (MISTAKE HE MADE MABY ????)
So if you have a kind word id love to hear it if not i care none but sometimes i miss my personal relationship with Christ...........

Hi, well, this is something I went thru myself 2 yrs ago.
I did some studying on how backsliding happens... each time I'd read the reasons, SIN was always at the top of the list.

Your thoughts on the whole Adam & Eve thing are just your way of justifying-reasoning your rebellion/apathy...
We're judged on what we do with our "handicap" - the issue is, WE ALL HAVE THE SAME HANDICAP & we're all on the SAME playing field with the SOLUTION given to us for free.
Some people accept God, many don't. Those who do are rewarded eternally.
There's stuff in this life i dislike too... I hate that cancer exists, I hate having to make money to exist/work, I hate pier/societal pressure, that people are rude & mean, I hate death, pain, aging, dentists, abuse... but they're still realities we have to face.
Hiding from it or attacking reality doesn't help or change it. It is what it is.

That's kinda like blaming the Coast Guard for drowning when they tossed you a raft but you refused to grab hold of it.
It's not their fault that you rejected your means of rescue.
The issue isn't "what/who caused your drowning situation"; YOU'RE DROWNING... YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING about it despite what's fair or unfair.

But back to the possible source...
I can't remember which I started first, 'small' sins that I didn't bother repenting & continued in, or stopping my personal devotional life. Daily bible reading.

Either way, I was doing both pretty quickly, which cuts off ALL prayer life, which cuts communication & relationship w/ God.
& then the snowball effect happens as we fill up & feed on the WORLD while our spirit starves.

I always keep in mind the parable of the Sower in Mat. 13 how the 'cares of this world chokes out the Word of God"...

In my personal experience of backsliding (more than once), I've learned a few things:
1) I WAS NEVER HAPPY OR JOYFUL living away from God. I was very lonely & miserable.
I personally think that the most unhappy people on this planet are Christians that aren't living right with God.
2) I caused myself more trouble & problems by my bad choices that brought consequences/guilt
3) God is patient & gracious with us but eventually will resort to having to work situations to move us out of Spiritual Apathy & back to Him.
We never know how long we have till God deals with our condition. & even if He does, it's only becuz He loves us.
But we DO know that God says in Revelation that He chastens His own children; it's a good sign if God DOES convict & discipline us!!

This is going on ALOT right now in the church & I personally think prophecy is being fulfilled where many are leaving the faith. 1 Tim 4:1.

I think this exodus from the faith will continue till Christ's return - which will be soon as I see the other prophecies culminating at the same time all over the world.

I pray for you my friend, it's a nasty, unpleasant place to be for any true believer in Christ.
I pray God keep us all out of apathy; time I think, is short & there's lots to do.
When you do come back, you'll truly love that inner JOY He brings & it's SO elating & peaceful!!!

 

[Nadiine]

I forgot to add one thing I always did during my periods of backsliding...

Say short little prayers here & there out loud, ASK GOD to light your spiritual fire again.
Ask God to help you. Since you can't pray, just do one liners here & there asking Him to bring back your first love.
Ask Him to help you to WANT to.
HE WILL DO IT.

Many times I'd sit & cry & beg God to help me, then I'd run right off & commit a sin... but I KEPT PRAYING that God would fix me & have grace on me.

He is still there.

 

[Dustyoldguy]

It is by Grace that you have been saved, not by works. If you wish to re-kindle the spirit, you must first learn to walk in the spirit. "now how may I do that?" you may ask, it's simple.

Learn the word of God, Jesus is the word, and so is the sword of the spirit. (Eph. 3) The bible and faith in Christ go hand-in-hand. You cannot say that it is more important to pray or know God than knowing His word. Jesus said that the scripture speaks of Him, and it is true, that without scripture, we would have no knowledge of Christ.

You cannot take a pair of scissors and say one blade is more important than the other, you cannot have pants and say one leg is more important than the other. Thus is the same with Christ and the bible. Christ is the word of God, the bible is God's word.

We all have to travel through deep valleys in our Christian walk. We are no better then Chist, and He shows no favoritism.

Read your bible diligently!

 

[march56]

Well saved?
You sure sound like one pathetic individual but I don't want to blast at you cause I might break some of these rules and I'm new to this.
Here's the deal: we all have a plug which can get pulled at any time. No different than vines that don't produce and the owner has to come and rip em out. Get it? But I really think I'm not equipped to take this discourse to the next level and at any rate you sound like you need to really hit bottom before you change anything. I just hope you save yourself some greif and do it now; you know, learn by others' mistakes kind of thing.
-M.C.

