I don't think that ANYONE wants a divorce (unless they are the one being unfaithful). I know that even though my husband was abusive in many aspects, I never WANTED to go through a divorce. Divorces are painful, no one wants that pain, but sometimes it cannot be avoided and that is what i had to accept. I filed for divorce in my case and while i didn't want to go through it, i knew i had to because he had already broken me as a person. If i didnt leave, I would never have lived through the marriage (he was a police officer and his favorite thing to do was take his gun and put it to my head).
I don't think that very often you will find people who do it out of pride, either. what praciticing christian would be proud of a divorce? i wasn't. I was horribly ashamed of myself and my situation. 21 and divorced, i just knew that GOD would never forgive me and that I would nevre forgive myself. God is there, though, when we are at our most humble and we feel like he could never love us or forgive us...he is there and he does forgive.
My ex husband never threatened divorce. his resolution to it all was to kill me and then kill himself. he wouldnt divorce me because in spite of the fact that i was fat, ugly, lazy, and useless-we were meant to be together and the only way he would break that "bond" we had is to end both our lives. I had no one else in my life and for nearly two years after the divorce, i didn't even try to date because i still felt like i would be unfaithful to my already-remarried ex husband.
In the end, I filed for the divorce, he signed a petition to not show up for court...our divorce was finalized and he was married to his FOURTH wife a week after our divorce was finalized.
Ash, you and I have spoken quite a bit about your situation. While your husband has not abused you physically, he has abandoned you. You have said yourself that you are holding on to something that was never there. I still stand by what I said, wait until you are sure, bu don't let yourself get in the way. Ash is the only one that can make the decision that she has had enough. No one else can make that decision for you. Once you decide that, though, you will be certain of it and you will have no regrets. Please just don't get caught up in what we have to say. Follow what the Lord has written on your heart, he will NEVER lead you astray. Bless you sister and I am praying for you!