 

[mildlydeluded]

Well saved?
You sure sound like one pathetic individual but I don't want to blast at you cause I might break some of these rules and I'm new to this.
Here's the deal: we all have a plug which can get pulled at any time. No different than vines that don't produce and the owner has to come and rip em out. Get it? But I really think I'm not equipped to take this discourse to the next level and at any rate you sound like you need to really hit bottom before you change anything. I just hope you save yourself some greif and do it now; you know, learn by others' mistakes kind of thing.
-M.C.

I am not sure that 'plugs pulled' is a descriptive metaphor that will help someone who is struggling with feelings of doubt. We have armour for that.

 

[tonysma]

You know, I would like to give you some words of wisdom...But I guess I don't have a lot of that. This morning, however, as I read in Genesis, It says that satan also has children...maybe you might like to think about that. Going to church does not make you a christian..Praying does not make you a christian..However, it does help..

 

[pdfiddler]

Jesus said therefore to the twelve, "You do not want to go away also, do you? Simon Peter answered Him,"Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life."

 

[holo]

mildlydeluded,

my advice is to simply let all this happen. I've been through something similar several times. The last time I seemed to lose my faith, I remember screaming to God from the top of my lungs, "Are you even there...!?"

No answer.

And obviously, it tore me apart. But the end result was that when faith finally returned (like a free flying butterfly, not a heavy rock I have to lift), it was purged of all my efforts to believe, all the false faith that had contaminated the true faith which came from the Lord.

My faith went back to the size of a mustard seed again, and it felt so good, because that part of my faith was the only real part. All the rest was just theology and opinion and my effort to have faith in my own faith.

Let it go. Let go of the traditions, let go and let your faith be either real or non-existant. Open your arms and your head and your heart to the universe and, if you can, say honestly what you believe, if anything. Ask God to give you faith if he's actually there, if he actually cares. Leave church for a while if does nothing for you. Speak your own language, swear if you want, be angry at God if you are - if he's there he can take it.

Because after all, if he's not, you're better off being an atheist.

I know it hurts. Truth often does, and truth also sometimes comes as a process. But your entire situation is probably a result of the fact that deep down inside, you're actually an unusually honest person.

Can we dare to trust God himself to give us faith, instead of trying to believe?

 

[Jay0]

Some Eagles go through periods where they are at an altitude lower than what they are biologically made for i.e. walking around on ground level. Well, because of this, they develop calcium in their heads and other problems and eventually become too weak to eat, they become very very weak because of the calcification they can't even fly higher. So their biggest problem is they can't hunt which means they cannot eat.
What does this have to do with you? A lot of times us Christians walk "below" what we should be doing and go through a similar experience where we lose heart and strength and eventually stop eating our daily bread. So its a catch 22... we don't eat b/c we've lost strength and we are losing strength because we're not eating.
The solution...Start eating my brother!!! Even if its just 5 minutes a day of prayer and reading, get your strength!
Lastly, know that Christ will leave the 99 sheep to find the one lost one. Even if your the prodigal son that willingly left and went out, God will still run out to meet you and welcome you back with open arms.
pm me if you ever need any encouragement... I'm praying for you!

 

[Barrenlimb]

Your life is what it is. My bible says if you seek you will find, if you knock the door will be opened to you. So whats the problem? You seeking? you knocking?

 

[tturt]

Unfortunately, many ministers (pastors, priests, etc) minister out of their belly until they have nothing for others or themselves. Ministers need to be filled and only minister out of overflow. Of course, this applies to every Christian who has a ministry of any type.

In your case, you've given until you have absolutely depleted everything except a spark...

(feel free to pm).

In any case, may the LORD bless and keep you.

 

[Cris413]

I've been a believer for about 25 years. In those 25 years I can maybe say that I truly walked in the Spirit for about 7 or 8 collectively. I think I did hit a 3 year stretch at one time.

To be very honest...I think my problem at the times of "backsliding" was that I wasn't willing to become broken. I didn't want the discomfort of being disciplined. I didn't want accountability. I didn't want to wait patiently on the Lord. I doubted His way or His timing was right for me so I took matters into my own hands. (and made quite a mess of things)

I went to a wonderful, Spirit filled church with a great Pastor-Teacher 3-4 times a week. I served in the Children's Ministry. I was a prayer warrior. I studied the Bible every day. I was truly growing.

Then it hit me...I was doing all this for God, but what was God doing for me? I was sacrificing my life for Him but what was I getting out of it. I was still alone. Still struggling to keep a roof over my head working 2-3 jobs. This was satan's deception. Sometimes I forget that I am here to serve God. God is not here to serve me.

1st Peter 5:6-11 (NIV) Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughtout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen


I'll keep you in prayer.